Getting lost

Most of us, at some time or another, will get lost. It may be as simple as getting lost on back roads or forgetting where your glasses are; or, more seriously, getting lost in life; that is, losing your sense of direction, purpose, and/or identity. In short, you no longer know where you are, who you are, or where you are heading.

A dead stop.

In the midst of that empty confusion certain questions start to arise—

How did I get here? What could I have done differently? How do I start to dig out of this mess? More importantly— How do I find myself again? Who am I now? What do I do next?

Anxiety starts to immobilize your spirit; you cannot take any action for fear of further failure. But you have to do something. Anything! Here are some of the things I’ve done when I’ve gotten lost.

1. I start taking small steps. What are the little things you can definitely accomplish that will bring some semblance of stability or order to your life? Do that. Then do another one.

2. Keep in mind that when you are lost everything is a risk. Things you used to do as a simple matter have now morphed into insurmountable monsters. Nonetheless, you must face those monsters to overcome them. I had to. And I corralled a cadre of friends to stand by me as I faced them.

3. Don’t ask God to do for you what you must do yourself. He is definitely in charge. But we are not mindless robots. He expects us to act responsibly with the time He has given us.

4. God can’t direct a parked car. Start moving. If it’s in the wrong direction, He’ll redirect you.

5. Establish NEW points of reference for your journey. The former points of reference are gone; you’ve already passed them. If you want to find your way again, you’ll need to discover a whole new set of reference points to guide you. I find I need to cut back on my activities to give my mind, and heart, time to process the mental & emotional shift. What will most likely be the next sign along your path that you are getting back on track?

With all the variables we have to juggle these days it’s easy to get lost along the way. You have to work hard to get back on track. So get to it. Drive! You will not stay lost for long. [Proverbs 16:3.]

Honor God, honor people…, make a path,

Gary

Groundhog Insurrection

After this past week of weather catastrophes it seemed a propitious time for a little fun. So let’s start with this odd question— What kind of culture could ever choose a Ground-hog’s emergence from his burrow and turn it into a national event?!? I mean, really!?!

Well…, that would be the United States. No other nation would use free-speech so frivolously. Nonetheless, in the northern hemisphere, it is the dead of winter. It’s dreary. It’s Sno-maggedon. Depressing. SAD, Seasonal Affective Disorder, blankets every city, county, and state. It’s a wonder we get through it at all. But we do have our skiing, snow-boarding, winter camping…, and warm fires, and hot chocolate, not to mention hot-tubs in the snow; 12+” more today. AND, Punxsutawney Phil, or Pete, or whoever it is now. Patricia? NAH! Real men would never stand for it.

First celebrated in Morgantown, PA (1841) on Candlemas Day, Groundhog Day was the forecaster of a second bout of winter or the heralding of an early Spring, depending on whether the little rodent saw his shadow. But earlier forms of GhD have been noted in both Germany & Scotland, two countries which definitely need an early Spring.

In my winters, getting out of bed in the dark just seems wrong. The cold, I can take. The snow, I love! But early mornings…, in the dark of winter! Not so much. What does get my warm feet on the cold floor is the thought that, today, I may just make a difference in someone else’s life. Right before the blizzard hit last week I handed a $20 bill to a homeless person. She looked up at me with tears in her eyes and said, “Thank you. I’m going to go get something to eat, now.”

Maybe we can’t change the weather with our actions, but we can most definitely change other things. Might I suggest we start with ourselves— then move on to help others grow. Small acts are sometimes quite significant in the lives of others.

What can you do today to improve another person’s life? Not to feel good about yourself, or for some kind of recognition; simply do something for someone else because it’s the right thing to do.

So venture forth, Punxsutawney Phil, it’s a new day! You work on Spring: We’ll work on today, and tomorrow, and the day after that. Stay calm; and dig out…, again.

Honor God, honor people…, make a difference,

Gary

Superbowl Insanity

Is it really that time of year?!? Amidst the swirl of inevitable controversies, we again face an evening of raucous TV, snacks which are hazardous to your health, and the consumption of way too much alcohol. And that’s before the game starts.

It’s the SUPERBOWL! XLIX, which is ancient Latin meaning xlix, pronounced ex-licks, which refers to your condition after you’re put too much Tabasco sauce on your hot dog.

The thing is, most (many, some, few) Americans find this football game the only thing to look forward to in the midst of a freezing-cold winter. But at a ticket cost between $7,000 and $18,120.00, it just might put a chill on some of your friendships. [These are pre-scalping, official prices.] So, you get to squander your money alone.

So what’s it all about? Sports, yes. Fans, yes. Big money, most definitely. But what else? It’s the best-of-the-best competing on a national scale to claim the title CHAMPION. Somewhat like the ancient Olympic Games; more like the Roman Coliseum, gladiators & all; except with a half-time show.

I admit to being one of those raucous fans who is a dedicated follower of the New England Patriots (Selah). I save the prohibitive entrance fee by sitting in our “Fire-Room” watching the game in front of a toasty warm (HOT!) wood-stove. Usually in shorts. It’s -5° outside: 89° in the fire room. Nonetheless, all the hoopla and hype leading up to the game, not to mention those incredible commercials, draw me in like I was sitting behind the wheel of a Bugatti Veyron at 200 mph.

But what has all this to do with real life; with the everyday rhythm we fall into as a necessity to survive and flourish? It raises a major question for us all— What draws us to our feet in excitement and passion? What, who, is worth rooting for in life? Who are the real heroes, the champions of our lives? And the all-time BIG question—

For what (or who) are we giving our lives?

None of us is an island; although self-sufficiency remains one of the primary American values. We want to believe we are the Masters of our ship, the captains of our fate. The reality is we all live in a global community that needs each person to contribute their unique talents, skills, and personality. And your role is…?

So, enjoy the Super Bowl. But remember to come back into the fray and make a difference when it’s all over. Go Pats!!!

For what it’s worth,

Gary

Formidable Force

“Love is a Force more Formidable than any other. It is invisible— it cannot be seen or measured, yet it is powerful to transform you in a moment, and offer you more joy than any material possession could.”

~ Barbara De Angelis

Formidable Force.

What do you think of when your mind searches within for a symbol of Formidable Force? My first thoughts were of a Roman Phalanx, the Mongols, the USS Nimitz, and even the U.S. Congress— all formidable forces to be reckoned with. Each held/holds power in their own way— mostly military. But there are other more formidable forces in our scope of existence to which we must always give heed. Gravity comes to mind, first. Here are some others—

1. Nature— There’s nothing like a change in the weather change your plans. Rain kills picnics: floods destroy: hurricanes (rain with wind) kill people. Then there is our place in the Universe— do we know what role we are to play in the grand scheme of things?

2. Multi-Media Communications— It started meekly with the telegraph, then the telephone, then radio & TV; now, it’s out-of-control. The myriad forms of communication and entertainment available would have been deemed demonic a century ago. They weren’t, of course; but do they border on mind-control now? “Binge Watching” of TV shows has taken over more than one generation. Will we be known as the watching generation? A formidable force indeed!

3. The Wielding of Power— Those in authority use it; by the grace of God, may they use it properly. Power always seems to usurp power. I remember a saying of former Secretary of State George Schultz— “Never give authority to someone who cannot live without it.” Point taken.

4. Revenge— For some people, and nations, it is the driving force behind their existence. They will not be placated.

5. Love— Love seeks to give, to for-give. It offers the arms of embrace and friendship. Forgiveness and reparation. It may be buffeted, but it can rarely be destroyed.

6. A corollary of Love is Forgiveness. Forgiveness is an aspect of Love, enacted upon to correct a wrong done. But if we refuse to forgive are we not also denying ourselves love? It is impossible to love without forgiving: it is equally impossible to receive love when your heart is full of anger.

Thus does our discussion come down to these 3 questions—

1. Are you a formidable force in this world? If so…

2. What kind of formidable force are you?

3. How do you face the formidable forces in your world, in your life?

For what it’s worth,

Gary

Mostly Pure

If you’ve ever driven ‘cross country on Saturday night you might have tuned-in to PBS’s PRAIRE HOME COMPANION, a weekly broadcast of Garrison Keilor, onetime resident of the ill-fitted Lake Wobegone, and modern satirical comedian.

The show is “sponsored” by the fictitious product “Powdermilk Biscuits,” whose slogan is “Made from whole wheat raised in the rich bottomlands of the Lake Wobegon river valley by Norwegian bachelor farmers; so you know they’re not only good for you, but pure … mostly,” which “give shy people the strength to get up and do what needs to be done. Heavens they’re tasty and expeditious.” Powdermilk Biscuits has its own theme song, sung by Keillor every week. And NO, I’m not going to sing it for you.

It has always been fascinating to me how something can be “mostly pure.” I question this every time I read the ingredients listed on our food products. “Mostly pure?!?” I think. What does that mean? I also think of it at funerals when people speak of the deceased as “a good man.” It’s the reflection in their voice that gives me pause— like they’re trying to convince themselves of it.

Defining anything as mostly pure causes me to wonder if we even know what pure actually is anymore. A girl who is a virgin is defined as pure as she approaches marital status. “Pure 100% Virgin Olive Oil” makes me curious about what the other olive oils are. Are they like Dove Soap— “99.99% pure.” It’s almost as if being described as pure is derogatory, especially if you are a young lass. I mean, who wants to marry someone who is still a virgin!?! Really.

Our culture doesn’t seem concerned with being pure in any way whatsoever, whether it be sexually, morally, politically, or in family and business priorities and commitments. Why is that?

Here are just four causes for our loss of concern for purity—

1. We’ve become jaded. Thanks to modern media we can learn everything about anybody. It’s on the Internet, in the Tabloids, and on Headline News. We’ve grown accustomed to our public figures, be they politicians, athletes, or celebrities, being “dirty” in some way. And we simply accept it.

2. It’s all about winning. UCLA Bruins football coach Henry Russell (“Red”) Sanders has said “Winning isn’t everything: it’s the ONLY thing!” (1950) Win at all costs, by skill, cheating, trickery…, whatever. Just win!

3. Our base concern is the Bottom-Line. Making money is the only thing that matters. Screw anybody, just to make a buck. Remember the Wall Street broker’s answer to the question? “How much money is enough?” “More!” That’s why lawyers are brought in to arbitrate an agreement. It is assumed that both parties will write the contract in their favor exclusively. Purity and fairness never come into the equation.

4. A total abnegation of personal and corporate (not to mention governmental) Integrity. We no longer have a problem with disguising a lie as a truth, or with omitting certain data to make ourselves look better. Pragmatism has supplanted personal integrity in unfathomable ways.

To change this cultural-life pattern is no simple task. But we must start (yes, again) to correct our ways before God and our fellow men & women. Might I suggest we start with our own lives and relationships, and then press on to demand some degree of personal integrity and purity from our cultural leaders? 99.99% is sounding pretty good. Mostly pure!

For what it’s worth,

Gary

Let it go

Let it go!

We all have things in our past that we need to let go. The movie Frozen reminded us of this in the most beautiful way. Thank you Elsa. Although I did wonder if you didn’t go too far at times; like the proverbial throwing the baby out with the bath. Your letting-go was definitely a reflection of your rebellion— against your power, against obedience, and against everything you had been trained to be.

But it didn’t have to be that way. When people listen to their inner-rage, without the counsel of someone wise, they tend to let go of too much. We push people away so we can feel strong, safe, dominant over everything around us, but we are detached from it. Insulated from external influence, we become islands of isolation, convinced we can make it on our own, with no need for anyone else. This happens when some girl breaks up with you, or your marriage of 25 years comes crashing down around you; or that job you were committed to lets you go as part of a “downsizing.”

Some questions we all need to answer are—

1. What kinds of things need to be let go?

2. What are healthy ways to let go?

3. What dare not be let go?

1^st– What kinds of things need to be let go? Anger comes to mind; so does revenge, resentment, an unforgiving spirit, and the like. Too often do we carry our past with us to our detriment; it eats away at our souls and defiles our flesh. FEARS must also be let go.

2^nd– What are healthy ways to let go? Processing externally with a professional counselor is probably best; or, just a good drinking buddy. Tea or Single Malt Scotch; what’s the difference! Writing a list of things you NEED to let go of is also a good idea. Make two copies— the 2^nd one for your tea buddy or counselor. Accountability always produces more results than self-monitored goals. Commitment to put an end to ruminating over past hurts is a must. Prayer is a given; you need God’s help to make this work.

3^rd– What dare not be let go? Personal, moral character! Commitments. Personal integrity. The ability to love others when there is very little left of yourself. An ability to be vulnerable. A desire to live sacrificially. The need to be responsible with your own life and for those in your care. The gift of play. Your own ability, and need, to forgive others. And the strength to love those who have hurt you.

These are just a few of the many ways you need to let go; not of yourself, but of those things that detract from who you are as a person, as a creation of God, and as someone who has much to contribute to the world around you. So, get started, get moving! No one can do this but you.

Cold never bothered me anyway.

For what it’s worth,

Gary

Uncovering Christians at Christmas

It is becoming more and more difficult find real Christians. We have been supplanted by the massive dismissal of genuine Christian and Biblical beliefs. Replaced, seemingly, by a preference for anything else. But this begs a question— Why do we need to identify the genuine Christians in culture?

I’m not sure that we do need to identify other Christians in our culture. BUT…, genuine Christians should standout, in some positive way, more than our normal citizens. Some of the things my wife and I have done over the years are—

1. Gathered our agnostic & atheists friends to join us in neighborhood caroling. Then we gather back at our home for good cookies, wassail, & hot cider,

2. Distribute our excellent Christmas cookies to friends, of course, but also to the local businesses with whom we do business. If they are in retail, nothing beats a delivered pizza or salad.

3. Sweeping off the snow & scraping the ice off cars of fellow employees at the end of the day.

4. Shovel neighbors’ driveways. (note. This is not possible in southern Cal or Florida.)

5. Providing child care, free of charge, for couples that need to escape for a while.

6. Take $100, break it into $20s, and give it to random people. No reason.

7. Give someone the gift of a creative teenager who can help wrap their Christmas gifts. (OK, we haven’t actually done this one yet, but we will. Promise!)

8. Give hand-warmers to everyone!

9. Distribute fine bottles of wine randomly; decoratively wrapped.

10. Or eggnog.

Now, please note. Are any of these ideas especially Christian? No, not really. But we have found that these simple acts of Christmas kindness give rise to the question, “Who are these people?” A simple act that opens a window for a relationship of faith & trust.

So what do you do that is particularly Christian at Christmas?

For what it’s worth,

Gary

Vulnerable

In 2012, corporate guru Seth Godin released a “children’s” book
titled V is for Vulnerable: life outside the Comfort Zone. In it, Seth runs through the letters of the alphabet along with some of the significant ideas they represent— integrity, trust, and productivity in the workplace. It truly is a marvelous picture-book, appropriate for any business exec at any level in the grinding wheel. ‘Nough said.

But what about vulnerability? Why would this great guru of leadership pick this letter as the title for his book? Vulnerability is the critical attribute most wannabe leaders side-step to avoid exposing too much of themselves to curious eyes.

VULNERABILITY is about being open & honest with people. Granted, there is a difference between openness and honesty. We are always called to be honest in our personal and professional relationships. But openness depends upon the degree of trust between people, between companies, within families, or between nations.

It’s about safety. Am I safe with this person? To what degree can I trust this multinational treaty? What are my hesitations in this relationship? This is where mutual vulnerabilitybecomes a critical factor. Am I safe in revealing more of myself to this person? In thisbusiness contract? In this national concordat?

It is those subtle nuances that give us pause in our exposure. This is where a confidante or counselor could play a vital backdrop role in reaching a mutually safe agreement on how things should proceed. It always helps to see things though another’s eyes. This lowers the risk level a tad; but, as always, someone has to make the final decision, set the course of action, and seal the pact with an honest handshake. And a signature— YOURS.

Without question, if this person is you, make the decision within the wisdom and insights offered by others. But, make the decision. This will employ your sense of safety, your gut intuition, and your “read” of every party in the negotiations. It will include your willingness to be vulnerable with those across the table; it will involve their willingness to be mutually vulnerable with you.

Our ability to be vulnerable with people is in direct correlation with our ability to love and/or trust another person or group. If you cannot be vulnerable, you also probably have difficulties with trusting and loving. Doing business, resolving conflicts (especially in marriage), or creating the future are all issues of trust, safety, and vulnerability— on both sides.

So, work at being more vulnerable, more approachable. Sure, you’ll get burned sometimes; but that’s no reason to throw out the gains reaped from being vulnerable.

For what it’s worth,

Gary

Thanks-giving

Once a year in the United States we celebrate Thanksgiving; a time to remember to be thankful for all that we have. Friends and family gather together to give thanks over a bountiful meal, with turkey & mashed potatoes & gravy, yams, green beans with slivered almonds, coleslaw, cranberry sauce, fresh rolls from the oven…, and pie! Apple pie (a la mode), pumpkin pie, blueberry pie, even rhubarb pie. Kinda gets your mouth watering.

And football. LOTS of football! This year, depending on the number of channels you pay for, there are 3 NFL games from which to choose; but that’s just the NFL. Did I mention there’s more food! Hot crab dip, onion dip, spicy habanero salsa, and even Tzatziki. Blown your diet yet?

Then think of the next 3 weeks + of turkey & cranberry sauce sandwiches. Maybe not.

Oddly, one of the things missing in all this celebration and comradery is— remembering to give thanks. In most American families not even a prayer of thanks is offered before the meal anymore. Who are we supposed to thank? What’s the history of Thanksgiving? Google it.

Here are some suggestions on how to instill an aspect of thanks-giving into your Thanksgiving.

1. Whether you are the chef, invited guest, or family, gather your wits about you to celebrate with an attitude of how can I serve rather than serve me.

2. If you are a guest, bring something. Anything. It’s historical.

3. DO NOT make football the god-of-the-day.

4. If you believe in God, DO start with a prayer of thanks-giving.

5. If you do not believe in God, at the beginning of the meal, thank the chef! Profusely.

6. Toward the end of the meal, go ‘round the table asking each one there to offer at least one thing for which they are thankful. Kids included.

7. Offer to help with the dishes! If others don’t offer, conscript them. Note- the chef is not allowed to participate in kitchen clean-up.

8. If you are a guest, do not linger about forever. Unless invited to stay, leave after you do the dishes.

9. If you are the host, be gracious, but sit down. Stop!

10. NOW you can sit and watch more football. [After you go for a hike to shed the excess bulk.]

From our family to yours, we wish you the best season of thanks-giving ever. Gobble gobble.

Happy Thanksgiving,

Gary

Restless

Once upon a time, a long, long time ago, and yesterday, I thrashed about in the waves of restlessness that would not release me. Sure, I had things to be done; plans, goals, objectives. I knew how to measure my progress toward fulfilling those goals. I had personal goals, professional goals. So how did I wind up thrashing about so frantically, trying to stay afloat?

Restless in body, soul, and spirit, I tried to press on to the next phase in my plans. But I felt lost, adrift. I had the skills to accomplish my objectives; yet, I wasn’t sure that accomplishing them would make any difference. Anywhere.

Restless.

What do you do while turning your dreams into realities and find yourself simply cold to the things you are doing? What do you do when you find your passion has flat-lined?

Well, you NEVER, never ever give up! Do you fight to stay the course amidst the storms of disorder and desperation? Do you step back and reevaluate whether this is what you should be doing? Have your resources to get it done changed? Has there been a paradigm shift in the world that affects your goals and/or final product?

Adapt. Adjust. Reposition. Rebrand.

Do not clutch your goals or dreams so tightly that you are unable to let things go, modify the process, product, or personnel. Keep up with the times and seasons of your culture, with the strengths of your own resources, with the seasonal phases of your own life. Maybe you need to back-off for a time to gain perspective.

Out of a restless spirit can come a depletion of purpose and energy, or, any drive to change-up some things. Is it time to ask those age-old evaluative queries— Is what I am doing essential in making a difference in this world? Am I cut out for this? What would I rather be doing? The worst feeling in the world is that I am not making a difference; that I am merely taking up space.

Is it time to step up the helm and redirect the ship? Whether that ship be your company, your family, or yourself. The very deep resources of your soul are there for you to draw upon. Are you?

Or is it that you’d rather remain restless & unsettled, immobilized in your direction and stagnant in your spirit. Come on, now! Grab the helm; redirect your ship in the midst of the storms.

“A ship is safe within the harbor; but, of course, that’s not what ships are made for.” J.A. Shedd

For what it’s worth,

Gary

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