Tag: Clueless

daily duty

We are busy beyond belief. Between work, extra work, after work meetings, taking work home, it just feels never ending. Add to that the daily chauffeuring of the kids to this sport or that activity, preparing meals, cleaning, cleaning again, laundry, keeping the car(s) in working order, constantly paying bills and it gets overwhelming after a while. Nonetheless, there are some things which have to be attended to on a daily or weekly basis which no one else can do but YOU. Congratulations! You are just like the majority of the human race. You have responsibilities.

It could be worse: you could have nothing to do; just sit around and while away your millions on this, that, or the other thing. So fulfilling!?! Maybe you could become a philanthropist, investing in the future of our nation’s prodigies. Or curb the plight of the world’s hungry.

For the rest of us, we have to work, and work hard, if we’re to make a living. The trick is to find a way of enjoying what we’re doing. Whether manual laborer or corporate executive, the work is hard, and it is not going to get any easier; that’s our culture. So finding a way to make our daily duties more pleasurable is extremely vital.

Some ideas—

1.      If your job is tedious, boring and monotonous (been there, done that), find an avocation that lights you up! Like sky-diving, or roller derby, or hiking…, even reading. Or try the theatre—you, an actor!

2.      If your job demands extra energy from you, consider a separation on a weekly basis— a massage, a bike ride, an evening with friends who are similarly exhausted. S-e-p-a-r-a-t-e!

3.      Maybe you are in a start-up venture, or in middle management. Either way the buck stops with you and you’ll get it from both ends, top & bottom. Get used to it. There will ALWAYS be too much work to get done. Oddly, walk away…, or you will succumb to the depression of being married to your work.

4.      Delegate— especially laundry, dishes, and car washes. AND form a team of fellows at work who will help you divvy up the tasks to accomplish them more efficiently.

5.      Finally, (and I am sure there are many more ideas out there), please remember that you cannot get it all done in one 26 hour day. Utilize every resource you have, trust people and let go. If you don’t, your daily duties will bring about your demise.

Turning out the light now,

Gary

male pregnancy

ImageWomen are amazing creatures! They run households (40 hrs. a week), DO lift heavy things, manage finances, prepare meals ‘round the clock, work at meaningful jobs (40 hrs. a week), carry children in their bellies for an eternity (or 9 months), and then raise them after they are born (24/7, 365 days a year, 18-35 years).

Then there are men. We work at meaningful jobs (50-60 hrs. a week), providing safety for our families; we lift heavy things (producing hernias), spend money serendipitously (We have a budget?), rarely prepare meals (unless you are our son Josh, who is a chef), we would NEVER carry a child in our gut, and need to spend more time raising them once they’re born (ask any mother). Did I mention diapers… ?

But what if…?

Consider the adversities a man would face if any of us (God forbid) were pregnant.

  1. We could not play golf because we wouldn’t be able to see the ball.
  2. We would have to give up coffee due to morning sickness.
  3. Our voices would change pitch because of hormonal changes.
  4. We would have to cut down on beer to make room for the baby.
  5. Sliding in and out of cars would become a chore. O, never mind; it already is.
  6. Getting comfortable in bed would become a distant memory.
  7. So would sleep.
  8. Back pain would quadruple.
  9. No aspirin; no Alka-Seltzer; no laxatives—even though you feel like you are the model caricature for constipation.
  10. Then, there are the joys of giving birth. Not going there, guys!

Every life-form on this planet has a place in the grand scheme of things; humans especially. (With mosquitoes, I take issue). To be sure, there are exceptions and deformations (The Elephant Man, Joseph Merrick 1862-1890, is an extreme example).  This realm is a vast, complex eco-system and that the God of the universe has arranged to work in a symbiotic relationship for the common good. Thanks to modern technologies we are daily discovering more of our life’s intricacies as we journey on.

Please, don’t try to mess up what God has designed. Especially if there is a danger of me getting pregnant!

So, Kudos to God our Creator; and to every woman everywhere, thank you,

Gary

Nobody


When I walk into a room no one notices. Standing among a group of people maybe one of them asks me a courteous, inconsequential question. If I sit down I melt into oblivion. No one notices. When I get up to leave no one stops me. I am gone. And no one notices my absence.

            I own a cell phone—but no one ever calls; sometimes, not even to return my call. I post a message on Facebook, or Twitter. No comments.

            Where I work I have reconstructed some of our procedures to be more efficient. Someone else took the credit and was never questioned. Of course, I never spoke up about it to anyone.

When it comes to deep relationships with men, or women…, well—same story. No one wants to know me. So I withdraw deeper into my isolation and tell myself this is normal for some people. I know I am lying.

            I am nobody.

Too many of us suffer from a form of isolationism that deepens with the years. Sometimes that self-seclusion is learned through the berating and rejection of others:  sometimes it is self-imposed. Throughout my own youth I was constantly told I wouldn’t amount to anything. For a time, I simply accepted it. When I grew up it was an astonishing revelation that I could actually accomplish some things of significance. People who knew me were surprised; so was I.

It is true, “Ships are safe within the harbor; but that’s not what ships are built for.” You have been created by God to make a difference during your time on this earth. Have you discovered what it is? I encourage you to try something new, anything; although, if you have bad luck, sky-diving should not be the first venture. Eat new foods, get lost on a country road (er, with a GPS device nearby), read outside your normal purview; try sports (maybe not Rugby). You have not been designed to hide your life under a soggy cloud.

Now get up, get out of bed, and try to make someone else’s day! You are not nobody. Live with it.

For what it’s worth,

Gary

terrified

Dr, Gary, Davis, Needinc, Clueless, Christianity, Christian, fear, terrified, suicide, life, insecure,Far too many people around our planet survive their days in petrifying terror. Whether due to the horrors of war, abusive families, or constant failures, they have become a class of human beings who dread life. Their intense fear fossilizes them into a dormant state of seclusion from life’s activities, people, and society. Eventually, they lose any accurate connection with true-realityand cocoon themselves within their ever shrinking world. For some, it is just too much to bear and they execute the ultimate separation from their fear. They end their life.

Terrorized people are oft categorized as recluses, hermits, most fourteen year olds, monks, ascetics, and those with paranoia and/or phobias. We think of these people as mentally ill; and some probably are. They range from insecure youths to the executive offices of corporate and governmental leaders: they are among the under-dogs and the privileged. The common fear they possess knows no rank or race. It is a soundless terror eating away at their soul.

Edvard Munch’s 1893 painting The Scream, depicts his own horror in a moment of realization that death awaits us all. He too lived a life of constant terror, bordering incessantly on insanity. Even though his works have received international acclaim as some of the finest examples of Expressionist Art, Munch ultimately isolated himself from the world outside in his estate at Ekely (Skøyen, Oslo) where he died at age 80. Throughout his life he remained deeply obsessed with morbid pietism and psychoneurosis. “The angels of fear, sorrow, and death stood by my side since the day I was born.” [Prideaux, Sue (2005), Edvard Munch: Behind the Scream, New Haven: Yale University Press, p.2.]

It is often impossible to overcome such a deeply rooted sense of dread. Nonetheless, there are many who have overcome being terrified of life and reentered the land of the living. How?

  1. Some have gotten angry. Tired of this life-sucking way of living they finally got mad enough to fight back. They fought themselves; a fight never easy of enjoyable to wage. Until you win. (Note- they often had to fight other peoples’ perceptions of them as well.)
  2. Many have admitted their inability to beat this agony alone and sought the support of others. No man is an island. Seeking another’s support takes an active decision to trust. Trust is indispensable in defeating terror. It is a risk that must be taken.
  3. They did not give up after every falter or failure. THEY DID NOT GIVE UP. But they really wanted to.
  4. Many have turned to God in prayer. Whether you view prayer as truly talking to the God of the universe or not, prayer seems to elicit some form of cleansing, healing, and peace. Personally, I actually talk to Someone. What bothers me is when God talks back.
  5. They rejoiced as pieces of pain were lifted from their souls. Small victories.
  6. Some, whom I have counseled, also danced and sang. This self-therapy surprised me. In some way it freed their spirits to soar above the terror and gave them new perspectives on it.

Living a continuously terrified life is not a life. It is an inner death sentence being carried out long before actual death. May God grant you His power to speed you on your journey to new life!

Have a nice week,

Gary

collateral damage

Dr, Gary, Davis, Needinc, Clueless, Christianity, Christian, refugee, war, damage, collateralOne of the givens of war is collateral damage— the incidental destruction of property and human life not intended as part of a tactical military maneuver; also known as- the casualties of war. Each side in the conflict will report and dramatize the extent of collateral damage inflicted by the other side as if the intended targets were indeed the innocents. The propaganda and misinformation war waged alongside of the military conflict will always seek to claim moral justification for its retaliation by producing the most graphic images. The truth is
that too many innocent people are used as military shields, as propaganda tools, and, sadly, as actual targets. IF they have any military value whatsoever, they are expendable. Casualties of war.

Similarly, some of us have no idea of the collateral damage we leave in our wake. Some, to be sure, are glibly blind to the havoc they cause. They are simply stupid people who need to be confronted with their stupidity. It is those who have no issue with littering casualties along the way as long as they can achieve their personal goals that are at issue here. Why is it that some of us believe we have the right to use others, to step on them to climb one more rung up the ladder, to wound them deeply, and then to dispose of them as little more than rotting rubbish!?! And then they continue their climb up the ladder, suffering no moral or ethical pangs in what they have done.

Common decency and courtesy would seem to dictate that a simple apology containing some degree of civil or humane restitution would be in order. Yet if it remains with the abuser to put forth the contrition, to take the lower place, you may well have to provide your own snowballs in hell. Thus, just or not, it will most probably fall to you to take the lower place, and accordingly to rise to the level of bringing some reconciliation to the situation— even though you remain the collaterally damaged and discarded one   . Ever heard this adage?

If you place yourself on top, there’s only one direction you can go.

If you place yourself on the bottom, there’s only one direction you can go.

            Never, ever be the one who inflicts collateral damage on others!

 

Have a nice week,

Gary

so what !?!

Dr, Gary, Davis, Needinc, Clueless, Christianity, Christian,An article in a recent US newspaper struck me as quite perspicuous. It was titled “God, Religion Atheism. So What!?!” It seems that many government and private market forms, when asking for religious identification encompass a variation on this article’s title— “Christian, Jewish, Muslim, NONE.” The article pointed out that more and more, Americans are selecting NONE as their category of choice. It’s not that we are not religious; we just don’t want to identify with any “organized religion.” (From my observations there’s good news then; religion isn’t that organized anymore.)  The article certainly did not reveal anything new when it noted that there is a growing number of us who not only have NO religious affiliation, but believe that there is no god, no higher principles, no magnificent scheme, no metanarrative, no purpose-for-living to which they should dedicate their energy and allegiance. Their life’s significance and direction are set solely by their own desires, skills, decisions, and preferences. It is the enjoyment of life’s predilections & pleasures that determine their direction. They are NOT concerned with fitting in with some divine purpose or search for meaning. Selah.

From the vantage point of a person (ok, me) who has lived as a servant of the Most HIGH GOD this seems an evasion of both societal and spiritual participation; choosing, instead, to place the desires of the moment and a penchant for personal fulfillment above any need to be included or concerned in the lives of the people of this planet. It is not arrogant self-centeredness:  it is irresponsible self-absorption. It flies in the face of all the sacrifices and efforts made to forestall a global Armageddon. Government isn’t all bad: but at least it’s trying. Religious people don’t always agree: but at least they are endeavouring to make a difference.

The non-religious, non-caring, so-whats!?! of our culture are wrong. Inherent within us all, cognizant of it or not, lies a deep sense of purpose and meaning for life. Their arrogance asserting a belief in self as the ultimate determiner of meaning is unfathomable. None of us would be here today had not some of us dedicated our lives to making a difference. Then again, a world without God is as devoid of meaning as it gets; created or imputed meaning leaves much to be desired. The world and the universe do not revolve around us. It is not about So what!?!  It is about what if, I can, I’m sorry, together, & making a difference.  So be it!

Have a nice week,

Gary

Courage

Dr, Gary, Davis, Needinc, Clueless, Christianity, Christian, courage, sacrifice, foundationSocrates, Chin, Hammurabi, Abram, Moses, David, Alexander the Great, Cleopatra, Eric the Great, Charlemagne, Odo the Great, Elizabeth I, Peter the Great, Susan B Anthony, Clara Barton, Gandhi, Abraham Lincoln, Annie Sullivan, Mother Teresa, Dwight D. Eisenhower, Martin Luther King, Jr., Aung San Suu Kyi, Sgt. Dakota Meyer. Every one of these individuals possesses a quality every person on earth must acquire— courage. In our present era we talk more about our rights than about our responsibilities; we are more concerned about bottom-lines than life-lines for others. We have become more a people of self-preservation than of self-sacrifice.

Self-protection and self-gratification are not, mind you, the definers of all of us; certainly not of those in the opening inventory. There are still some who put others before themselves. Why do they do this? They possess qualities that others deem weaknesses, or foolish. Qualities like, graciousness, forgiveness, humility, and courage. These qualities are not often rewarded in the civic arena. In fact, they go mostly unnoticed. Acts of kindness & courage are most often done in secret; actions which come to light only at a later date (if at all).

Amidst the stresses swirling about in our postModern/postChristian society it takes courage for many of us just to get out of bed to face another day. Things are not as simple as they once were. The smorgasbord of choices and decisions we must make every day— what to do with our time & priorities, our commitments, our financial restrictions, our emotional highs & lows, our energies & exhaustion, notwithstanding the ethical & moral dilemmas we encounter, are overwhelming.

Unless we each hold some guiding principles, some basic beliefs about life, faith, and trust in something (Someone) beyond ourselves, we will be quite confounded as to how to grapple with it all. You see, courage rests on a foundation of belief, which rests on a certain realties beyond individual mere self-preservation. Call it faith in God, belief in a “higher-power,” or even a “…if it is God’s will.” Courage rarely issues forth from a basis of superiority; rather, it arises from a sense of one’s own humility in the grand scheme of things, in believing that there are powerful forces at work in our world, that there is a greater plan in place, than my own puny little existence.

In the ancient Greek Temple of Apollo at Delphi, inscribed above the forecourt was the Socratic maxim— γνῶθισεαυτόν. “Know thyself.” We would all do well to take a measure of ourselves within, before our fellow man (and women), and before the God who made us. For it is only from a true knowledge of who we truly are that true courage can take root and be called upon when the time is at hand.

Have a nice week,

Gary

…the glass is half-full

…the glass is half-full

Dr, Gary, Davis, Needinc, Clueless, Christianity, Christian, perspective, resources, focusYou know the lines— The glass is half-full. The glass is half-empty. Or, the engineering version— Someone made the glass too large. It’s a pint-sized metaphor of life, of one’s perspective on life. It questions whether we see life as optimists (half full), or as pessimists (half empty); or as engineers, who don’t talk in metaphors— it’s a design issue & has nothing to do with perspective. Maybe they are the realistic ones after all.

Personally, I have never cared whether the glass was half full, half empty, or designed wrong. Just drink it! Sometimes life will appear half empty. Drink whatever is there! You’ll need the nourishment it brings to raise the next glass. And when your life feels half full, you’ve only taken in ½ of what you need to complete the tasks God has set before you; be they corporate planning, child rearing, relationship resolution, or overcoming some personal dilemma. Drink the rest of the glass! You are only half way to getting done what is important in life. Actually, pour another glass: you’ll doubtless need that one too.

Some of us get so hemmed in by our perspective that we forget to take advantage of the resources sitting right on the table in front of us. Drink! Drink in the counsel of friends, professionals, spiritual directors! Drink in the refortification of the love offered you by so many of those around you! Drink of your own insights & discernment; you are not a useless blot of DNA! Drink in the empowerment and protections offered you by the God who made you!

There is a story in the Judeo/Christian Scriptures that takes place in the Judean Fall (Oct.-Sept.). The Feast of the Lord (Sukkot, the Feast of Tabernacles) was being celebrated to remind the Jews of God’s bounty in the Fall Harvest. For seven days a Priest would walk around the Temple. On the eighth day he would take a golden pitcher, draw from the water of the Temple Fountain, go to the Temple Laver (wash bowl) and pour out the water while facing West in a symbolic gesture of thanks and praise to God. It was on this eighth day that Jesus approached the golden pitcher before the priest arrived. He emptied it, outside the Temple, in front of all the people, and said, “Let anyone who is thirsty come to me and drink.  Whoever believes in me, as Scripture has said, rivers of living water will flow from within them.”

So, instead of focusing on whether you feel optimistic (up), or pessimistic (down), at this moment, why not drink fully of what God has set before you? I hear He has good taste in wine too.

 

Have a nice week,

Gary

distractions

Dr, Gary, Davis, Needinc, Clueless, Christianity, Christian, distractions, relationships, What keeps you from getting things done? For some, it is no less than life’s chronic interruptions-children crying, screaming, being teenagers. Illness. [Whoever finds the cures common cold should be knighted!] Piles of paper that needed your attention yesterday, last week…, last year. The basement, the attic, the lawn. Your relationship with your husband/wife, or parents/children. Wanting to be in a relationship: wanting to get out of one. Not enough money. Not enough time (a.k.a.- getting behind). Daydreaming. Fantasy games. Gaming…, and, of course, various addictions.

There is no end to the myriad of distractions that come assault us on a daily basis, preventing us from attending to the weightier matters of life. When I was a teenager I remember then Secretary of State Dean Rusk saying “A man without a singular over-riding purpose will waste his life doing important things.” His words have pressed upon me the critical nature of the passing of time. We all have the same amount; the question is what we do within its restrictions.

The issue here is not so much time’s management; rather, it is those things that distract us from accomplishing what we set out to do. Be sure that there will always be distractions. Some must be addressed immediately, but far fewer than we usually give in to. Pleasant distractions are the most appealing to follow. A sunny day, a simpler issue on my desk, a pleasant conversation with a co-worker. Difficult distractions-a criticism, a bodily injury, emotional turmoil, an accusation, or even a threat, are much harder to cast aside. They invade your mind and spirit and prevent you from clear, logical thinking, from being imaginative and creative, let alone being productive. These distractions dissipate soul, mind, and spirit. Some guidance-

1. Think about the distraction before you act. But DO act.
2. Resolve it as best you can as quickly as possible.
3. Accept guilt if it is warranted; seek reconciliation.
4. Leave accusation to the defense of God and others.
5.

No…, wait. This is not about some logical/rational, practical series of steps to get back on track. This is a matter of the heart. If you are passionate about something, someone, your heart will drive you to commit the greater part of your energies to it. Distractions are anything that dissuades you from your passion. Distinguish them from responsibilities. Responsibilities must be part of your passion. Passion is often mistaken for what you want to do. To be sure it IS what you desire; but desire’s context is duty. DO what must be DONE: it is a indispensable component of passion. Distraction decreases with fewer variables on the table.

Oh yes, one more thing. Honor God; honor people: make a difference.

Have a nice week,

Gary

sunday morning pancakes

Dr, Gary, Davis, Needinc, Clueless, Christianity, Christian, It’s no wonder so few people go to church. With our weekday jam-packed schedules, Saturdays running kids around to sports practices, home repair, grocery shopping, lawn (or snow) maintenance, finishing up some office work (shame on you), and, if we’re lucky, a college ball game thrown in; then maybe a dinner out with friends?!? Yeah, Sunday morning pancakes sound really good— leisurely, with blueberries, recently tapped AA grade New England Maple syrup, with fresh squeezed orange juice, Columbian Supremo coffee, Canadian bacon…, on the deck, or around the fire place. Either way it carries us to a time of refreshment and rest; whether with friends or family, Sunday mornings draws us into a place of peace & restoration. Now if churches would only serve pancakes… . O, never mind.

We live a pace of life that allows for few periods of rest, few times for revival for our bodies, of refreshment for our souls. Weekends often leave us exhausted for another week of work or family responsibilities. Vacations find us so tired from work that we need a minimum of 2 weeks off just to detach from the speed of our daily lives. The probability of sequential mini-breakdowns increases with each passing year. And high blood-pressure…, you probably already have it.

Ergo, we return to Sunday morning pancakes. Sunday morning is probably the only time in your week that you have to STOP and feed your spirit. What I’m talking about is pancakes! Heaps of ‘em! With friends. Sharing the joys and woes of the previous week. (Pass the Maple Syrup again, please. O, and some more coffee!) And if you find yourself in Jackson Hole, WY, drop into Jedediah’s. You’ll feel right at home as you’re served a breakfast like you’ve never imagined!

The point is simple. Each of us needs to set aside some time during our week when we put off the busyness of life to renew our spirits and restore our souls. Pancakes drenched in whipped cream & smothered with blueberries will go a long way towards renewing our spirits. But to refresh our soul, well, only the God who made us can do that properly. And there is no substitute, just like “genuine maple Syrup.” You need to find a church with a community of fellow (exhausted) travelers, just like you, who need a reminder from God about who you are. Jesus Christ came to redeem sinners.  Like you: like me.

Let the God who made you minister to your body & soul Sunday mornings. Then hit the blueberries & whipped cream.

 

Have a nice week,

Gary