winning

First they ignore you,

then they laugh at you,

then they fight you,

then you win.

~ Mahatma Gandhi

1869 – 1948

I’ve never won much in life. Well, that is, if you consider, kewpie-dolls at the county fair, the first prize in a match-box car race, or a Monopoly game, or certain sports events worth winning; I just don’t seem to be cut out for winning: not, at least, at this level. I’d rather put my time and energy into winning the battle for the souls of men & women, for justice, for clearer communication between peoples who don’t even want to talk with each other, let alone consider loving each other. I’d like to bring peace where there is very little of it: that’s worth winning.

Winning is different for everybody. For some of us, every human exchange is a competitive event: someone has to win, someone has to lose. These people play their game with every ounce of their strength and will power (in sports, business, simple conversations, or relationships) to win. For three years during college I was on our Debate Team; I never lost even one debate. As I grew in life, after college, a couple graduate programs, & a doctorate, I had to learn how NOT to win. Why? Because I lost too many relationships always trying to win, to be right, to wind up Number ONE. It wasn’t worth it to me.

When our children were in their formative years I used to tell them— If you put yourself on Top, there’s only one direction you can go. If you put yourself on the Bottom, there’s only one direction you can go. ‘Nough said.

So, my question to you is this— What’s worth winning? Is it scoring that winning point in a game? Being summa cum laude at graduation? Becoming Senior Vice-President by age thirty? Or simply driving the coolest car? To be sure there are some things in life worth winning; and, there are some things in life not really worth fighting for. We all need to pick our battles carefully. C a r e f u l l y.

For me, I just want to make a difference in this world before I check out. How about you?

For what it’s worth,

Gary

After the Resurrection

Goin’ fishin’.” In essence, that is what Jesus’ closest disciples opted to do after His crucifixion. It was over. But Jesus asked them to wait— to wait for 3 more days. Three days of asking— What went wrong? What do we do now? Why wait to get on with our lives?

Have you ever felt that emptiness that follows the death of someone close to you— a mother, a dear friend, a child? It’s an emptiness that has no resolution, no closure; just a, flat, raw, void. It does pass; eventually.

Then the resolution to keep-on-keeping-on sets in; one foot in front of the other; another day to face. And you do it with a big hole in your life.

Sometimes it feels like Christ’s Church is still waiting. Waiting for something to happen. We say we’re looking forward to our Lord’s return, but we hardly live like it. We’ve established a new-normal. Faith without vibrancy, expectation, or longing—a settled faith that gives little regard to Christ’s commission to “make disciples” and to declare that He has conquered death and opened the door of heaven.

In too many ways, we have established a wrote-religion. You know what I mean— it’s what we do on Sundays. Same thing— week after week.

Isn’t it time somebody tackles our boredom and shakes things up a bit. Jesus certainly did. Ask yourself these questions—

What difference is my faith making to people outside the church?
What challenges me to make a difference?
What can I do to overcome my uncomfortable feelings when I am surrounded by normal people?
How can my life matter to others?
What do I need to do to change?

The Resurrection took the Jesus’ disciples by surprise. May He surprise us still, today. Be afraid!

For what it’s worth,

Gary

Cinderella

If you have not seen the 2015 version of Charles Perrault’s book, Cinderella, you need to drag your family to see it as a super family outing. It is amazing. And if you don’t fall head over heels for Lily James there is something wrong with you. ‘Nough said.

The most amazing thing about the production are the two themes that screen writer Chris Weitz has chosen to emphasize— courage and kindness. These two tracks run throughout the movie as Cinderella tries to cope with the death of her mother, and then her father. Her evil step-mother, played brilliantly by Cate Blanchett, is ‘Ella’s constant nemesis; she remorselessly tries to belittle Ella and turn her into the family servant-girl. Nonetheless, Ella is resilient, and rebuffs her step-mother’s assaults with a silent (mostly) inner determination. In the end, Cinderella marries the Prince and they move into the castle and turn her former domain into a homeless shelter for wayward girls…, or, something like that. Just go see it.

As for Cinderella’s two guiding principles, bequeathed to her by her dying mother, we would all do well to incorporate them into our own life-principles— courage and kindness. There is so much pain and suffering in our world at present that those who exhibit courage are the ones who will press beyond the hurt and overcome life’s daily adversity. This courage is not just those living in Iraq or Syria, the Ukraine or Libya; many of us in more stable society also suffer from broken lives, broken promises, deaths, and betrayals. We have a choice set before us— to give into the painful experiences and live a beleaguered life, fraught with disappointment and depression, OR, to face our fears and circumstances with that inner strength we didn’t know we had. That’s courage.

Then there is kindness. Many Christians can muster the wherewithal to become courageous: but to remain imbued with kindness toward others, that comes from a totally different source of strength. Maintaining an active position of kindness in life is no simple task. There are so many things, and people, who can unnerve us, rattle us, and piss us off that we find it almost impossible to be kind to everybody; maybe some, but not to all. Frankly, some people are just plain unlovable; others aren’t worth the effort, let alone treating kindly. But aren’t they exactly the people Christ has called us to love? Aren’t they exactly the kinds of people who need it most?

Just to reinforce this point, you will only need courage when you face genuine adversity. If you remain in a place of safety it is unlikely that you will ever need to call upon Christ for courage. If you surround yourself with people who are nice to be around, you will never need to exhibit true kindness to those less likable, let alone to the mean and difficult to be around.

So, please, let’s not hide in safe, clean castles (or churches) while the world outside is in such filth and pain. We can do so much if we put our hearts and minds to the task. “And lo, I am with you always… .”

For what it’s worth,

Gary

Vermicompost

Vermicompost is the product or process of composting using various worms, usually red wigglers, white worms, and other earthworms to create a heterogeneous mixture of decomposing vegetable or food waste, bedding materials, and vermicast. Vermicast, commonly known as worm poop, is the end product (pun intended) of the breakdown of organic material by an earthworm. -Wikipedia

We had a cute little depressing nursery rhyme when I grew up— “Nobody loves me, everybody hates me; I’m gonna go eat worms.” ‘Turns out that might not be a bad idea. Worms seem to have a way of turning organic materials into a super-rich fertilizer. Eventually, they will even turn you and me into fertilizer. Doesn’t that just make your day!?! So the next time you feel like $#*%, enjoy it! You’re finally on your way to making a difference in this world. Worm poop at last!

You can find a ray of hope in everything. In pain, in prison; in terrible poverty or in facing death, there is always a hope that beams within us just below the surface of what everyone else sees. Why is that? Where does it come from? I believe it is a remnant of the glory of creation, where the entire Universe came into Being. Birds have it, I know dogs do, and children…, they have it. WE have it too; it’s just that we’ve allowed it to be buried deep within the dark void of our souls, unable to break through to the surface.

I’ve had my share of pain and horror in life, betrayal and judgment: somehow I’ve always been able to feel that glowing ember of hope, burning deep within, underneath the anguish of the moment, or month, or year. I truly believe that it was placed there by our Creator; it’s there to remind us that we are not alone. That leftover spark from the first millisecond of time is what still connects us to the Universe and to the God who made us. If I did not believe that, I would be no more than a speck of dust— a compilation of atoms that even the worms wouldn’t want. That connection is the real “god-particle.”

So the next time you feel like worm-poop, try to feel that tiny glowing spark of Creation still glowing with you. It’s there. Go digging. [Note- You might have to dig through a lot of worm poop to get to it.]

For what it’s worth, poopy-head,

Gary

Getting lost

Most of us, at some time or another, will get lost. It may be as simple as getting lost on back roads or forgetting where your glasses are; or, more seriously, getting lost in life; that is, losing your sense of direction, purpose, and/or identity. In short, you no longer know where you are, who you are, or where you are heading.

A dead stop.

In the midst of that empty confusion certain questions start to arise—

How did I get here? What could I have done differently? How do I start to dig out of this mess? More importantly— How do I find myself again? Who am I now? What do I do next?

Anxiety starts to immobilize your spirit; you cannot take any action for fear of further failure. But you have to do something. Anything! Here are some of the things I’ve done when I’ve gotten lost.

1. I start taking small steps. What are the little things you can definitely accomplish that will bring some semblance of stability or order to your life? Do that. Then do another one.

2. Keep in mind that when you are lost everything is a risk. Things you used to do as a simple matter have now morphed into insurmountable monsters. Nonetheless, you must face those monsters to overcome them. I had to. And I corralled a cadre of friends to stand by me as I faced them.

3. Don’t ask God to do for you what you must do yourself. He is definitely in charge. But we are not mindless robots. He expects us to act responsibly with the time He has given us.

4. God can’t direct a parked car. Start moving. If it’s in the wrong direction, He’ll redirect you.

5. Establish NEW points of reference for your journey. The former points of reference are gone; you’ve already passed them. If you want to find your way again, you’ll need to discover a whole new set of reference points to guide you. I find I need to cut back on my activities to give my mind, and heart, time to process the mental & emotional shift. What will most likely be the next sign along your path that you are getting back on track?

With all the variables we have to juggle these days it’s easy to get lost along the way. You have to work hard to get back on track. So get to it. Drive! You will not stay lost for long. [Proverbs 16:3.]

Honor God, honor people…, make a path,

Gary

Groundhog Insurrection

After this past week of weather catastrophes it seemed a propitious time for a little fun. So let’s start with this odd question— What kind of culture could ever choose a Ground-hog’s emergence from his burrow and turn it into a national event?!? I mean, really!?!

Well…, that would be the United States. No other nation would use free-speech so frivolously. Nonetheless, in the northern hemisphere, it is the dead of winter. It’s dreary. It’s Sno-maggedon. Depressing. SAD, Seasonal Affective Disorder, blankets every city, county, and state. It’s a wonder we get through it at all. But we do have our skiing, snow-boarding, winter camping…, and warm fires, and hot chocolate, not to mention hot-tubs in the snow; 12+” more today. AND, Punxsutawney Phil, or Pete, or whoever it is now. Patricia? NAH! Real men would never stand for it.

First celebrated in Morgantown, PA (1841) on Candlemas Day, Groundhog Day was the forecaster of a second bout of winter or the heralding of an early Spring, depending on whether the little rodent saw his shadow. But earlier forms of GhD have been noted in both Germany & Scotland, two countries which definitely need an early Spring.

In my winters, getting out of bed in the dark just seems wrong. The cold, I can take. The snow, I love! But early mornings…, in the dark of winter! Not so much. What does get my warm feet on the cold floor is the thought that, today, I may just make a difference in someone else’s life. Right before the blizzard hit last week I handed a $20 bill to a homeless person. She looked up at me with tears in her eyes and said, “Thank you. I’m going to go get something to eat, now.”

Maybe we can’t change the weather with our actions, but we can most definitely change other things. Might I suggest we start with ourselves— then move on to help others grow. Small acts are sometimes quite significant in the lives of others.

What can you do today to improve another person’s life? Not to feel good about yourself, or for some kind of recognition; simply do something for someone else because it’s the right thing to do.

So venture forth, Punxsutawney Phil, it’s a new day! You work on Spring: We’ll work on today, and tomorrow, and the day after that. Stay calm; and dig out…, again.

Honor God, honor people…, make a difference,

Gary

Superbowl Insanity

Is it really that time of year?!? Amidst the swirl of inevitable controversies, we again face an evening of raucous TV, snacks which are hazardous to your health, and the consumption of way too much alcohol. And that’s before the game starts.

It’s the SUPERBOWL! XLIX, which is ancient Latin meaning xlix, pronounced ex-licks, which refers to your condition after you’re put too much Tabasco sauce on your hot dog.

The thing is, most (many, some, few) Americans find this football game the only thing to look forward to in the midst of a freezing-cold winter. But at a ticket cost between $7,000 and $18,120.00, it just might put a chill on some of your friendships. [These are pre-scalping, official prices.] So, you get to squander your money alone.

So what’s it all about? Sports, yes. Fans, yes. Big money, most definitely. But what else? It’s the best-of-the-best competing on a national scale to claim the title CHAMPION. Somewhat like the ancient Olympic Games; more like the Roman Coliseum, gladiators & all; except with a half-time show.

I admit to being one of those raucous fans who is a dedicated follower of the New England Patriots (Selah). I save the prohibitive entrance fee by sitting in our “Fire-Room” watching the game in front of a toasty warm (HOT!) wood-stove. Usually in shorts. It’s -5° outside: 89° in the fire room. Nonetheless, all the hoopla and hype leading up to the game, not to mention those incredible commercials, draw me in like I was sitting behind the wheel of a Bugatti Veyron at 200 mph.

But what has all this to do with real life; with the everyday rhythm we fall into as a necessity to survive and flourish? It raises a major question for us all— What draws us to our feet in excitement and passion? What, who, is worth rooting for in life? Who are the real heroes, the champions of our lives? And the all-time BIG question—

For what (or who) are we giving our lives?

None of us is an island; although self-sufficiency remains one of the primary American values. We want to believe we are the Masters of our ship, the captains of our fate. The reality is we all live in a global community that needs each person to contribute their unique talents, skills, and personality. And your role is…?

So, enjoy the Super Bowl. But remember to come back into the fray and make a difference when it’s all over. Go Pats!!!

For what it’s worth,

Gary

Mostly Pure

If you’ve ever driven ‘cross country on Saturday night you might have tuned-in to PBS’s PRAIRE HOME COMPANION, a weekly broadcast of Garrison Keilor, onetime resident of the ill-fitted Lake Wobegone, and modern satirical comedian.

The show is “sponsored” by the fictitious product “Powdermilk Biscuits,” whose slogan is “Made from whole wheat raised in the rich bottomlands of the Lake Wobegon river valley by Norwegian bachelor farmers; so you know they’re not only good for you, but pure … mostly,” which “give shy people the strength to get up and do what needs to be done. Heavens they’re tasty and expeditious.” Powdermilk Biscuits has its own theme song, sung by Keillor every week. And NO, I’m not going to sing it for you.

It has always been fascinating to me how something can be “mostly pure.” I question this every time I read the ingredients listed on our food products. “Mostly pure?!?” I think. What does that mean? I also think of it at funerals when people speak of the deceased as “a good man.” It’s the reflection in their voice that gives me pause— like they’re trying to convince themselves of it.

Defining anything as mostly pure causes me to wonder if we even know what pure actually is anymore. A girl who is a virgin is defined as pure as she approaches marital status. “Pure 100% Virgin Olive Oil” makes me curious about what the other olive oils are. Are they like Dove Soap— “99.99% pure.” It’s almost as if being described as pure is derogatory, especially if you are a young lass. I mean, who wants to marry someone who is still a virgin!?! Really.

Our culture doesn’t seem concerned with being pure in any way whatsoever, whether it be sexually, morally, politically, or in family and business priorities and commitments. Why is that?

Here are just four causes for our loss of concern for purity—

1. We’ve become jaded. Thanks to modern media we can learn everything about anybody. It’s on the Internet, in the Tabloids, and on Headline News. We’ve grown accustomed to our public figures, be they politicians, athletes, or celebrities, being “dirty” in some way. And we simply accept it.

2. It’s all about winning. UCLA Bruins football coach Henry Russell (“Red”) Sanders has said “Winning isn’t everything: it’s the ONLY thing!” (1950) Win at all costs, by skill, cheating, trickery…, whatever. Just win!

3. Our base concern is the Bottom-Line. Making money is the only thing that matters. Screw anybody, just to make a buck. Remember the Wall Street broker’s answer to the question? “How much money is enough?” “More!” That’s why lawyers are brought in to arbitrate an agreement. It is assumed that both parties will write the contract in their favor exclusively. Purity and fairness never come into the equation.

4. A total abnegation of personal and corporate (not to mention governmental) Integrity. We no longer have a problem with disguising a lie as a truth, or with omitting certain data to make ourselves look better. Pragmatism has supplanted personal integrity in unfathomable ways.

To change this cultural-life pattern is no simple task. But we must start (yes, again) to correct our ways before God and our fellow men & women. Might I suggest we start with our own lives and relationships, and then press on to demand some degree of personal integrity and purity from our cultural leaders? 99.99% is sounding pretty good. Mostly pure!

For what it’s worth,

Gary

Let it go

Let it go!

We all have things in our past that we need to let go. The movie Frozen reminded us of this in the most beautiful way. Thank you Elsa. Although I did wonder if you didn’t go too far at times; like the proverbial throwing the baby out with the bath. Your letting-go was definitely a reflection of your rebellion— against your power, against obedience, and against everything you had been trained to be.

But it didn’t have to be that way. When people listen to their inner-rage, without the counsel of someone wise, they tend to let go of too much. We push people away so we can feel strong, safe, dominant over everything around us, but we are detached from it. Insulated from external influence, we become islands of isolation, convinced we can make it on our own, with no need for anyone else. This happens when some girl breaks up with you, or your marriage of 25 years comes crashing down around you; or that job you were committed to lets you go as part of a “downsizing.”

Some questions we all need to answer are—

1. What kinds of things need to be let go?

2. What are healthy ways to let go?

3. What dare not be let go?

1^st– What kinds of things need to be let go? Anger comes to mind; so does revenge, resentment, an unforgiving spirit, and the like. Too often do we carry our past with us to our detriment; it eats away at our souls and defiles our flesh. FEARS must also be let go.

2^nd– What are healthy ways to let go? Processing externally with a professional counselor is probably best; or, just a good drinking buddy. Tea or Single Malt Scotch; what’s the difference! Writing a list of things you NEED to let go of is also a good idea. Make two copies— the 2^nd one for your tea buddy or counselor. Accountability always produces more results than self-monitored goals. Commitment to put an end to ruminating over past hurts is a must. Prayer is a given; you need God’s help to make this work.

3^rd– What dare not be let go? Personal, moral character! Commitments. Personal integrity. The ability to love others when there is very little left of yourself. An ability to be vulnerable. A desire to live sacrificially. The need to be responsible with your own life and for those in your care. The gift of play. Your own ability, and need, to forgive others. And the strength to love those who have hurt you.

These are just a few of the many ways you need to let go; not of yourself, but of those things that detract from who you are as a person, as a creation of God, and as someone who has much to contribute to the world around you. So, get started, get moving! No one can do this but you.

Cold never bothered me anyway.

For what it’s worth,

Gary

Troubled

What troubles you? Money? Family? Relatives? Competition at Work? Feelings of failure? Emptiness? Mistrust? The list goes on. There are so many things that can get under our skin and irritate us without let-up. Some of us live our entire lives in frustration, crisis mode, turmoil. Nothing is ever settled. Nothing ever seems to work out. William Shakespeare (1564-1616) put it best—

Double, double toil and trouble;

Fire burn, and caldron bubble.

~Macbeth

In life, troubles will come; that’s a given. The issue is how we face them when they do come. Some people ignore their troubles, believing if they don’t address them they will go away. They won’t. Others put their troubles out of their mind, pretending they don’t exist. They do. Still others face their problems but have little hope of overcoming them alone. Yet they push on, commiserating with no one.

Most of us are troubled about something-or-another most of the time. Something is always troubling us. So please forgive me if I offer this sound, if risky, advice.

1. Start with a thoroughly gut reaction! Cry, yell, sulk, hit something (not someone). If your emotions are raw, let them be raw. When something is eating away at your core you need to address it first at a primal level of gut reaction. Then, walk away. Get over it! After some time has passed, even within the same day, regain your composure and start to think clearly, peacefully. Address the issue head on. A true friend may be needed to give you honest advice..

2. If you are an external processor, talk with a trusted friend who has some wisdom. If you are an internal processor, get alone for an extended time period; ruminate. Drink tea & remain calm.

3. DO SOMETHING. What should be done first to solve this problem? What RESOURCES can be drawn upon to help you?

4. Evaluate if your actions made a difference. To what degree did they help toward a solution to these troubles?

5. What’s next?

6. Pray for God’s wisdom and insight. You are not in this alone. If you do not believe in God or prayer, do it anyway. There might be a big surprise in the light at the end of the tunnel. (NO, not a train.)

7. Learn to ask the questions that need to be asked; even if it turns out that YOU are the problem.

There are very few troubles that come our way that do not have a solution. Whether it comes from private pondering or picking the brains of our friends, or turning to God, these are always ways to face our fears and our foes, and to overcome them. DO NOT give up!

For what it’s worth,

Gary

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