Category: Journey

Christmas Eves Past

Christmas Eves Past

My earliest memory of Christmas Eve is when I was nine years old. We visited a small Methodist church in the Maryland countryside. Snow blanketed the fields and roads outside, warm bodies and overcoats squished tight together in the pews inside. The sanctuary heat was cranking. My parents squeezed us into the fourth row from the back, on the left; it was tight.

The Christmas Eve meditation wasn’t all that appealing to this nine year old. But following the message, each child in the congregation was called forward, by name, to receive a Christmas gift. But I was an unknown visitor; who was I? No one knew I was even there.

Imagine my surprise when the guy upfront called my name “Is there a Gary Davis here?” I made my way forward wondering how anyone here knew my name, let alone could have bought me a gift. I returned to my seat and opened my gift; it was something I had actually wanted. WOW!

That was the first time God truly grabbed my attention.

We’ve had many Christmas Eves since then. Like the one where I could hear my dad struggling to assemble my first bike ($@&*%!); or the lavish late night dinners at Miller Brothers’ or Haussner’s Restaurant in Baltimore. They are wonderful memories.

Later, my wife Starr and I created Christmas Eve miracles and magic for our family. Many persist to this day, filled with light, graciousness, and blessing to all. But we would always hang onto a few moments of silence for just us, and the Christ Child. But it all started, for me, in that little country church when I was nine.

Throughout my life God has captured my attention in many ways. I have never become used to it. It is always unexpected and amazing. To this day I am still surprised by God for the everyday provisions He drops in my lap, let alone for the miraculous and the magical.

What have your Christmas Eves held for you? Mine have not all been so memorable; some have been terrible, truly terrible. Maybe yours have been like that too; but not all. Some have been truly wonderful.

This Christmas Eve, be open to God grabbing your attention, surprising you. It may be something you need to.

Merry Christmas,

Gary

assasination

Mohandas Gandhi (1948), John F. Kennedy (1963), Archduke Franz Ferdinand (1941), Abraham Lincoln (1865), Martin Luther King Jr. (1968), Malcolm X (1965), John Lennon (1980), Philip II of Macedon (336 bc) father of Alexander the Great, Empress Myeongseong, Queen of Korea (1895), Park Chung-hee, leader of South Korea (1979), King Henry IV, King of France (1610), Nicholas II, last Czar of Russia (1918), Benazir Bhutto, former Prime Minister of Pakistan (2007), Commodus, Roman Emperor (192). [taken from— http://www.good.is/posts/the-15-most-infamous-assassinations-in-history  ]

These are some of the more significant people who have been assassinated throughout history. There are more, to be sure. But this short list is unique: each played a role in shaping the lives of those around them on an immediate and world level. Their lives made a difference. Some more, some less.

On a recent trip to Colorado a well-known person of influence asked his leaders, “Would it matter to this state, this city, if our organization ceased to exist? Vanished off the face of the earth? Would anyone miss us?” It was quite the question. There are numerous organizations that this planet could well do without. [No, I will not suggest any lest I be boiled in oil.]

His question prodded me to wonder about the company I run. Would anyone miss us if we ceased to exist? Then it got personal— Would anyone miss me if I ceased to exist?

These two questions, in turn, led to a third— Is my life making a difference? Am I making any significant difference in the lives of those around me? In this nation? In our world?

I repeat, the question I wonder about is this— “Has my life been consequential enough to have made a profound contribution to anyone else?” My life, my passion, my work, have all sought to matter, to leave a gracious legacy to those who take up the torch after me.

How ‘bout you? This is big stuff; worth giving some thought.

For what it’s worth,

Gary

Kosher Bacon

This is a strange world.

When Boneless Spiral Ham is marketed as Delicious for Chanukah something is seriously out of kilter. “What’s next?!? Kosher Bacon!?!” Some things just don’t work. They don’t go together.

They’re termed—Oxymoron’s. Amicable divorce, act naturally, authentic reproduction, and the like. Grammatically, they make no sense, except as a play on words or a jest. But in the world of flesh & blood, when things don’t go together there can be serious consequences. For example, making a commitment, while never intending to honor it; whether it be a diet plan, a marriage, an employment requirement, or a peace treaty, breaking commitments is a serious breach of trust.

Business practices are not always complimentary: some are so oppositional that even the business ethic is transgressed. It is the same for systems of government, philosophies of life, and personal value practices; unless there is a clear understanding and coherence to a singular set of standards there will be compromise, corruption, and constant confrontation from divergent perspectives.

It is most likely that some Jews do eat kosher bacon, whatever that is. But they have compromised something to do so. All of us make compromises to make things work together for the common good. But is it worth it to compromise our basic values and beliefs “for the common good?” None of us should hold a principle which we consider good and right, and then shade is as if it were not so good, not so right.

If you are Jewish, then be Jewish; if you are Muslim, then be Muslim; if you are Christian, then be Christian; if you are an atheist, then be an atheist. Know what you believe and have reasons for it. If you do not know what you believe, but merely adhere to the general faith of the thing, well, maybe it’s time you did some review of what you say you hold so dearly as true.

[Note: there was no EMPulse for 09/23/2013 because it was my birthday & I didn’t feel like writing one.]

For what it’s worth,

Gary

daily duty

We are busy beyond belief. Between work, extra work, after work meetings, taking work home, it just feels never ending. Add to that the daily chauffeuring of the kids to this sport or that activity, preparing meals, cleaning, cleaning again, laundry, keeping the car(s) in working order, constantly paying bills and it gets overwhelming after a while. Nonetheless, there are some things which have to be attended to on a daily or weekly basis which no one else can do but YOU. Congratulations! You are just like the majority of the human race. You have responsibilities.

It could be worse: you could have nothing to do; just sit around and while away your millions on this, that, or the other thing. So fulfilling!?! Maybe you could become a philanthropist, investing in the future of our nation’s prodigies. Or curb the plight of the world’s hungry.

For the rest of us, we have to work, and work hard, if we’re to make a living. The trick is to find a way of enjoying what we’re doing. Whether manual laborer or corporate executive, the work is hard, and it is not going to get any easier; that’s our culture. So finding a way to make our daily duties more pleasurable is extremely vital.

Some ideas—

1.      If your job is tedious, boring and monotonous (been there, done that), find an avocation that lights you up! Like sky-diving, or roller derby, or hiking…, even reading. Or try the theatre—you, an actor!

2.      If your job demands extra energy from you, consider a separation on a weekly basis— a massage, a bike ride, an evening with friends who are similarly exhausted. S-e-p-a-r-a-t-e!

3.      Maybe you are in a start-up venture, or in middle management. Either way the buck stops with you and you’ll get it from both ends, top & bottom. Get used to it. There will ALWAYS be too much work to get done. Oddly, walk away…, or you will succumb to the depression of being married to your work.

4.      Delegate— especially laundry, dishes, and car washes. AND form a team of fellows at work who will help you divvy up the tasks to accomplish them more efficiently.

5.      Finally, (and I am sure there are many more ideas out there), please remember that you cannot get it all done in one 26 hour day. Utilize every resource you have, trust people and let go. If you don’t, your daily duties will bring about your demise.

Turning out the light now,

Gary

male pregnancy

ImageWomen are amazing creatures! They run households (40 hrs. a week), DO lift heavy things, manage finances, prepare meals ‘round the clock, work at meaningful jobs (40 hrs. a week), carry children in their bellies for an eternity (or 9 months), and then raise them after they are born (24/7, 365 days a year, 18-35 years).

Then there are men. We work at meaningful jobs (50-60 hrs. a week), providing safety for our families; we lift heavy things (producing hernias), spend money serendipitously (We have a budget?), rarely prepare meals (unless you are our son Josh, who is a chef), we would NEVER carry a child in our gut, and need to spend more time raising them once they’re born (ask any mother). Did I mention diapers… ?

But what if…?

Consider the adversities a man would face if any of us (God forbid) were pregnant.

  1. We could not play golf because we wouldn’t be able to see the ball.
  2. We would have to give up coffee due to morning sickness.
  3. Our voices would change pitch because of hormonal changes.
  4. We would have to cut down on beer to make room for the baby.
  5. Sliding in and out of cars would become a chore. O, never mind; it already is.
  6. Getting comfortable in bed would become a distant memory.
  7. So would sleep.
  8. Back pain would quadruple.
  9. No aspirin; no Alka-Seltzer; no laxatives—even though you feel like you are the model caricature for constipation.
  10. Then, there are the joys of giving birth. Not going there, guys!

Every life-form on this planet has a place in the grand scheme of things; humans especially. (With mosquitoes, I take issue). To be sure, there are exceptions and deformations (The Elephant Man, Joseph Merrick 1862-1890, is an extreme example).  This realm is a vast, complex eco-system and that the God of the universe has arranged to work in a symbiotic relationship for the common good. Thanks to modern technologies we are daily discovering more of our life’s intricacies as we journey on.

Please, don’t try to mess up what God has designed. Especially if there is a danger of me getting pregnant!

So, Kudos to God our Creator; and to every woman everywhere, thank you,

Gary

Nobody


When I walk into a room no one notices. Standing among a group of people maybe one of them asks me a courteous, inconsequential question. If I sit down I melt into oblivion. No one notices. When I get up to leave no one stops me. I am gone. And no one notices my absence.

            I own a cell phone—but no one ever calls; sometimes, not even to return my call. I post a message on Facebook, or Twitter. No comments.

            Where I work I have reconstructed some of our procedures to be more efficient. Someone else took the credit and was never questioned. Of course, I never spoke up about it to anyone.

When it comes to deep relationships with men, or women…, well—same story. No one wants to know me. So I withdraw deeper into my isolation and tell myself this is normal for some people. I know I am lying.

            I am nobody.

Too many of us suffer from a form of isolationism that deepens with the years. Sometimes that self-seclusion is learned through the berating and rejection of others:  sometimes it is self-imposed. Throughout my own youth I was constantly told I wouldn’t amount to anything. For a time, I simply accepted it. When I grew up it was an astonishing revelation that I could actually accomplish some things of significance. People who knew me were surprised; so was I.

It is true, “Ships are safe within the harbor; but that’s not what ships are built for.” You have been created by God to make a difference during your time on this earth. Have you discovered what it is? I encourage you to try something new, anything; although, if you have bad luck, sky-diving should not be the first venture. Eat new foods, get lost on a country road (er, with a GPS device nearby), read outside your normal purview; try sports (maybe not Rugby). You have not been designed to hide your life under a soggy cloud.

Now get up, get out of bed, and try to make someone else’s day! You are not nobody. Live with it.

For what it’s worth,

Gary

8 1/2 x 11

Take an 8½” x 11” sheet of paper. What will you write on it? Or scribble, or draw, or sketch? Or will you reproduce a Jan Van Eck, or fold it into a paper airplane or a work of origami? Or maybe crumple it into a ball for some rainy-day in-house fútbol.

If this 8½ x 11 sheet of paper symbolized your life what would you do with it? Not that life is all that two dimensional; it certainly is not. But if that sheet of paper could represent your life, what would you do with it? Many people let others write the paper of their life, giving up control, often capriciously. Some allow others to crumple them up into a little ball and kick them around for their entire life. What a tragic waste. More tragic are those who choose to write nothing…, absolutely nothing. They merely accept whatever comes their way.

Fortunately, there are enough of us who strive to make something of our life; to plan, create, design, and make a difference while we still have breath. Some of us are successful in business and accumulate mass fortunes. Their ability to make a difference on this planet is truly on a global scale. Their fortunes have helped the less fortunate rise to greater expectations for centuries. They deserve our thanks & praises. Others choose to serve humanity among unknown communities in the most neglected, war ravaged, impoverished places on earth. Their wealth is of a different nature. They will write the paper of their life to make just as much a difference as those who accumulate wealth; but their 8½ x 11 sheet will carry the names of those who our world will never notice…, except for the one person who came to them and cared. God, too, might notice.

As you continue to fill in the lines of your 8½ x 11 sheet of life (or paint & sculpt it) what will you write? If there are some lines already written you wish you could erase…, they cannot be. We have all written life-lines we pray no one else will ever read.

But we can choose to change the plot; to begin a new storyline, to start a new chapter that shifts the direction of our life away from ourselves and onto making a difference.

Allow me to leave you with a quote from George Bernard Shaw (Irish playwright, 1856-1950).

This is the joy of life:
Being used up for a purpose
recognized by yourself as a mighty one;
being a force of nature
instead of a feverish little clot of
ailments and grievances,
complaining that the world will not devote itself
to making you happy.

Now, back to writing,

Gary

terrified

Dr, Gary, Davis, Needinc, Clueless, Christianity, Christian, fear, terrified, suicide, life, insecure,Far too many people around our planet survive their days in petrifying terror. Whether due to the horrors of war, abusive families, or constant failures, they have become a class of human beings who dread life. Their intense fear fossilizes them into a dormant state of seclusion from life’s activities, people, and society. Eventually, they lose any accurate connection with true-realityand cocoon themselves within their ever shrinking world. For some, it is just too much to bear and they execute the ultimate separation from their fear. They end their life.

Terrorized people are oft categorized as recluses, hermits, most fourteen year olds, monks, ascetics, and those with paranoia and/or phobias. We think of these people as mentally ill; and some probably are. They range from insecure youths to the executive offices of corporate and governmental leaders: they are among the under-dogs and the privileged. The common fear they possess knows no rank or race. It is a soundless terror eating away at their soul.

Edvard Munch’s 1893 painting The Scream, depicts his own horror in a moment of realization that death awaits us all. He too lived a life of constant terror, bordering incessantly on insanity. Even though his works have received international acclaim as some of the finest examples of Expressionist Art, Munch ultimately isolated himself from the world outside in his estate at Ekely (Skøyen, Oslo) where he died at age 80. Throughout his life he remained deeply obsessed with morbid pietism and psychoneurosis. “The angels of fear, sorrow, and death stood by my side since the day I was born.” [Prideaux, Sue (2005), Edvard Munch: Behind the Scream, New Haven: Yale University Press, p.2.]

It is often impossible to overcome such a deeply rooted sense of dread. Nonetheless, there are many who have overcome being terrified of life and reentered the land of the living. How?

  1. Some have gotten angry. Tired of this life-sucking way of living they finally got mad enough to fight back. They fought themselves; a fight never easy of enjoyable to wage. Until you win. (Note- they often had to fight other peoples’ perceptions of them as well.)
  2. Many have admitted their inability to beat this agony alone and sought the support of others. No man is an island. Seeking another’s support takes an active decision to trust. Trust is indispensable in defeating terror. It is a risk that must be taken.
  3. They did not give up after every falter or failure. THEY DID NOT GIVE UP. But they really wanted to.
  4. Many have turned to God in prayer. Whether you view prayer as truly talking to the God of the universe or not, prayer seems to elicit some form of cleansing, healing, and peace. Personally, I actually talk to Someone. What bothers me is when God talks back.
  5. They rejoiced as pieces of pain were lifted from their souls. Small victories.
  6. Some, whom I have counseled, also danced and sang. This self-therapy surprised me. In some way it freed their spirits to soar above the terror and gave them new perspectives on it.

Living a continuously terrified life is not a life. It is an inner death sentence being carried out long before actual death. May God grant you His power to speed you on your journey to new life!

Have a nice week,

Gary

Courage

Dr, Gary, Davis, Needinc, Clueless, Christianity, Christian, courage, sacrifice, foundationSocrates, Chin, Hammurabi, Abram, Moses, David, Alexander the Great, Cleopatra, Eric the Great, Charlemagne, Odo the Great, Elizabeth I, Peter the Great, Susan B Anthony, Clara Barton, Gandhi, Abraham Lincoln, Annie Sullivan, Mother Teresa, Dwight D. Eisenhower, Martin Luther King, Jr., Aung San Suu Kyi, Sgt. Dakota Meyer. Every one of these individuals possesses a quality every person on earth must acquire— courage. In our present era we talk more about our rights than about our responsibilities; we are more concerned about bottom-lines than life-lines for others. We have become more a people of self-preservation than of self-sacrifice.

Self-protection and self-gratification are not, mind you, the definers of all of us; certainly not of those in the opening inventory. There are still some who put others before themselves. Why do they do this? They possess qualities that others deem weaknesses, or foolish. Qualities like, graciousness, forgiveness, humility, and courage. These qualities are not often rewarded in the civic arena. In fact, they go mostly unnoticed. Acts of kindness & courage are most often done in secret; actions which come to light only at a later date (if at all).

Amidst the stresses swirling about in our postModern/postChristian society it takes courage for many of us just to get out of bed to face another day. Things are not as simple as they once were. The smorgasbord of choices and decisions we must make every day— what to do with our time & priorities, our commitments, our financial restrictions, our emotional highs & lows, our energies & exhaustion, notwithstanding the ethical & moral dilemmas we encounter, are overwhelming.

Unless we each hold some guiding principles, some basic beliefs about life, faith, and trust in something (Someone) beyond ourselves, we will be quite confounded as to how to grapple with it all. You see, courage rests on a foundation of belief, which rests on a certain realties beyond individual mere self-preservation. Call it faith in God, belief in a “higher-power,” or even a “…if it is God’s will.” Courage rarely issues forth from a basis of superiority; rather, it arises from a sense of one’s own humility in the grand scheme of things, in believing that there are powerful forces at work in our world, that there is a greater plan in place, than my own puny little existence.

In the ancient Greek Temple of Apollo at Delphi, inscribed above the forecourt was the Socratic maxim— γνῶθισεαυτόν. “Know thyself.” We would all do well to take a measure of ourselves within, before our fellow man (and women), and before the God who made us. For it is only from a true knowledge of who we truly are that true courage can take root and be called upon when the time is at hand.

Have a nice week,

Gary

safe house

Dr, Gary, Davis, Needinc, Clueless, Christianity, Christian, Most of us have a deep-seated need for a safe person, a safe activity, and a safe place. I have very few safe-people in my life; that’s something with which I struggle constantly. [Albeit, I am a safe-person for many.] I have a number of safe-activities— hiking in the Tetons, photography, counseling, test driving a Jaguar c-x75 or a Bugatti Veyron; definitely not cooking. And I am honoured to hold a number of safe-places— a Lakehouse in NH, the Harraseeket Inn in Maine, Jenny Lake, and, once again, our home. Hopefully, you can name a few safety-zones in your life as well. For our concern here is just that— Safe Houses.

Rivendell, an elven dwelling depicted in J.R.R. Tolkien’s The Lord of the Rings trilogy, is described in one passage as “a safe place surrounded by evil.”  The visual images of Rivendell, both in Tolkien’s book and the subsequent movie, draw in the reader’s imaginations to be in such a place; to walk its vaulted porticos, to gaze out into the rich, deep forests and roiling waters as they surge over falls and crash on the rocks below. Rivendell’s elegant tapestries, portraying triumphs of the past, her flowing sheer curtain-walls, and comfortable beds all capture the traveler and bid him/her “Welcome! Within these walls and rooms and spires are you ever safe!” I’m ready for such a place. Are you?

All things being equal, we both still dwell in a place surrounded by evil. I wonder? Could it be our task to provide a safe house for other weary, down-trodden travelers? Genuine hospitality is a rare commodity in our society— unless it is paid for. Our lives are so FULL of, well, everything, that the last thing we want is company. Our homes have become our fortresses; our families, our havens (unless you have teenagers). Entertaining is simply too much effort. Considering the plight of our society, the economy, investments, extensive and disastrous marital relationships, and our own financial futures, has there ever been a better time to provide a safe house in a land of evil? Yes, we will have to sacrifice. That’s what giving graciously is all about.

It doesn’t have to be limited to the home either. A safe house can easily take root in our workplaces just as well. Bringing in a special desert regularly, encouraging co-workers practically, not merely with words, taking a workmate to lunch, providing refreshments for a critical meeting, or, just listening around the water cooler, all or any can become a foundation for a safe house. Then there’s your office. Do people gain a sense of safety when they enter it? Do you feel safe within your office? For many of us, turning our offices into safe houses is a distinct possibility. We just need to think about it more, and then initiate the change.

I’ve often wondered why Jesus said, “In my Father’s house are many mansions; I go there now to prepare a place for you.” Is our role is to provide safe mansions for people here, so they’ll get used to the idea of being safe with their Creator later? We are neither called nor designed to escape this world. So we might as well get on with the task of providing people with those safe places we all need in times of turmoil and uncertainty.

 

Have a nice week,

Gary