EmPulse for Week of August 30, 2010

terrible truth

Truth has many interpretations…, or so we’re been led to believe. It’s a matter of perspective. Say some. Truthiness, touts Stephen Colbert. Truth is divine Revelation found in Scripture, the Koran, the Bible…, or, truth is what you make it. It’s all relative, relatively speaking. Whatever your perspective on Truth, or truth, if you prefer, one thing is clear— we all want Truth to be something with which we are comfortable. Good truth, happy truth, encouraging truth, truth lite. If there must be bad truth, let it be about somebody else, their bad, their rotten situation, their tragedy…, not mine!

This is the reason many Christians have veered away from talking about hell, the final judgment, even people’s sin against a Holy God. It makes people uncomfortable. Let God deal with it; it’s His problem that we’re in this mess anyway. If God were all loving and all forgiving we wouldn’t have this problem. We could live with His Truth as well as ours and there would be no conflict. Besides, who’s to say there’s anything like “ultimate” Truth anyway. Truth is individually and culturally determined.

Ah, if it were only so; but it is not. There are terrible Truths in this reality of ours that cannot be averted—  Suffering exists, war, personal pain & loss, disappointment, betrayal, deceit in business and love, murder of the innocents, etc. Albert Einstein was once asked by a reporter “What in your opinion is the most important question facing humanity today?” Einstein replied, “Is the universe a friendly place?” I believe most civil human beings would like it to be. Some of us pretend that all is rosy, bright, and simple; we endeavor to live in that reality (fanciful as it might be) as much as possible. Disaster strikes this type of person and leaves life endangering scars that often compound the delusion to the breaking point.

So wonder with me for a few moments on some of the Terrible Truths we all live with, like it or not.

• God is not exclusively all loving and all forgiving. He is also the Lord God Almighty, Creator and Sustainer of life, and Judge; He will judge us all according to how we have lived & treated others, especially His son, Jesus.
• We live in an unfriendly universe; it is not a neutral place. Einstein is right.
• NO ONE gets to redefine Truth/truth in their own terms. It stands independently, outside of human control, be it scientific, natural, or spiritual. We merely uncover it and learn of its further effects on us.
• The buck stops with each one of us to make a difference. If we shirk off our role in society, the family, or the world, we become part of the problem and are no longer contributing to a solution. Absolutely, our bad.
• We can choose to live honorably before God and man; or, we can choose to live as if the world exists for us to suck dry of all it holds. This is beyond a doubt, truly dishonorable living.
• All actions have consequences, good and bad. We should not think we can get away with our sinful actions, against God or other people.
• There is freedom and forgiveness to be found in Jesus Christ; but we do not receive it automatically, just for living, just for doing a few good things along the way. It can only be acquired through contrition and repentance before the Holy God who made us all.

‘Nough said.

Have a nice week.

Gary

EmPulse for Week of August 23, 2010

perspective

Maurits Cornelis Escher (1898 – 1972), usually referred to as M. C. Escher , interpreted ideas of multi-dimensional planes where objects refused to remain on their own plane and leapt to another, defying the laws of aspect and perception. He challenged the rules of perspective and the viewpoint of the observer by skewing the eye’s ability to follow a line to the vanishing point beyond the horizon.

Not incongruously, this happens to most of us when we try to make sense of what lies before us in many areas of life. There are more variables than constants, more uncertainties than givens, more unpredictable scenarios than sureties. Our perspective can become skewed, distorted, out-of-true; no longer able to interpret reality accurately, we oft make decisions and form commitments based on erroneous information or blurry perspective; and things go very, very, very badly.

Accurate perception, perspective, must consider a wide variety of factors to grasp realities correctly. Do I have enough data? Do I have the right data? What might be missing? How does my observation of the data effect its interpretation? What is the relationship between my vantage-point and what I am examining? What are my unconscious assumptions, conclusions, prejudices? Also, there is the factor of personality resonance and chaffing, not to mention personal differences in perspective and interpretation. In business and family matters personal emotions must also be considered; fiery tempers & passive-aggressives are a lethal combination in any circle. Long-term resentments and seething animosities lie just below the surface of seemingly cordial familial partnerships. Careful!

Nonetheless, gaining precise perspectives on relationships, business decisions, future plans, etc. is critical for anyone trying to make an impact on our present-day world situation. Whether you are 13 years old, delivering newspapers, 23 years old working at your first job in an investment brokerage, or 45 years old trying to change the ethos of a company known for its questionable business practices, having the correct perspective on what you are endeavoring to accomplish is essential if you intend to make a difference in today’s convoluted society. Here is a list of ideas on gaining an accurate perspective:

1.       Listen carefully to others—especially to those who disagree with your assessment.

2.       Assume a position of humility; you’ll learn more.

3.       Research, research, research.

4.       Find historical precedent, whether in relationships or business. “Those who do not learn from history… .”

5.       Be honest with yourself about your short-comings. Find people who can countermand them.

6.       Ask God for guidance. [Actually wait for it to come.]

7.       After all is said & done, you have to trust your gut.

8.       Make a decision that matters.

9.       If you get it wrong, you’ve eliminated a variable. Try again.

10.   Always update your perspective to stay current with changing relationships, cultural & economic conditions.

Now go back to the drawing boards and get it right! Make what you do matter! Make a difference!  [Or, try a Tesseract cube to relax- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5xN4DxdiFrs&feature=related ]

Have a nice week.

Gary

EmPulse for Week of August 16, 2010

success for dummies

One of my favorite quotes is from, well, me—  Generate a lot of mistakes. Statistically, you can’t get it wrong all the time.

It is well known to my friends that I have made a lot of mistakes. To me, it feels as if I’ve raised failure to the level of an art form. Nonetheless, I have learned from my mistakes, and my friends, not to make the same mistakes again. Well, er, that isn’t exactly true. One of my other life dictums is— Always make the same mistake at least twice; that way you’ll be able to make it perfectly the third time.

Although I’ve been through all kinds of management regimens (time management, decision making, problem analysis, potential problem analysis, hand-writing analysis, body language reading, etc.), I have always found that understanding HOW to DO something is not the same as actually doing it. Furthermore, success at anything requires not only a vision of what is not-yet and needs-to-be, but also the perspicuity and tenacity to make it happen…, in a team effort, with others who do not share your Achilles’ heels (or clumsy feet), blind-spots, or, yes, stupidities. Working in a vacuum always makes it harder to breathe freely.

Backing up a bit, becoming a “success” first needs prior definition. What is success? Accumulation of $$$? Bling!? Bling!? A Mercedes? Lavish stuff? Or is it something slightly less tangible, yet far more durable? Ending hunger in just one part of the world. Curing AIDS. Turning around a ghetto in NYC or East LA. Saving history accurately. Providing scholarships & grants for those in need. Maintaining a wacked-out, flourishing, loving, Silly-String home. Bringing peace and laughter into a tense workplace. Loving one convoluted teenager. Righting an injustice in your community. It’s simply…, making a difference.

Defining success is prerequisite to being successful. What’s the quote… If you aim at nothing you’re bound to hit it. What might be worse is mindlessly assuming everyone else’s definition of success. Usually money. Rather, ask yourself questions like these—

1.       What does it mean for me to be significant?

2.       What one thing do I want to accomplish in my life more than anything else?

3.       Where is a concrete, actual place on this planet where I can make a difference?

4.       What skills do I have to give away?

5.       What skills will I need to help me fulfill God’s design on my life? How do I get them?

6.       How will I know when I am truly successful?

Make your life count. It’s not so much about how long you live, or how much wealth you accumulate as it is about the legacy, the contribution, you leave behind.

Have a nice week.

Gary

EmPulse for Week of August 9, 2010

intimacy

Definition- in·ti·ma·cy:

1. the state of being intimate.  2. a close, familiar, and usually affectionate or loving personal relationship with another person or group.  3. a close association with or detailed knowledge or deep understanding of a place, subject, period of history, etc.: an intimacy with Japan.  4. an act or expression serving as a token of familiarity, affection, or the like: to allow the intimacy of using first names.  5. sexual intercourse.  6. the quality of being comfortable, warm, or familiar: the intimacy of the room. (http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/intimacy)

But why start with “definition” at all? Do we feel safer with things we can put a tag on, classify, categorize, name, or identify? Does it give us a feeling of greater control because it is a defined thing? Are realities more under control once they are sorted by classification in our minds than when they are free to roam as ideas or emotions? Are emotions more of a danger to some of us than the prisons of logical reasoning? Why are some of us so guarded, so fearful? [To be sure, some of us need to keep ourselves a little more reserved.]  Why are others of us so comfortable in our own skin, comfortable with anyone?

Intimacy…, & deeper intimacy, is a factor of individual, personal safety. The safer a person feels in a situation, the more relaxed, open, comfortable, & intimate the conversation, camaraderie, or love-making. The presence of fear or insecurity in a situation inhibits the sense of safety, and thus, the depth of intimacy possible.

The ramifications of a loss of intimacy in relationships are immense. Whether in business, religion, politics, or interpersonal relationships, trust, deep-trust, is key to honor in contracts & commitment. Without it, only betrayal and legal action will follow. We base our lives on the commitments and confidences we form between one another as our bond. To be intimate with another is to fortify that bond in a richer loyalty.

Those who are afraid of intimacy disclose much about themselves. They reveal that they have been betrayed, that they have been hurt deeply. They reveal that trust does not come as easily for them as it once did. They tell us that they do not want to be known too deeply ever again. These are people of sadness, who must live in the shadow of freedom offered freely to them by God. In essence, they choose to trust not even Him. Their fear blocks the lightness of His Love. They choose, rather, to live lives of inner isolation shrouded within a serene façade.

For those who are open to God’s love are also open to love others, and to receive love from others…, freely. Theirs is a life of freedom, forgiveness, celebration, and companionship. They are united with the God who made them and free to love those around them— from husband, to wife, to workmate, to enemy.  Intimacy at its finest!

They rest well at night. How do you sleep? Being open to intimacy is a great key to open a locked-down heart.

Have a nice week.

Gary

EmPulse for Week of August 2, 2010

Fear of being un-known

Many people in our society are terrified of being known, of revealing too much of themselves to others. Thus, though sociable outwardly, they conceal their souls in secrecy. Yet others long for significance; theirs is a desire to make a difference, to leave a mark, to be known: they have a continual underlying fear that their lives won’t matter— theirs is a fear is of being unknown, of being ignored. For this kind of person there is a daily disappointment in the mundane, the repetitious, the monotonous routine. They long to contribute something of significance but may, in fact, live lives of trivial irrelevance.

Their inconsequential reality plays horrible tricks with them—

1.       Need to Impress— Their fear of being unknown causes them to constantly try to impress people.

2.       OCD— Obsessive Compulsive Disorder; they have to be right! They over prepare for everything.

3.       Exaggerated  Life— Their reported life, seeming greater than it actually is, leads them to believe their own lie.

4.       Loss of Significant Solitude— Solitude allows for contemplation & self-examination. In doing so, people who fear being unknown just might not measure up, even to themselves.

5.       Loss of Self-Esteem— Remaining unknown brings on possible depression and resignation to a dull life.

If you find yourself among those who fear being insignificant throughout life, muse over these offerings—

1.       Quiet Humbleness— Give other people the opportunity to draw attention to your accomplishments.

2.       Admit Mistakes— Statistically, you can’t get it wrong all the time. Still, do your best; but don’t overdo it.

3.       Reality Bites— Live an honest life before God & man. It is so much more satisfying than remembering the lies.

4.       Friendly Fire— Find someone who will truly level with you about how you come across to people. Listen! Do not defend yourself. Take the shots. Then get alone before God and yourself to reflect on your soul in solitude.

5. Being…, so much more than Doing— If self-esteem comes from doing, it can all be swept away in an instant. Search for significance in who God has designed you do BE as a integral part of His creation.

Your life already has a context. You are of considerable importance to more people than you might realize. Still, it is more important to be known to God than to be known to men. Being unknown is not possible. Give it up.

Have a nice week.

Gary

EmPulse for Week of July 19, 2010

no dark in day

There is no dark in day

In the world of work…, and play

For clear is light, with eyes bright

We are not captive to night, to sadness, to a heart wrenched dry

We need not surrender to the empty void within, nor without

For our soul was forged from tougher stuff, tempered gold, alloyed metal—

Strength of spirit, confident in conflict, assured of our bearing

We are no weaklings, thrashing under plan and program

Scurrying to meet deadlines that to others matter

Rather, we know meaning, purpose, cause, and triumph

In the daily crunch of life, yes, but in so much more

We find…

A reason to live, to be alive, nere dead inside, nor to any in need

Alive

To celebrate, to give, to bless, to care

To serve and be of consequence; to honor— God, friends, family, and faith

Faith that this world may never become any better than it is

But, with God’s grace, and strength, and mercy, and forgiveness—

We will

There is no dark in day

Have a nice week.

Gary

EmPulse for Week of July 12, 2010

course corrections

Navigating the twists & turns of everyday life often involves some minor adaptations we call course corrections. These are mere practice lessions for the major course corrections we will have to negotiate when our lives sail through rougher seas. Going off to school, becoming responsible for our own lives, getting married, getting divorced, starting a family, losing a job, being fired, losing our parents, burying a child, a wife, a husband— none of these events are simple matters to endure; some are painful, some, oddly exciting. Any one of these experiences will bring on the occasion for a major course correction. This will be the time when our true metal will be tested and refined.

How we negotiate a course correction will determine, to a large degree, who we become on the other side of the circumstances. Not all of us handle change very well. A worst-case scenario occurs when we stand by idly and wait to see what happens. We simply relinquish any control and responsibility we might have to influence the outcome of a situation. Just short of this kind of passivity is the position of avoidance— we avoid facing a course correction by sticking to our guns and maintaining the original course direction we set, even though it leads us into catastrophic wreckage. We need to pay attention to that funny little voice in the back of our head sometime; and we should carefully consider the insights of close friends who know us well.

Course corrections always demand that we change. Whether it be a shift in corporate ethos, personal perception, or team realignment, course corrections acknowledge changes in societal wind direction that demand we steer our course on another heading. On a corporate level, this will mean uprooting offices, families, relationship networks…, the whole kit & caboodle. On an individual scale it may mean admitting that you just might have been wrong about some cherished traditions or practices that are no longer appropriate on this new bearing. It may mean it’s time to learn a different perspective on things.

Advice on Navigating Life’s Course Corrections—

1.       Establish a set of core values which are non-negotiable, which are central to any course correction. How will this course corrections challenge my/our core values?

2.       Ponder the implications of a course correction. What will I gain? What will I lose? What will I have to let go of? How big a risk is this new direction?

3.       Run a potential problem analysis (thank you Charles Kepner & Ben Tregoe) on each course of direction.

a.       What might go wrong if we stay the original course?

b.       What might go wrong if we change bearings and set a new course direction?

4.       Find a set of friends with different perspectives than your own and have them play “devil’s advocate” with you.

5.       Think through things. Stop thinking. Put everything up on a shelf for a week. Look at it again.

6.       Pray…, but listen, too. You really need to listen for the input of the God who made you.

Course corrections are a part of life; get used to them. Do not try to circumnavigate them; the earth is flat, it has boundaries, and you will fall off if you sail too far off course. Better to settle on a new bearing and take the helm on the new course correction.

Have a nice week.

Gary

EmPulse for Week of July 5, 2010

deep waters

“Counsel in the heart of man is like deep water, but a man of understanding will draw it out.”

[Proverbs of Solomon 20:5 NKJV]

Deep water can mean different things to different people. For some it means going through hard times, for others it is deep thought that draws them into self-reflection and serious evaluation. Sometimes it means you’re just in over your head. Whatever it is, deep water runs deep…, deep into the heart of a man, a woman, and draws upon our life experiences for counsel, wisdom, direction, and answers. Every one of us has this stream flowing deep within our being. Some try to avoid its current and cling to branches in our surface lives; but it is still there, surging below. Others seem constantly pulled under by its flow, always seeking to resolve the disparity between its course and the direction of their lives.

Deep water beckons us to ponder ultimate questions— Who am I? What am I doing with my life? How much time do I have left to make a difference? What kind of husband, wife, son, or daughter am I? Do I matter anywhere? These are the kinds of questions we all need to ask ourselves on a regular basis (yearly?) They are self-assessment questions. [For other approaches go to http://www.soon.org.uk/question.htm, or http://www.personalityquiz.net/ ] Questions that are designed to help us to come more in touch with ourselves, with how we come across to other people and with how they view us.

The better each of us understand ourselves, the more we will understand our role in society, in a family, on the job, and even at leisure. (We need to know what relaxes us just as much as we need to know what motivates us and gets us out of bed in the morning.) Some of us seek counsel to understand ourselves better. This is not an admission of mental illness, or some personality disorder, but rather an acknowledgment that having a guide to help sort through all the history just makes sense. The guide can be a wise friend, or a professional counselor. Doesn’t matter. But we all need someone to swim with us in the deep waters.

Two wrap-up questions:

1.       Do you have some unsettled questions about life, in your own deep waters, where you could use a guide, someone who might offer you some wise counsel?

2.       Is there someone for whom you need to be “a man (or a woman) of understanding?” Someone who needs a person exactly like you to walk into their life, who will take the time to win the right to be heard, who will have the patience to be invited deeper in, and then who will bring just the right Truth that is needed at just the right time?

If you answered yes to either of these two questions, make sure you are first in close touch with the God who made you…, and that you hold tight to a deep discernment concerning your own soul.  Now…, go for it!

Have a nice week.

Gary

side effects (read at your own peril)

So many medications come with WARNINGS about their serious side effects.

Do not take XXXX if you take nitrates, as this may cause a sudden, unsafe drop in blood pressure. Discuss your general health status with your doctor… . If you are older than age 65…, consult with your primary care physician before using this medication.

In rare instances, a sudden decrease or loss of vision has been reported. If you experience sudden decrease or loss of vision, stop taking XXXX, and call a doctor right away. Sudden decrease or loss of hearing has been rarely reported in people taking XXXX. If you experience sudden decrease or loss of hearing, contact a doctor right away.

The most common side effects of XXXX are headache, minor memory loss, diarrhea and vomiting. Less commonly, hallucinations, blurred vision, or sensitivity to light may briefly occur. In some instances loss of use of the limbs or death has also been reported; but this is rare.

With these kinds of accompanying Warnings it is a wonder anyone would dare take any kind of medication! Where is our trust in the pharmaceutical industry being compromised by legalize language? Do the benefits of our medications truly outweigh the possible side effects? Don’t misunderstand, modern medicine is a miracle workers dream come true. What we take for granted today, Aspirin and Penicillin, weren’t even known slightly over a century ago. These were miracle drugs throughout the last century, and we are still discovering more of their surprising uses today.

Still, so many things that are truly good for us always seem to come with warnings of possible detrimental side effects. Power tools (not safe for children), fine whiskey (alcoholism), or gourmet food (high cholesterol/obesity), and just about ALL medications (for legal protection). Some things should come with Warnings— Bugatti Veyrons (don’t ask…), 5 blade razors (ouch!), children (loss of privacy & and any life of your own), and even the Christian faith. Yes, the Christian faith should come with a WARNING about its side effects, just like children should.

Some side effects of faith that have been reported— first, a sense of lightness comes over you, like a great weight has been lifted off. Second, you start to perceive reality & people differently, as having intrinsic value. Then, you begin to assemble a worldview where things start hanging together instead of merely being strung together. Fourth, you start to understand your place in the grand scheme of things. You are not the center of the universe; you are a humble creation, gratefully in love with your Creator. The whole Jesus-Savior, Creation-Fall-Redemption-Fulfillment thing starts to really ring true. Finally, you start to care—  about world situations, the poor, injustice, AIDS, your community, having integrity, your family, people at work, even strangers asking for $$$ on the street. There are serious side effects to the Christian faith that come upon a person when they get serious about facing the God who made them.

OR, you could continue taking XXXX, ignoring the warnings of possible detrimental side effects, and die an excruciating death. Your choice. [Did I mention there are also detrimental side effects to ignoring the claims of your Creator on your life. You have been warned!] And DO enjoy your children; you’ll get your life back someday, maybe-sorta.

Have a nice week.

Gary