After There’s Nothing Left: Silence

      What is the point in talking (writing) about soul silence? Isn’t the point to do the opposite— to simply stop talking, writing, doing! To STOP! And to be open to listen to what the Lord God of the universe has to say to you.

Our lives are constantly filled with noise; not just planes and trains and automobiles, but interruptions to our every waking moment. Staying connected to our cell phones, tablets, smart-watches, laptops, Switch, PlayStations…, and the all commanding Internet, has become the bane of the human spirit. We’re always “on,” always connected to noise and the draw of the electronic marketplace. We need things that 10 minutes ago we had never heard of, let alone wanted. We just WANT.

Many of us have fallen into the habit of constantly asking God for things; healing, resolution, forgiveness, mediation, financial security, individual guidance, etc. Sometimes I fall prey to this marketplace approach to God myself. I am not proud of it. Too often am I caught up in this world of things. My soul needs to be silent before God to listen, to hear what HE has to say, to me, individually, alongside what He has already revealed to us in Scripture. There is a great depth of meaning to be considered in “Be still, and know that I am God. [Psalm 46:10]. I am as driven to accomplish as many things as the next guy. But I must force myself, my soul, to be silent. In silence I learn: in busyness I get things done, but I do not renew my soul. Thus—soul silence.

I truly need a spiritual retreat. ASAP. I need to spend significant time alone with God. My brain (and my mouth) is always running. One of the hardest things I do every day is to fall asleep at night. I cannot “shut-off.” Sure, I keep a stack of 3×5 cards and a lite-pen next to my bed; just in case I have an idea that calls me from a deep sleep at 3:00 a.m. But then it is difficult to get back to sleep again.

If I cannot even shut down my brain at night how am I ever going to be able gain enough fortitude and composure to be silent before God?

Soul Silence is something, at least for me, that must become a goal, a concerted effort to come apart from all that calls me to responsibility and productivity (ok, and frivolity) and to calm my soul before the Lord God Creator. I am not a quiet person by nature. My wife, Starr, says I am too BIG. In public settings she often will squeeze her two fingers in a secret sign between us, meaning, “Be smaller.” Hummmm. For her, being silent before God is a way of life; for me, not so much. I worship God through music, blasting praise as loud as society will allow me without getting arrested. I worship BIG, like the rest of me.

So I am learning to be still and know that I am God alongside many others, maybe you. Kudos to those who are already there. For me, silence is work.

Honor God, honor people, & be quiet,

Gary

Dr. Gary Davis, President

NEXT— After There’s Nothing Left—Learning Silence

After There’s Nothing Left: The Incredible Lightness of Being

      In 1988 the movie The Unbearable Lightness of Being was released. It was a love story, of sorts; a sad one, to be sure. But the title lends itself in our understanding of depression and the importance of soul clarity. Contrary to the beliefs of Albert Camus, Jean-Paul Sartre and other existentialists, clear sight does not flow out of the depths of despair. Rather, it comes with the forgiveness and the freedom experienced in the releasing of your soul, the cleansing of your life of all the grime and evil that has taken up residence. Clearing-out of all such added weight of depression and despair frees the soul to a level best described as an incredible lightness of being.

      This is not to say that some of life’s residual grunge will not cling to you. It will. And you will be tempted to return to it at times. (Remember the dog-to-the-vomit metaphor.) But as more muck is shed, the lightness of your being is able to rise above the din of your past to see your future more clearly. Of course, this can only be attained if you decide to discard the muck. Soul cleansing is no one-time event. You will find yourself doing it throughout your life’s journey.

      If you sense a loss of perspective and clarity along the way, it may be time for some de-mucking again.

      For a clear Biblical framework of soul clarity, I would refer you to 2 Peter 1:1-11.  In this one paragraph we find the sequence of characteristics that must come into play if we are ever to see things clearly. Please read this paragraph with some diligence and inquisitiveness—

 From: Simon Peter, a bond-servant and apostle of Jesus Christ,

To those who have received a faith of the same kind as ours, by the righteousness of our God and Savior, Jesus Christ: Grace and peace be multiplied to you in the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord; seeing that His divine power has granted to us everything pertaining to life and godliness, through the true knowledge of Him who called us by His own glory and excellence. For by these He has granted to us His precious and magnificent promises, so that by them you may become partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world by lust.   Now for this very reason also, applying all diligence, in your faith supply moral excellence, and in your moral excellence, knowledge, and in your knowledge, self-control, and in your self-control, perseverance, and in your perseverance, godliness, and in your godliness, brotherly kindness, and in your brotherly kindness, love. For if these qualities are yours and are increasing, they render you neither useless nor unfruitful in the true knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. For he who lacks these qualities is blind or short-sighted, having forgotten his purification from his former sins. 10 Therefore, brethren, be all the more diligent to make certain about His calling and choosing you; for as long as you practice these things, you will never stumble; 11 for in this way the entrance into the eternal kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ will be abundantly supplied to you.

[New American Standard Bible, 1963-71]

This sequence—  faith + moral excellence + knowledge + self-control + perseverance + godliness + brotherly kindness + love = clear vision and long range sight. This sequence will naturally lead to soul/whole clarity. Why? Because you have regained a sense of purpose and are making a difference.

 8 For if these qualities are yours and are increasing, they render you neither useless nor unfruitful in the true knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.

A lot of soul-searching must proceed the stillness of a heart resting in itself, in God, and in the confidence that you are doing what you are designed to do.

Honor God, honor people, & be a pain in Satan’s ass,

Gary

Dr. Gary Davis, President

NEXT— After There’s Nothing Left— silence.

After There’s Nothing Left: Digging Through the Dirt

Shovel in Dirt

         Scrutinizing who you are as a person will create a richer point-of-clarification of who you are to yourself and to those around you.

        This point-of-clarification happened to me somewhere between ages 38-40. My wife and I had just gone through some of the most devastating experiences of our lives— the loss of a pregnancy, the loss of a livelihood, the loss of close friends and coworkers. Add to that my impending surgery for TMJ (Temporo-Mandibular Joint Disorder), which turned out to be very painful, and you can imagine our distress and discouragement. We were at the bottom of our lives. It became apparent that I had given up on living any kind of productive, useful, (let alone) creative life ever again.

      But, somewhere in the latter portion of my 39th year of life I got mad, really mad— at myself and at the world around me. I fought every corner of myself, and a few other nay-sayers, to make a difference in this world. Again. What happened next astounded even me. My wife and I founded NEEDinc. Initially an evangelistic ministry that “tailor made” an evangelistic approach more suitable to our New England environment and culture.

      I was alive again! My soul refreshed, my vision clear, my purpose rising ahead of me. I committed myself and all that we had to this new venture of training Christians to make sense of evangelism in the new, emerging postModern/postChristian world.

      Soul Confession behind me, I began digging in the dirt clarifying what I was all about. For Soul Clarity involves a focus on a future path, of how and where to expend energy. It asks questions like—

What am I designed to do in the next phase of my life?

Where does God want me to spend my strength to make the most difference?

      Everyone will come to a point in their journey where the question of what NOT to do is as important as what TO DO. Options DO change as wisdom increases and strength diminishes. Again, seeking the perspective of others who know you seems an advisable path.

      Having founded and incorporated NEEDinc, we next constructed a Board of Directors. From Day One, NEED’s Board of Directors has provided me with consistent guidance that has kept me on the straight & narrow. Ok, not so straight, definitely not narrow, but definitively on a path which fulfilled the Mission of NEEDinc, and suited God’s design upon me, my strength level, and a course of action that kept me on track. Thank God for the critiques, criticism, caring, and cautions of friends!

      For the only ways to clarify what you are designed for is—

  1. To take risks, in fear & faith.
  2. To listen carefully to the advice and criticism of those who know you best. (Including testing.)
  3. Assess whether what you believe about yourself is proven accurate in the evaluations of your efforts.
  4. In the affirmation that comes directly from the God who created you.

      Soul Clarity works in two ways: first, to wash clean all the junk that has clouded your vision for so long; and, second, to grant you clear vision and long range sight. (2 Peter 1:11). Still, I must add that you will not continue to see things clearly if you clutter your purpose or cloud your vision with peripheral projects. There are many good and great things you can do. But what is the ONE THING you MUST do, no matter what? THAT is the question. Or, that is THE question we all must answer if we are to have a purpose for our existence.

      Some lingering depression may still be there; but it will be couched in a revitalized purpose.

Digging deeper,

Gary

Dr. Gary Davis, President

NEXT— After There’s Nothing Left— the incredible lightness of being.

After There’s Nothing Left: An Intermission – ’twas the Night before Christmas

‘Twas the night before Christmas,

when all thro’ the house,
Not a creature was stirring,

not even a mouse;

      This past Sunday we celebrated the fourth Sunday in Advent by lighting the Peace candle on our dining room table.

      This tradition is a good reminder that Christ came into this world to bring peace to all. In a very real sense He has passed that privilege on to us. So as we sit around a Christmas tree of sing Christmas Carols, let us all re-commit ourselves to being peacemakers in this world. Christmas is not about us, even though we give wonderful gifts to one another. It’s about the Lord God of the universe coming to this planet to inaugurate a new beginning for us all.

      So remember, the night before Christmas, when all thro’ the house, not a creature was stirring, it’s probably because we are all so dead tired from decorating, cooking, baking, shopping, or remembering that one thing we forgot. We need to take a breather and quietly reflect before our Christmas trees what is the reason for the season.

  • It is walking within our world because He came to do the same.
  • It is genuinely loving the people around us because He first loved us.
  • It is committing to sacrifice…, again.
  • It is giving to the homeless, the sick, the elderly, and those less blessed than us, like He did.
  • It is bringing hopefaithjoypeace…, and Christ to those who do not have a clue.

      The night before Christmas could be a time of recommitment to those things that should truly matter in your life. It should be a time to count your blessings and to bless others. It should be a time when you finally shut down, take a deep breath, a sip on some eggnog, and thank God for the life you have lived thus far.

      We will be doing so; come join us…, wherever you live.

      For there certainly is more to come.

For to us a child is born,
to us a son is given;
and the government shall be upon[a] his shoulder,
and his name shall be called[b]
Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,
Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.
~Isaiah 9:6

Merry Christmas, & peace on the earth,

Gary

Dr. Gary Davis, President

NEXT— INTERMISSION— the space between us

After There’s Nothing Left: An Intermission: Letting Go

2020 has been a year of hardships and sadness for too many of us around the world. Some of us have been through the horror of COVID19 and lived to tell about it. Others…, not so much. We’ve had to learn to let go of them. And, yes, it was painful.

     And it’s not over yet. There is more pain to come. And more sorrow. And more death.

     With this cheery intro I want to direct you to a question— What is it you need to let go? Decide now. Then hang on to what is more important, most precious, and most loved.

      But what if…? How will you handle it if your wife, your husband gets COVID? Or one of your kids? What if someone you love dies? These are serious questions in serious times.

      The issue, I believe, comes down to this. What do you have to rely on in these unstable economic days, in the uncertain times of COVID and death?

      It often seems that we hang onto things far too tightly. I’ve found that what I thought I needed when I was younger, I realized later I only wanted. Then as I matured (stop laughing) the things I thought I wanted I didn’t want, or need, at all.

      It’s all about relinquishing that desire to have MORE. MORE. Isn’t it time we all thought of a little sacrifice? Of giving to those in need.

      I’ve often tried to imagine the conversation that must have taken place in heaven prior to Jesus’ birth on earth. “Now as you descend to earth, my Son, you will be greeted by cows, and ox, and chickens. There will be a few humans there as well. Obviously, Joseph and young Mary, your mother. A few shepherds will trickle in throughout the night.

      “They will find you in a barn-like lean-to, lying in an animal feeding trough on a swath of hay, which I will prevent them from eating.

      “For the next 30 or-so years you will learn to work with your hands. Following which you will begin your short 3 year ministry to draw people back to Me. Most of your own kind will reject you. Actually, they will hand you over to their conquering overlords to be executed.

      “But not to worry…, I have a greater plan for you, and for them.

      “Now get going.”

      I wonder if Jesus had a hard time letting go?!?

Honor God, honor people, make a difference,

Gary

Dr. Gary Davis, President

NEXT— INTERMISSION— the Adventure of Advent

After There’s Nothing Left: An Intermission – Thankful

It was the best of times. It was the worst of times.” Thus began Charles Dickens novel about the French Revolution in March, 1859. A Tale of Two Cities. Those were tragic times to be sure; but minus the guillotine, we live in just as perilous times today. Heads aren’t rolling, but this COVID19 virus is ending the lives of too many people and disrupting the lives of millions more.

      If its’s hard to find something to be thankful for these days let me offer you some things to be thankful for.

  • Your life. Ask, why am I still alive when so many are dying? Good question, isn’t it?
  • Your family. Kids can drive you crazy, true. But they are a gift from God. Honor them. So are parents and in-laws, cousins and grandparents. Honor them too.
  • Friends, especially the kind you can say anything to. They too are a gift from God.
  • Food on the table. Though many will go hungry this Thanksgiving, you will be blessed. Give.
  • A roof over our head. So remember those in your community who are homeless. And do something.
  • Those who paved the way before you. You owe them mucho thanks.
  • If you are a follower of Jesus Christ, be thankful for his salvation. You know you don’t deserve it.

Starr and I want you to know that we are very thankful for you, who actually take the time to read my scribblings. And we are thankful for those of you who don’t have a clue of what I’m talking about. Thank you for being there, for being you. We are so thankful for you.

      23 For I received from the Lord what I also delivered to you, that the Lord Jesus on the night when he was betrayed took bread, 24 and when he had given thanks, he broke it, and said, “This is my body, which is for[f] you. Do this in remembrance of me.”[g] 25 In the same way also he took the cup, after supper, saying, “This cup is the new covenant in my blood. Do this, as often as you drink it, in remembrance of me.” 26 For as often as you eat this bread and drink the cup, you proclaim the Lord’s death until he comes. ~1 Corinthians 11:23-26 (ESV)

      If Jesus could take the time to give thanks to the Father for this last supper he would have with his disciples, his friends, knowing the cross that lay before him the next day, couldn’t we also, in our “worst of days” give God the thanks he deserves.

      Happy Thanksgiving!

Honor God, honor people, and thank you…, so much,
Gary

Dr. Gary Davis, President

NEXT— INTERMISSION— caregiving

After There’s Nothing Left: An Intermission

popcorn

If you have grappled with any of the issues in these posts (book) so far you might want to take a break at this point. This might be especially true if you are in a critical place in your life, a tipping point, but without hope. I have found through my own emptiness that you cannot, should not, continue with self-analysis and pondering 24/7. To do so depletes your strength and creates fearful concerns where none may be warranted.

     Most of us have a tendency to over-analyze. Then we over-analyze again, rolling around the data, the experiences, and interpersonal relationships in our heads to a fault. Too often, resulting in depression and loss of stability.

     So take a break. Process what you’ve read so far.

     I need a break. You probably do too. Dealing with depression and recovering your soul are not easy topics to dwell on for too long. Unless, of course, you are a counselor or psychologist, and it is your job.

      So for the next two months These posts will address the issues of this Thanksgiving and Christmas Season. There are other things we need to consider and set aside time and energy to ponder. Some of the ideas I want to look at are—

  • Kindness
  • Caregiving
  • Being loving
  • Thanksgiving
  • Transitions in Life
  • Dealing with Your Past
  • Letting go
  • Crazy Celebration

      Many of the people we know will find Thanksgiving and Christmas quite difficult times to live through. So let’s get down to the business of loving them in ways that reflect Christ, make a difference, and make sense.

Honor God, honor people, make a difference,

Gary

Dr. Gary Davis, President

NEXT— INTERMISSION— kindness

After There’s Nothing Left: What Forges Forgiveness?

forging, forgivenessThe title of this subsection is not merely titled for the sake of alliteration. Rather, it is a serious question around a quite somber difficulty for many, many people. Forgiveness. In general, people find it difficult to forgive; conversely, unless in a court of law, to receive forgiveness.

      Forgiveness is something that is forged, like a steel blade tempered in the fire, heated to the point of meltdown, then hammered to utility on an anvil. Finally, it is sharpened to perfection at the hand of a master sword-maker. So also is forgiveness. It does not simply show up. It goes through testing, hammering, reheating, reworking, and sharpening. Then, when its work is accomplished, it becomes one of the most powerful spiritual weapons anyone might possess. The admission that you are forgiven, truly, by the Lord God Creator of the Universe, is to realize that you can risk your life more than you ever deemed possible. To be forgiven is to be empowered by God to make a difference. (It is also quite a countermeasure against depression and defeat.)

      There are a myriad of aspects to forgiveness that could be considered here. But I will limit our discussion to only five. Here are the first two.

Forgiveness for Others

      Though we are admonished to forgive those who have wronged us it is not quite as simple as that. Some of those wrongs have wreaked havoc with our lives, our livelihood, our families, and our financial security. Forgiveness often takes quite an extended period of time. Here then, again, is the matter of trust. Can we ever trust the other person(s) again? That is a much larger issue. Mix in a reality that some people who have wronged us believe they have done NO wrong: they believe they were righteous and right in their pronouncement of judgment upon us. They were justified in what they did or said. Can/should we forgive those who have not come to repentance before us, let alone before the God of the Universe?

      It is extremely hard to forgive others…, especially if you believe they are in the wrong. Conundrum.

      I believe forgiveness of others can only be fête accompli thru true humility and contrition; a willingness to take the lower place, even if the other party or person is clearly in the wrong. This is not to say that your forgiveness is ignorant of the facts. Rather, it chooses to take the subservient position for the sake of resolution, of restitution.

      At times, it may be the case, that you are unable to extend forgiveness to another. This is usually reflective of a long-standing, deep-seated pattern of being betrayed or hurt by others who did not seek your forgiveness. Or, it could also mean you are just so mad at present, that you are still out for vengeance and/or revenge. Seriously, not quite healthy all the way around. Nonetheless, you need to deal with your anger/grief and come to a point of genuine, heartfelt forgiveness…, no matter how long it takes. It rests on you to take the higher ground. If you cannot, or will not, forgive, how will you ever receive it from others? How will you receive it from God?

Forgiveness from Others

      There isn’t one of us who hasn’t hurt another person. Accidentally, thoughtlessly, casually, or intentionally, we all have inflicted wounds on one another. Some wounds we inflict are intentional. Retaliation. Revenge. Reprisal. And we know we are doing it. If there ever were an instance of moving over to the dark-side, this would describe it; the deliberate act of hurting another.

      But our confusion arises when the one we have wronged comes to forgive us. What will we do?

      It comes down to an issue of individual arrogance. If someone offers you forgiveness the implication is that you have done something wrong. Of course, if this is true…, you don’t want to be reminded of it. If you DO receive their forgiveness, then you find yourself in an awkward spot. You’ve received forgiveness, admitting your evil intention, and now… what? Feels squeamish, doesn’t it.

      May I suggest that you admit your wrongness and simply say “thank you.” Or, “Thank you. I hope you can forgive me. How do we move beyond this?”

      Inversely, if you cannot receive forgiveness, how will you ever extend it to other people?

Honor God, honor people, make a difference,

Gary

Dr. Gary Davis, President

[note: you may never come to a place of forgiving another person without the assistance of the God who made you. It sounds trite, but I have found that the bond I have with Jesus Christ has done more to enable me to forgive another person than I imagined possible.]

NEXT— After There’s Nothing Left— forgiveness for myself, for God, and from God

After There’s Nothing Left: This Gets Personal

There is a line from Shakespeare that reads “How do I love thee…, let me count the ways.” In an oddly related way, this is how I often think when I ponder my own sin(s). Here is a list of some of the areas where I have struggled.

  1. A Need for Significance. For me, this has not been as much a need to control, to be in charge, as a need to make a difference. To be sure, nothing is wrong with this. Nonetheless, when it becomes a compulsion it ceases to be a gift to enjoy and is degraded to a self-promotional lust for influence.
  2. A Desire to have the Best. Have I mentioned I like Volvos? A well equipped XC60 with heated-massaging seats and all the goodies to bathe you in luxury. Then there are well made watches— Patek Philippe, Breitling. True representations of God’s handiwork in creation. Or, so I tell myself.
  3. A Sense of Self-Worth. Too often has the value of myself come from what I’ve done and the things I possess. But accomplishments and possessions weigh in very lightly in the grand scheme of the universe. My self-worth is turning out to be what I pass on to others.
  4. Aloneness. Throughout my life I have been in leadership positions. I have become self-sufficient in many ways. Although, in recent years, I find myself surrounded by a host of people to whom I can delegate much of the responsibilities of leadership. Nonetheless, I find myself feeling terribly alone far too often. It is not the case; I know that. My aloneness is an irrational feeling of isolation which leaves me in a state of despondency and depression. It is a struggle.
  5. Sexual fantasy. In a sense, I’ve told you nothing. What man does not struggle with this!?! For many this can be the same as drug addiction, or alcoholism. That was what it was like for me for many years. Now, not so much. But remember, I am a man just past 75 (stop laughing). If you are reading this in your 20s or 30s, it is still, probably, a very strong siren yowling in your heart and head. Do not let it take over your very being. Its cost…, could be your future.

      These things drain my soul. There will be similar things in your life that will drain your soul. So when you find yourself drowning in self-pity and depression, you should probably do a lot of soul searching. But you may also throw guilt on yourself as a way of understanding your failure. In reality you may or may not be guilty.

      Remember, our Lord is overflowing with compassion and forgiveness. He only calls to us to turn to him… and ask.

Honor God, honor people, make a difference,

Gary

Dr. Gary Davis, President

NEXT— After There’s Nothing Left— what forges forgiveness?

Things that keep me from fulfilling God’s design.

Continuing, there are a number of things that are at war within my soul to prevent me from fulfilling God’s design for my life. Maybe you have some of the same.

  1. Doubts. The Christian faith is, well, exactly that— faith. As a former philosophy major I know full well that there are a number of things in our experience that cannot be verified. Faith is one of them. So also are love, history, time & space, and an after-life. To be sure there is evidence for their existence, but no empirically verifiable proof. Thus, I could be wrong about this whole God thing. But I do not believe so.

      I have come to realize that empirically the most anyone can hope for is certitude, not certainty. Even in the sciences there is more faith than we might imagine. Get used to it. The more we examine a thing the more we influence its behavior. And this raises the level of doubt we have about the accuracy of our findings. My faith truly is faith. So at times I fall into a sea of uncertainty and doubt. Is this all real? I hope so; truly, I hope so.

  1. Fear. Flowing out of Doubt is Fear. Intensive doubt leads to fear. Irrational fear, in my case. As I have written these pages I have faced fear as I have not known before. Not of any specific thing, just fear. For many others, their whole lives are gripped by fear! They live nary a moment absent of genuine, all-consuming fear. Fear of going outside. Fear of groups. Fear of driving on a freeway. Fear of others. Fear of being known. Fear of failure. Fear of being wrong. Fear of never being good enough. Fear blinds people of seeing what it is God has for them. It binds them in boxes too small for God’s plan for them. So they settle into those boxes and dare not to look beyond. They lose so much.

      Fear can be overcome; but it is not a comfortable climb out of that box. It is a considerable challenge. You will need someone with a rope, a guidebook, a gentle hand, a commanding, encouraging voice. And someone to give you a push through. But anything, ANYTHING, is better than the confinement in your box of fear.

  1. Arrogance. I’ve often found myself arrogant, too full of myself, to listen to others. (Others have mentioned this to me with little subtlety.) I’ve stubbornly stuck to my own way of doing things that just could not work. But it was my way. I lost a lot of friends acting this way. I also failed a lot more than I needed to. If only I had listened. But, no, I knew it all. It has taken me a long time to learn the words, “I was wrong. Forgive me. Are you still willing to help me?” Arrogance is simply an admission that we are insecure and therefore we must know everything; thus, we don’t even ask for the simplest of directions. Directions to a location, how to sew on a button, how to repair a lawn mower, or how to mend a damaged relationship.

      It takes a strong person to overcome arrogance. A kind of self-blindness comes with arrogance that prevents us from seeing anything from any other viewpoint other than our own. Some of us don’t even want to hear, let alone consider, another opinion, another way of approaching a problem or situation. We dig in our heels and insist on our way, period. If our souls are ever to truly rest then we must give up our arrogance and become part of the human family: not as its center, but as a fellow traveler, learning from others who are much further along in their journeys than we might be. I’ve learned this the hard way. DO NOT follow in my footsteps.

  1. Disapproval from Others. Let’s be honest, we all want the approval and acceptance of family, friends, work associates, and from those who lead in whatever field of common interest where we invest our lives. This is a normal part of socialization. We want to be a part of something: it’s called being in community. In many ways human beings are defined by their inter-connectedness, their histories, their commonalities, their family & kinships, their relationships…, everywhere. So when we come up against the disapproval of someone important to us, it is a mortal blow. We feel less of a person, unacceptable, at least for the time being, if not permanently. A simple parental “No” to some children will shatter them to the core of their being. For other kids, it will present a challenge to circumvent in some clever, devious way. We are all so very different when it comes to disapproval.

      Most of my life I have met with disapproval in seemingly larger doses than normal. My father rarely approved of anything I did. In his eyes I could not even cut the grass right. When I bought my first car, a Volvo PV544, I was realigning the steering wheel when he screamed obscenities at me to let the entire neighborhood know that I could not do anything, ANYTHING, right. I knew right then and there that I would be on my own in life. During my college days my academic advisor encouraged me to drop out. “You’ll just never make the grade or measure up.” So encouraging. ( I completed my first Masters Degree before he did.) In my first professional job I was informed that I would need very close supervision. This devastated my confidence about ever getting things right. Then again, I saw my immediate supervisor three times that first year, once the second year, and only twice the third year. Odd definition of “close supervision.” I thought. I just kept pressing on and getting the job done.

      My personal need for the approval of others has faded over time. I still like to have people approve of me; I just don’t need it. Approval or disapproval have been supplanted by knowing who I am and knowing what it is I am supposed to be doing on this planet. I know God’s design for me. Do you?

      It’s really quite refreshing. Soul-lifting, actually.

      There are a couple more things that keep me from fulfilling God’s design on my life. Thus, plunging me into further depression. Therefore, sadly, there will be a section “c” to this present section.

Honor God, honor people, make a difference,
Gary
Dr. Gary Davis, President

NEXT— After There’s Nothing Left— Confession- a way out of depression