Tag: personality

Challenging Challenges- Getting in the way of Yourself

    

    Far too often we get in the way of ourselves. Whether it be a big boisterous personality, a shy reticent more introverted one, or simply a bitter demeanor, our true passion in life is overshadowed by a persona other than who we truly are.

     Ask me how I know.

     The challenge for us is to become who we genuinely are both inside and outside. Not that we wear our hearts on our sleeves, but that there is generally a match between what people see is what they get.

     Let me explain. For most of my youth I huddled alone in our basement building models of the military industrial complex of WWII. I preferred being alone. Then, during the 2nd half of my sophomore year of college, shortly following my conversion to Christianity, my personality totally flipped. I became a total flamboyant extrovert. It was weird. Most of my friends thought I had gone completely berserk.

     What I needed to learn was to allow God to sculpt me, in each phase of my life, into whatever shape and personality He needed me to be. And my clay was not that pliable.

     Now, years later, I seem to be retiring into introversion. Hummm.

     I used to teach a course titled How Your Personality Filters your Faith. Simply put, God fashions our personalities to fit His purposes for every season of our lives. Our job is to make sure we don’t get in the way of ourselves OR who our Creator is molding us to be. When Scripture says we are fearfully and wonderfully made, [Psalm 139:14] [this should have included the admittance that we do not like to be fearfully and wonderfully made without our consent.] We are a stubborn creation.

     What are some of the ways we can overcome this natural inclination to fight God’s remaking of us? How can we stop getting in the way of ourselves? Some ideas on how to do that might be—

–  Think before you respond.

–  Listen more than you talk.

–  Ask a friend how you come across. Be sure you are sitting down when they tell you.

–  Ask God about His design for you in this phase of your life.

–  STOP all the frantic running around.

–  Be still…, and know that I am God. [Psalm 46:10] Meaning, stop trying to be god.

     Remember that our Lord can honor you and make use of you in whatever your circumstances. Just the way you are. Mostly. [Although some of us need to clean out a bit of our BS.] Then again, He may choose to remake you completely. Ask me how I know.

      Christ has made all of us for a purpose. Do you know what yours is? What can you learn about it from your situation, your personality, your weaknesses, and your strengths?

“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” [2 Corinthians 12:9]

     Just don’t back your own car over yourself when you are supposed to be going forward.

Honor God, honor people, make a difference,

Gary

Dr. Gary Davis, President

NEXT— Genuine Commitment.

You are how you love

love games. Dr gary davis, clueless, christian, relationships, personality Love is a peculiar thing. Every individual has their own Love Language. Gary Chapman categorized The Five Love Languages (1995) for us—

  • Words of Affirmation
  • Acts of Service
  • Receiving (giving) Gifts
  • Quality Time
  • Physical Touch

Most of us fit into one (or more) of these five ways of wanting to be loved.

Our personalities have a great deal to do with the way we want to be loved…, and how we love. [If you have not thought much about your personality I encourage to take these two “personality identifier” tests. The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator test (the MBTI) here— http://www.personalitypathways.com/type_inventory.html, and the DISC test here— https://discpersonalitytesting.com/free-disc-test/ . They are great fun and quite informative. Enjoy! And don’t copy.] Learning how to love another person is just as important as actually loving them.

If you truly want to know how to love another person put your agenda aside and observe the other; a.k.a.- learn their ways. What do you see? Do they like heat? Chocolate? Tech stuff? Promptness? Silence? A good book? Vegan? A good steak? Honesty and transparency? Time alone? Or, time outside…, wandering? Putting out some effort to discover how another person wants to be loved is one of the clearest indications of genuine love.

When my wife and I were first married, I would often buy her quite nice articles of clothing. No response. It took me a good five years to learn that she did not care that much for clothes, style, “outfits,” etc. She loved books. Once I even snatched a bundle of her books, took them to a book store and asked “What are these and do you have any more like them?” I bought her a book. She was elated!

I was loving her the way I would want to be loved, not the way she wanted to be loved. The same goes for friends and fellow employees. Before you give your friend a box of Havana’s, better find out if he smokes. If you want to give your boss a nice pen, better find out if she even uses one…, or constantly loses them.

Our personalities and preferences hold great sway over the way we love other people. We need to learn how to love them the way they want to be loved— in a safe other-centered way. Furthermore, if I might add, do not love expecting anything in return. For if you love to provoke a love-response from the other you are, in truth, loving yourself. You may want or need their love but do not love them to get it. Love them selflessly, expecting nothing in return. That is truly LOVE.

Your personality does have a lot to do with the way you love people, how you love them. Get a grip on your personality. If you do not want to take a test, ask your friends the brutally honest question, “How do I come across to you? To other people?” Give some diligent consideration to what they say. O, hell, take the test anyway. It’s fun. Do it in a group with goodies to munch during the subsequent discussion.

You truly ARE how you love. Learn what that means.

NEXT DISCUSSION:  LOVE HURTS!

 Now buying my wife British murder-mystery novels,

Gary

Beyond Words: Take 4 – A Personality Specific Faith

Larson personalityIn this edition of Beyond Words let’s look at how your personality filters your faith.

My wife is sitting across from me just opening a medium-size bag of M&Ms. Different colors on the outside and consistently the same within. Very much like our world’s Christ-followers. Sometimes, even with a few nuts thrown in for variety.

Not all Christians are alike. Not all expressions of our faith are alike. Not all people are alike. Kind of like stating the obvious, isn’t it.

Yet within the decreasing influence of Western Christendom we try to maintain a boring sameness in our faith as is impossible. The reality of divergent races, cultures, and personalities should be obvious. We are all not one. We are a complex multiplicity of beings with a common commitment to Jesus Christ.

Thankfully, we live in an era where some really smart people have done some deep research on the different kinds of people we are. Isabel Briggs Myers and Katherine Cook Myers began their research in 1917, which culminated in the Myers-Briggs (Personality) Type Indicator Test in 1956 (MBTI). You can take a simplified FREE version of the Test here—

https://www.16personalities.com/free-personality-test

The observable reality that we each have a distinct personality is a great gift from God. For Christians, it means that the gospel can take on different shapes and nuances across a broad spectrum of races, cultures, and divergent personalities. We don’t all have to be the same. Even better, none of you have to be likeme. [Phew!]

You see, when God created us He intentionally built into us divergent dispositions to reflect the majesty of His glory. Thus, we are NOT all the same; nor should we be. If we were, it would be an admission that people are unilaterally boring and that the Lord God Creator of the universe is, in fact, not all that creative.

The myriad of different cultures and human personality traits is proof of exactly the opposite. Therefore we should also expect a plethora of different kinds of Christians— quiet, contemplative, sensitive, exuberant, and nuts. This must be so because the majesty and diversity of the Trinity imprints upon us, not in a manner to rob us of who God has made us, but to empower us within our specific personality design. What a gift!

So, get used to being you, trying to offend as few as possible. You have been designed the way you are for a reason; find out what it is.

For what it’s worth,

Gary