Category: Relationships

Beyond Words: Take 4 – A Personality Specific Faith

Larson personalityIn this edition of Beyond Words let’s look at how your personality filters your faith.

My wife is sitting across from me just opening a medium-size bag of M&Ms. Different colors on the outside and consistently the same within. Very much like our world’s Christ-followers. Sometimes, even with a few nuts thrown in for variety.

Not all Christians are alike. Not all expressions of our faith are alike. Not all people are alike. Kind of like stating the obvious, isn’t it.

Yet within the decreasing influence of Western Christendom we try to maintain a boring sameness in our faith as is impossible. The reality of divergent races, cultures, and personalities should be obvious. We are all not one. We are a complex multiplicity of beings with a common commitment to Jesus Christ.

Thankfully, we live in an era where some really smart people have done some deep research on the different kinds of people we are. Isabel Briggs Myers and Katherine Cook Myers began their research in 1917, which culminated in the Myers-Briggs (Personality) Type Indicator Test in 1956 (MBTI). You can take a simplified FREE version of the Test here—

https://www.16personalities.com/free-personality-test

The observable reality that we each have a distinct personality is a great gift from God. For Christians, it means that the gospel can take on different shapes and nuances across a broad spectrum of races, cultures, and divergent personalities. We don’t all have to be the same. Even better, none of you have to be likeme. [Phew!]

You see, when God created us He intentionally built into us divergent dispositions to reflect the majesty of His glory. Thus, we are NOT all the same; nor should we be. If we were, it would be an admission that people are unilaterally boring and that the Lord God Creator of the universe is, in fact, not all that creative.

The myriad of different cultures and human personality traits is proof of exactly the opposite. Therefore we should also expect a plethora of different kinds of Christians— quiet, contemplative, sensitive, exuberant, and nuts. This must be so because the majesty and diversity of the Trinity imprints upon us, not in a manner to rob us of who God has made us, but to empower us within our specific personality design. What a gift!

So, get used to being you, trying to offend as few as possible. You have been designed the way you are for a reason; find out what it is.

For what it’s worth,

Gary

Treadmill

The Treadmill. Once you get moving on one it’s hard to stop. You know what I mean. That daily routine you repeat day after day. Not that it’s a bad routine; but it may not be a necessarily good way to live, day after day after day.

Some of us come to hate our jobs, our family life, even our own lives. We just get bored with the same ol’ same ol’. Frustrated! Isn’t life supposed to be more than this?!?

well, yes.

But how to make it more is the trick. Here are some ideas that have worked for me—

  1. Sleep! Start your day the night before. Then get up at the same time every day. (Except on vacation.)
  2. Breathe in…, breathe out. Start your day with stretching, breathing exercises, even walking a mile.
  3. Drink lots of coffee. It has produced great energy in laboratory rats before it killed them.
  4. Quiet your soul in prayer; 5+ minutes at least.
  5. Listen to heart-thumping, heavy base music on your way to work. Classical music (which I love) just doesn’t get me pumped for what lies ahead.
  6. Drink apricot-mango juice. It will clear the crap out quite well.
  7. Process work frustrations with a friend, not your partner. Show up at home ready to serve.
  8. Sell the kids if you have them…, or at least get a baby sitter so you can have one night OUT a week. AND, one Saturday a month, escape your present environment. Go…, anywhere. Just leave, with or without the kids.
  9. Drink tea…, and carry on. Or, for some of us, a good dram of single malt scotch. Jus’ sayin’.
  10. Before you go to bed that night, say you are sorry for whatever you did today to wound another person. And mean it. Call them from bed if you have to. You want to start tomorrow with a clean slate.

I realize these ideas will not work for everyone. Sometimes they don’t even work for me. But if you want your life to have a little more oomph, a little more pizzazz to it, YOU have to make it happen. No one else will.

Back to the Treadmill…, with more gusto, less crap!

For what it’s worth,

Gary

The (real)First Step

The first step in bringing people to faith in Christ is to get to know them. BUT before that, we need to understand how they see is. One of the ways I find out what people think about us it to ask them.

Here’s a video of just such conversations.

So when you leave your computer/phone, immerse yourself in the lives of your friends and workmates. Start by ASKING questions like:

1.What do you enjoy most about your life?

2. What is the most fun thing you’ve ever done?

3. What was it like growing up?

4. What has been your experience with Christianity, good and bad?

5. Describe your religious beliefs now. What does your spirituality offer you that Christianity does not?

6. To what extent do your beliefs influence your decisions and life motivations?

7.What problems do you have with the Church and/or Christianity?

8. How do you feel when a Christian tries to convert you?

9.How would you like Christians to treat you?

10. If you could change anything about the church, christians or Christianity what would you change?

11. How do you know that you are loved by someone?

Then after you have won the right to be heard, (maybe months or even years later) tell them about the God who created them, who loves them and who wants to give them everything He has to offer. Tell them about the God who offers his forgiveness to them for all the times they dishonored him. Tell them about the God who wants to make them WHOLE persons again.

 

 

 

Cotton Candy Christians

cotton candy, christians, muslims, real, faith, genuineAbu Bakr al Baghdadi, the recognized leader of the new Islamic Caliphate-without-borders, accused those Muslims who do not support ISIS’ interpretation of the Qu’ran, as being “cotton-candy-Muslims.” His disgust with the mediocre state of Islam today drew him to support, sponsor, and now lead the Islamic State of Iraq and Syria.

His vehement declaration about Muslims drew me to ponder whether or not evangelical Christians in the West could be accused of being cotton-candy-Christians? How could normal people spot a cotton-candy-Christian? Some thoughts—

1.      Uses religious phrases to sound Christian and fit in.

2.      Cannot communicate in normal speech patterns to normal people.

3.      Freezes up when a “non-Christian” asks them about their faith. Gets all tight. Falls back on some pre-scribed formula.

4.      Remembers wrongs. Does not forgive, but pretends to.

5.      Knows little to nothing about what’s going on in the world but judges it nonetheless.

6.      Great at quoting Scripture, even when inappropriate.

7.      Is afraid of everything and everyone outside their Christian Bubble.

So then I wondered, How could a normal person spot a genuine Christian? Hummm, let’s see… .

1.      Their inconceivable capacity to forgive others.

2.      Enjoys the company of normal people.

3.      Celebrates life!

4.      Does not judge anyone. Anyone. Leaves that to God.

5.      Is gracious to a fault, sacrificing their own livelihood for that of others.

6.      Weaves their faith into conversations without intent; rather, with aplomb.

7.      Gives God room to work. Doesn’t strive to “close the deal.”

There are probably many more observations of a cotton-candy Christian and a genuine Christian that could be added to this appraisal. Please send your thoughts on this to me. But, for now, I will leave you with this—

Which list more closely describes your faith?

For what it’s worth,

  Gary

Rosa Parks, Tim Tebow, and Cultural Condemnation

rosa parks, civil rights, tim tebow, olivia culpo, communication, loveOn a cold December day, today, 60 years ago, Rosa Parks (Feb. 4, 1913 – Oct. 24, 2005), an African American, in Montgomery, Alabama, refused to give up her seat to a white man in the colored section when the whites-only-section was filled. For this simple act, she was arrested and branded as a criminal. It is without dispute that her courage sparked what we now call the Civil Rights Movement.

 

Our world today would find this action ludicrous. Yet, in American culture of 1955, this was an act of defiance; defiance that declared I am an American too, with rights and responsibilities just like you. And all she did was stand up, or, sit-down, for her right to a seat on a bus. For this, she raised the ire and spite of much of our country.

 

Just this past Thanksgiving, a former Bronco’s QB, Tim Tebow, stood up for his right to refuse to have sex with his now former girlfriend, Olivia Culpo, this year’s reigning Miss Universe. Once again, our nation rises in protest as his Christian faith takes a stand on pre-marital abstinence, in opposition to our pervasive, permissive cultural standard. For this, Tebow has raised the ire and ridicule of a large part of our country.

 

So…, have we really come so far? Comments welcome.

 

 

For what it’s worth,

  Gary

My Apologies to Howard Schultz & STARBUCKS Baristas

starbucks, coffee, christmas, christian, gary, davisDear Howard Schultz (CEO), & Starbucks Baristas everywhere,

By now most of you have heard of the RANTFever that is sweeping our land over your attempt to de-Christianize Christmas on your bright RED holiday cups. I truly am sorry for all this hubbub. It’s just wrong.  “Christians are being persecuted,” some Christians cry! One man, Paul Matthew Turner, on returning from India to the US, remarked somewhat incredulously over all the fuss over the Starbucks stuff. I’ll just quote one of his less vitriol reactions here— “what a shallow, disgusting, and completely moronic portrayal of “faith” this is!” You can read more here—https://www.facebook.com/MPTAuthor?fref=ts

Josh Feuerstein, a Christian protagonist (read Idiot), offers us a more inappropriate response in his simple RANT on his Facebook page—https://www.facebook.com/joshua.feuerstein.5/videos/689569711145714/ Really, watch it to see what NOT to do! And read the first link as well.

What amazes me is that anyone is so surprised in 21st Century America that Starbucks is not overtly “Christian” on its holiday coffee cups! Why should they be? Since when have we been a Christian nation, or Starbucks a Christian business?!? One ABC news commentator (whom I have a secret crush on so will not reveal her name) actually said, “If you want the Starbucks cup to be more Christmasy draw a snowman on it.”

During this Holiday Season, do I expect my Volvo mechanic to stamp my bill with a manger-scene— in red & green? Do I expect my doctor to wish me Merry Christmas; he’s Jewish. (He did anyway. Go figure.) Nor do I expect St. Nick to slide down my chimney. He’d get his butt fried.

I do expect people, at this time of year, to be more joyful, loving, suicidal (I do counseling.), sacrificial, and considerate. I even expect (some) drivers to let me to cut into their lane when I use my turn-signal. It’s just “the Season.”

For Christians everywhere, genuine Christians, not the whatever-they-are Christians, take this Season of the year to honor your neighbors. DO NOT give them a fruit-cake. Don’t be one either. Invite them for Thanksgiving dinner, Christmas dinner, a New Year’s party! Learn to make Wassail together. DRINK Wassail together (hic). Share your family’s celebrations together.

So, dearest Howard Schultz & Starbucks Baristas, THANK YOU for your Red Cups this Season! They’re bright & cheery! I need that. Honestly, I need your coffee just as much. Especially the Gram Latte’s! They’re great! Thank you very much for them.

And, not to be offensive in any way, Merry Christmas to all of you at Starbucks! You’re doing a great job of encouraging a lot of people at this time of year. Particularly me.

…and a Happy New Year, too,

  Gary

winning

Gary, Davis, Gandhi, Winning,

First they ignore you,

then they laugh at you,

then they fight you,

then you win.

~ Mahatma Gandhi

1869 – 1948

I’ve never won much in life. Well, that is, if you consider, kewpie-dolls at the county fair, the first prize in a match-box car race, or a Monopoly game, or certain sports events worth winning; I just don’t seem to be cut out for winning: not, at least, at this level. I’d rather put my time and energy into winning the battle for the souls of men & women, for justice, for clearer communication between peoples who don’t even want to talk with each other, let alone consider loving each other. I’d like to bring peace where there is very little of it: that’s worth winning.

Winning is different for everybody. For some of us, every human exchange is a competitive event:  someone has to win, someone has to lose. These people play their game with every ounce of their strength and will power (in sports, business, simple conversations, or relationships) to win. For three years during college I was on our Debate Team; I never lost even one debate. As I grew in life, after college, a couple graduate programs, & a doctorate, I had to learn how NOT to win. Why? Because I lost too many relationships always trying to win, to be right, to wind up Number ONE. It wasn’t worth it to me.

When our children were in their formative years I used to tell them— If you put yourself on Top, there’s only one direction you can go. If you put yourself on the Bottom, there’s only one direction you can go. ‘Nough said.

So, my question to you is this— What’s worth winning? Is it scoring that winning point in a game? Being summa cum laude at graduation? Becoming Senior Vice-President by age thirty? Or simply driving the coolest car? To be sure there are some things in life worth winning; and, there are some things in life not really worth fighting for. We all need to pick our battles carefully. C a r e f u l l y.

For me, I just want to make a difference in this world before I check out. How about you?

For what it’s worth,

  Gary

Partly Innocent

Gary, Davis, Judge, Christian, Condemn, Innocent, Pure            The Christian process of sanctification, being drawn by God from darkness to brilliance, is a life journey. Yet far too frequently do we judge those who are lagging behind, or who struggle with the same thing year after year. We tend to condemn them more oft than we do forgive them.

Therein lays the puzzle. God has forgiven them yet we continue to pronounce and enforce our own Christian judgement upon them. So…, God may have forgiven them, but we do not? Well, not yet at least. They need to prove themselves worthy of our approval, not just God’s; then maybe we might consideration restoration.

Think of the innocence of a young child—so pure and blameless; so simple in their outlook on life; impressionable, formative in their earliest days. So what impressions do they have of our Christian lives? Do we come across as Holy, Righteous, completely Moral and Upright? I doubt it; but that is the image we want our children to aspire to. Adult Christians can more easily hide their true selves.

The problem with that is that we often fake our righteousness, our faithfulness to the cause of Christ. Want proof? Easy. What percentage of your income do you tithe? Have you been completely pure in your devotion to your husband, your wife? Ever lust? Or maybe you simply judge those who don’t measure up to your standard of outward Christian faith. Quietly, of course. Until there comes a time when you just cannot hold back from sharing something you saw on Facebook or twitter about so&so. Bless your heart!

Our children are certainly partly innocent. In contrast, we are partly guilty. This is not meant to be a condemnation— rather, it is an obvious fact of growing toward maturity in Christ. In the end we must all rely on Christ’s grace and mercy alone.

So the next time you are in a sharing mode, think again about your own stance before the Throne of Grace. Recall that you are still partly guilty yourself. You are, like me, a work in process. Seeking that great day when you find your own sin disgusting.

One finger pointing out the sin in another’s life: three fingers pointing back toward yourself. Remember?

5 You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye,

and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.

~Matthew 7:5

For what it’s worth,

  Gary

(PS, And if you need a reminder, here’s some wisdom from a toddler. )

Response: The Science is IN: God is the Answer

Religion, God, Spirituality, Dr Gary, Davis, Clueless, ChristiansFor people within the sphere of religion, any religion, Brian Bethune’s & Genna Buck’s article The Science is IN: God is the Answer (McCleans, 30 March 2015), comes as no surprise. People raised in secure loving religious homes tend to have greater skills at facing the realities of adulthood. Children raised within this kind of environment tend to be better equipped at re-defining themselves when they reach both puberty and that “ah-ha” moment we now define as “individuation.” i.e. that phase in life wherein a child ceases to define his/her-self in terms of their parent’s values and creates their own value system, beliefs, and life priorities. Granted, this can be a time of trial & error run amuck; but, hey, that’s what growth and transition are all about. If you get it right the first time, you’re holding on way too tight!

            That being stated, I have encountered a LARGE number of twenty-somethings, who come from religious families— conservative Christian, liberal Christian, Jewish, Catholic, Muslim (Sunni/Shiite), and others, who are a psychological mess. Their lives have no borders or boundaries; they can’t make a decision about anything; commitment to anything is terrifying; and their ties to any belief system change hourly. “If you can’t be with the one you love, love the one you’re with.”

            I’m sure Lisa Miller’s (the researcher who studied this topic for 18 years) efforts yielded factually supported data. But I wonder if she ever actually met an adult child from a conservative Christian family? Or Catholic family? Or modern-day Jew? There is very little faith left to their religion. They are, in effect, practical “religious-atheists” who call upon their religious roots in times of disorientation or trouble and then quickly return to their lives as really nice people.

                Our societies search for spirituality outside of faith has only yielded a feel-good-faith; certainly not one that will hold up under the pressure of postChristian non-presuppositions about why it’s not all about me. It is, ya know.

Cinderella

Annie Leibovitz, Courage, Kindness, Gary, Davis, Clueless, Christianity            If you have not seen the 2015 version of Charles Perrault’s book, Cinderella, you need to drag your family to see it as a super family outing. It is amazing. And if you don’t fall head over heels for Lily James there is something wrong with you. ‘Nough said.

The most amazing thing about the production are the two themes that screen writer Chris Weitz has chosen to emphasize— courage and kindness.  These two tracks run throughout the movie as Cinderella tries to cope with the death of her mother, and then her father. Her evil step-mother, played brilliantly by Cate Blanchett, is ‘Ella’s constant nemesis; she remorselessly tries to belittle Ella and turn her into the family servant-girl. Nonetheless, Ella is resilient, and rebuffs her step-mother’s assaults with a silent (mostly) inner determination. In the end, Cinderella marries the Prince and they move into the castle and turn her former domain into a homeless shelter for wayward girls…, or, something like that.  Just go see it.

As for Cinderella’s two guiding principles, bequeathed to her by her dying mother, we would all do well to incorporate them into our own life-principles— courage and kindness. There is so much pain and suffering in our world at present that those who exhibit courage are the ones who will press beyond the hurt and overcome life’s daily adversity. This courage is not just those living in Iraq or Syria, the Ukraine or Libya; many of us in more stable society also suffer from broken lives, broken promises, deaths, and betrayals. We have a choice set before us—  to give into the painful experiences and live a beleaguered life, fraught with disappointment and depression, OR, to face our fears and circumstances with that inner strength we didn’t know we had. That’s courage.

Then there is kindness. Many Christians can muster the wherewithal to become courageous: but to remain imbued with kindness toward others, that comes from a totally different source of strength. Maintaining an active position of kindness in life is no simple task. There are so many things, and people, who can unnerve us, rattle us, and piss us off that we find it almost impossible to be kind to everybody; maybe some, but not to all. Frankly, some people are just plain unlovable; others aren’t worth the effort, let alone treating kindly. But aren’t they exactly the people Christ has called us to love? Aren’t they exactly the kinds of people who need it most?

Just to reinforce this point, you will only need courage when you face genuine adversity. If you remain in a place of safety it is unlikely that you will ever need to call upon Christ for courage. If you surround yourself with people who are nice to be around, you will never need to exhibit true kindness to those less likable, let alone to the mean and difficult to be around.

So, please, let’s not hide in safe, clean castles (or churches) while the world outside is in such filth and pain. We can do so much if we put our hearts and minds to the task. “And lo, I am with you always… .”

For what it’s worth,

  Gary