Tag: alone

The Whiskey Chronicles 16 – Cloistering & Cocooning

 An unconscious practice many Christians don’t know they have is that of cloistering and/or cocooning. With the first, we huddle within our own tribe. It’s not a conscious act; it is normative to any affinity group with a common interest. Reading clubs. Baseball teams (and their fans). Fantasy football, C.S Lewis aficionados. Mountain bikers. Prayer groups. Dinner parties.

              We hang with people who are like us, who have common interests. Affinity groups.

              The other inclination of many Christians is, what Faith Popcorn termed, cocooning. We hide out within our own little perimeters of safety, a cocoon, to protect us from those outside our common-interest group. The world “outside” can be a scary place for many followers of Christ. So, when not with fellow Christians, we tend to hide in our own, safe, world, venturing out only to go to the bank or to go shopping.

         We very much keep to our own or stay alone. It’s safer that way.

         Unfortunately, this is not the road God has designed us to trod. He made us to intentionally live and move among those who have no clue what our Christian faith is all about. More and more I meet great people for other people. But very few Christ followers couch their faith in the context of loving this world. Instead, we tend to avoid people in the world, like we could be stained or somehow have our faith tainted by them.

         How absurd!

         Christians are just immerging, or are trying to come out, of a century of isolationism. Protectionism. Our connections to this world have been limited to commando raids, timid witnessing, and assumptions about nonChristians dreamed up in a church think-tank pondering an outreach program.

         May I suggest that it is time we shed our cocoons and emerge as warrior-butterflies! Ready to declare the incredible glories of our God in an increasingly forlorn world. This world needs us.

         Are you ready to spread your wings?

For I am not ashamed of the gospel,

For it is the power of God for salvation

To everyone who believes… .

Romans 1:16 ESV

Loving God; loving people… and bringing the two together! ©

Gary

NEXT— deep prayer — a mystery

After There’s Nothing Left: This Gets Personal

There is a line from Shakespeare that reads “How do I love thee…, let me count the ways.” In an oddly related way, this is how I often think when I ponder my own sin(s). Here is a list of some of the areas where I have struggled.

  1. A Need for Significance. For me, this has not been as much a need to control, to be in charge, as a need to make a difference. To be sure, nothing is wrong with this. Nonetheless, when it becomes a compulsion it ceases to be a gift to enjoy and is degraded to a self-promotional lust for influence.
  2. A Desire to have the Best. Have I mentioned I like Volvos? A well equipped XC60 with heated-massaging seats and all the goodies to bathe you in luxury. Then there are well made watches— Patek Philippe, Breitling. True representations of God’s handiwork in creation. Or, so I tell myself.
  3. A Sense of Self-Worth. Too often has the value of myself come from what I’ve done and the things I possess. But accomplishments and possessions weigh in very lightly in the grand scheme of the universe. My self-worth is turning out to be what I pass on to others.
  4. Aloneness. Throughout my life I have been in leadership positions. I have become self-sufficient in many ways. Although, in recent years, I find myself surrounded by a host of people to whom I can delegate much of the responsibilities of leadership. Nonetheless, I find myself feeling terribly alone far too often. It is not the case; I know that. My aloneness is an irrational feeling of isolation which leaves me in a state of despondency and depression. It is a struggle.
  5. Sexual fantasy. In a sense, I’ve told you nothing. What man does not struggle with this!?! For many this can be the same as drug addiction, or alcoholism. That was what it was like for me for many years. Now, not so much. But remember, I am a man just past 75 (stop laughing). If you are reading this in your 20s or 30s, it is still, probably, a very strong siren yowling in your heart and head. Do not let it take over your very being. Its cost…, could be your future.

      These things drain my soul. There will be similar things in your life that will drain your soul. So when you find yourself drowning in self-pity and depression, you should probably do a lot of soul searching. But you may also throw guilt on yourself as a way of understanding your failure. In reality you may or may not be guilty.

      Remember, our Lord is overflowing with compassion and forgiveness. He only calls to us to turn to him… and ask.

Honor God, honor people, make a difference,

Gary

Dr. Gary Davis, President

NEXT— After There’s Nothing Left— what forges forgiveness?

After There’s Nothing Left: Imbalance & Deception

6010535530_fb0c533fec_b[Note~ I have been very tempted to comment on the murder of George Floyd along with the subsequent protests, riots, and killings. So much of this has inundated our news-media in so many forms that I will not add my outrage to make sense to this horror. Being raised in an inner-city gang-based neighborhood was enough to taint my perception of the “good” of man for the rest of my life.  Instead, let’s direct our attention to further causes of depression— imbalance & deception.]

     For years, my wife and I were involved in rock climbing and high–altitude mountaineering (10,000’-14,000’). Not so much in these days. But we knew the critical nature of maintaining balance and a sense of where we were on the mountain. It is much the same in our own lives.

  1. Imbalance

              A third cause of soul exhaustion in life is imbalance. It is similar to #1, Over-Commitment, but far more complex. Through either over-commitment or a general laze of long-term haphazard living, you find your life has come apart and unraveled; it is in shambles. You feel off-kilter about everything. You give too much energy and time to non-essentials and too little time and energy to truly important things. In this state you cannot make a decision about the simplest of things. And you feel like you are constantly teetering on the edge of collapsing in on yourself. If imbalance doesn’t produce soul-exhaustion, nothing will.

              To maintain your balance, check in with the goals you’ve set for yourself. Measuring up? Or, ask someone who knows you how you come across these days.

  1. Deception

           It is pitiful to think that anyone would live a life of intentional deception. Sadly, too many of us do. Not in everything, to be sure; but in some areas of our lives we “fake good,” or “fake bad.” We pretend things are better or worse than they actually are. Or we try to put on a good front when we really do not have the slightest clue about what we are doing. (This may not be a bad thing in some cases.)

           Deception burns up energy: remembering what you said to whom; recalling which persona you need to put on in which situation; or reworking the truth to fit the conversation so you come out looking better. Whatever it is, deception eventually sucks the life out of you and exhausts the strength of your soul.

              Do not deceive yourself; this results in living a life as a shell, an untrue persona. We allow our minds to hide behind a projection of who we want to be, thus obscuring our genuine, transparent selves.

Honour God, honour people, make a difference,
Gary

Dr. Gary Davis, President
NEXT— Physical exhaustion, fear, & deep wounding.

What’s Happening to Us? Time Alone

861750526_640x360  In this technological age, very few of us get the time alone we need. We neglect relationships and people in favor of time online with media, games, shopping, researching, reading, learning, and plain ol’ WEB-trolling. If things at home are difficult, we tend to immerse ourselves in work: if things at work are unpleasant, we run late, or are sick a lot. We fill our lives with entertainment and escape to avoid the harsh realities in which we move.

     With our present Coronavirus, Covid19 Pandemic our local, state, and federal governments are intentionally enforcing time alone. While a cure is being sought, we have switched to a defensive posture of confinement to curb the spread of this widespread disease.

     The Influenza Pandemic of 1918 – 1919 killed between 20-40 million lives worldwide. In America more than 675,000 died. This present coronavirus is ten times as lethal as the influenza of 100 years ago. Our present options are middling at best— isolate…, and wait for a breakthrough.

     So, what are we to do with all this alone-time forced upon us? Here are some options—

  1. Stay healthy! Eat healthy foods. Maintain some balance of exercise and rest. 10 minutes a day.
  2. Get to know yourself again. What are the really important issues you need to think about? Journal?
  3. Get to know your family again. Board games. Seriously.
  4. Serve others. Care for people who can’t or won’t go out.
  5. Be an Encourager. Pray over the phone with people. Send e-cards, bad jokes, emojis.
  6. Do not hoard. This is crazy people. Instead, share your resources. Especially toilet paper.
  7. We are all going to have to trust in God more…, even atheists. Ultimately, He is the one in control.
  8. Use wisdom and caution in all you do.
  9. Gather in small groups. Food. Movies in. Worship.
  10. Don’t forget to take care of yourself. Our God is full of surprises… .

     For some of us, time alone is the norm. For others, not so much. We are all experiencing this COVID19 pandemic differently. Many lives will be lost. Maybe even yours. Get your affairs in order and your relationship with God in a safe, forgiven, restored place.

     These are the times when genuine followers of Christ can make a great difference in peoples’ lives.

     One final thought— think of giving the gift of toilet paper to your friends & neighbors.

Honor God, honor people…, make a difference.
Gary

Dr. Gary Davis, President

NEXT— What’s happened to us?  Fear of engaging

But…BUTT OUT!!

black-man-yelling-into-phone-500x295

Ok, OK…, this “butt” piece may not be what I intended when I first started writing this whole series, but it seemed to fit. Why— because sometime you don’t want to deal with all the crazies nosing around or interfering in your business. You simply want people to BUTT OUT!!!

    In this over-connected techno era it seems like everybody has access to your information, your identity, your very personal and financial documents. You can run, but you cannot hide. More and more, the concept of personal privacy is being challenged. How much information about you do governments, clothing lines, credit card companies, medical practitioners and medical insurers, even grocery stores have a right to know about you, let alone, the right to share with their “partners”?!?

    Hamlet, in Shakespeare’s play of the same name, once pondered “To be, or not to be. That is the question.” Today that question would be more like “To be known, or not to be known.” A young bride once said to me that the greatest fear she had of getting married was being known.

    It’s not so much that knowledge is power, as it is the withholding of information, knowledge, is power. Too many prying eyes, too many internet connections, have made us a culture of isolationists. LEAVE ME ALONE! BUTT OUT! If you think privacy on the internet is an issue, try personal privacy in life. We crave personal privacy, personal space, and, not unexpectedly, a deepening desire to be alone, to be silent, tranquil, in a serene, safe place. Not easily accessed in our open-faced society.

    Some of us even want God to Butt-Out. He becomes too intrusive in our lives, always interfering with what we want, with our rights and pleasures. Does he really know what’s best for us? Who says? Well, he does. Contrary to popular opinion, God is not sitting up in heaven trying to think of ways to take the fun out of life, or steal our joy, or rob us of our pleasure. More likely than not, he is trying to protect us from ourselves. One of the consequences of wanting our own way, with no acknowledgement of the perimeters-of-protection he has set in place for us is that we are left to our own undoing. Ignoring Christ’s principles for living is simply not a smart move. Telling the Lord God Creator, in essence, to butt-out, is quite dangerous.

    Sitting humbly before him to learn is a much wiser choice. And safer.

    Your move.

NEXT— But I’m afraid.

Honor God, honor people…, make a difference,
Gary