Tag: women

I love Charlie Sheen

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My love for Charlie Sheen

Sometimes I think our whole world has gone crazy. Throughout my life I have loved so many people—both men and women. I dated at least 26 women before I married my wife. Since then I’ve loved at least that many more. And the men? Really? I’ve lost count. My wife, Starr, is absolutely OK with all of it. Of course, none of my relationships involved sex. But I still loved intently.

Charlie has loved so many women it’s out of control. He’s been out of control, in control, then out again, then in again, so many times. It’s unimaginable.

Yet he’s the one who gets condemned and told, “You got what you deserved.” “You reap what you sow.”

Here is a man who has just been told he has the HIV virus and the first thing that comes to people’s minds is he deserves it. Incredible!

Let me ask you, do you want to get what you deserve? I certainly don’t. A lot of my Christian friends ask me if I’m looking forward to heaven. I tell them that I’ll be damn lucky (Calvinisticly speaking) to squeak in by a side door. I deserve to have my ass fried in hell for all eternity. But God has never played fair with me…, or you, or Charlie.

Cut the guy a little slack! He doesn’t deserve this.

For what it’s worth,

  Gary

male pregnancy

ImageWomen are amazing creatures! They run households (40 hrs. a week), DO lift heavy things, manage finances, prepare meals ‘round the clock, work at meaningful jobs (40 hrs. a week), carry children in their bellies for an eternity (or 9 months), and then raise them after they are born (24/7, 365 days a year, 18-35 years).

Then there are men. We work at meaningful jobs (50-60 hrs. a week), providing safety for our families; we lift heavy things (producing hernias), spend money serendipitously (We have a budget?), rarely prepare meals (unless you are our son Josh, who is a chef), we would NEVER carry a child in our gut, and need to spend more time raising them once they’re born (ask any mother). Did I mention diapers… ?

But what if…?

Consider the adversities a man would face if any of us (God forbid) were pregnant.

  1. We could not play golf because we wouldn’t be able to see the ball.
  2. We would have to give up coffee due to morning sickness.
  3. Our voices would change pitch because of hormonal changes.
  4. We would have to cut down on beer to make room for the baby.
  5. Sliding in and out of cars would become a chore. O, never mind; it already is.
  6. Getting comfortable in bed would become a distant memory.
  7. So would sleep.
  8. Back pain would quadruple.
  9. No aspirin; no Alka-Seltzer; no laxatives—even though you feel like you are the model caricature for constipation.
  10. Then, there are the joys of giving birth. Not going there, guys!

Every life-form on this planet has a place in the grand scheme of things; humans especially. (With mosquitoes, I take issue). To be sure, there are exceptions and deformations (The Elephant Man, Joseph Merrick 1862-1890, is an extreme example).  This realm is a vast, complex eco-system and that the God of the universe has arranged to work in a symbiotic relationship for the common good. Thanks to modern technologies we are daily discovering more of our life’s intricacies as we journey on.

Please, don’t try to mess up what God has designed. Especially if there is a danger of me getting pregnant!

So, Kudos to God our Creator; and to every woman everywhere, thank you,

Gary