After There’s Nothing Left: The Incredible Lightness of Being

In 1988 the movie The Unbearable Lightness of Being was released. It was a love story, of sorts; a sad one, to be sure. But the title lends itself in our understanding of depression and the importance of soul clarity. Contrary to the beliefs of Albert Camus, Jean-Paul Sartre and other existentialists, clear sight does not flow out of the depths of despair. Rather, it comes with the forgiveness and the freedom experienced in the releasing of your soul, the cleansing of your life of all the grime and evil that has taken up residence. Clearing-out of all such added weight of depression and despair frees the soul to a level best described as an incredible lightness of being.

This is not to say that some of life’s residual grunge will not cling to you. It will. And you will be tempted to return to it at times. (Remember the dog-to-the-vomit metaphor.) But as more muck is shed, the lightness of your being is able to rise above the din of your past to see your future more clearly. Of course, this can only be attained if you decide to discard the muck. Soul cleansing is no one-time event. You will find yourself doing it throughout your life’s journey.

If you sense a loss of perspective and clarity along the way, it may be time for some de-mucking again.

For a clear Biblical framework of soul clarity, I would refer you to 2 Peter 1:1-11. In this one paragraph we find the sequence of characteristics that must come into play if we are ever to see things clearly. Please read this paragraph with some diligence and inquisitiveness—

^From:Simon Peter, a bond-servant and apostle of Jesus Christ,

To those who have received a faith of the same kind as ours, by the righteousness of our God and Savior, Jesus Christ: ²Grace and peace be multiplied to you in the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord; ³seeing that His divine power has granted to us everything pertaining to life and godliness, through the true knowledge of Him who called us by His own glory and excellence. ⁴For by these He has granted to us His precious and magnificent promises, so that by them you may become partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world by lust. ⁵Now for this very reason also, applying all diligence, in your faith supply moral excellence, and in your moral excellence, knowledge, ⁶and in your knowledge, self-control, and in your self-control, perseverance, and in your perseverance, godliness, ⁷and in your godliness, brotherly kindness, and in your brotherly kindness, love. ⁸For if these qualities are yours and are increasing, they render you neither useless nor unfruitful in the true knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. ⁹For he who lacks these qualities is blind or short-sighted, having forgotten his purification from his former sins. ¹⁰Therefore, brethren, be all the more diligent to make certain about His calling and choosing you; for as long as you practice these things, you will never stumble; ¹¹for in this way the entrance into the eternal kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ will be abundantly supplied to you.

[New American Standard Bible, 1963-71]

This sequence— faith + moral excellence + knowledge + self-control + perseverance + godliness + brotherly kindness + love = clear vision and long range sight. This sequence will naturally lead to soul/whole clarity. Why? Because you have regained a sense of purpose and are making a difference.

⁸For if these qualities are yours and are increasing, they render you neither useless nor unfruitful in the true knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.

A lot of soul-searching must proceed the stillness of a heart resting in itself, in God, and in the confidence that you are doing what you are designed to do.

Honor God, honor people, & be a pain in Satan’s ass,

Gary

Dr. Gary Davis, President

NEXT— After There’s Nothing Left— silence.

After There’s Nothing Left: Digging Through the Dirt

Scrutinizing who you are as a person will create a richer point-of-clarification of who you are to yourself and to those around you.

This point-of-clarification happened to me somewhere between ages 38-40. My wife and I had just gone through some of the most devastating experiences of our lives— the loss of a pregnancy, the loss of a livelihood, the loss of close friends and coworkers. Add to that my impending surgery for TMJ (Temporo-Mandibular Joint Disorder), which turned out to be very painful, and you can imagine our distress and discouragement. We were at the bottom of our lives. It became apparent that I had given up on living any kind of productive, useful, (let alone) creative life ever again.

But, somewhere in the latter portion of my 39^th year of life I got mad, really mad— at myself and at the world around me. I fought every corner of myself, and a few other nay-sayers, to make a difference in this world. Again. What happened next astounded even me. My wife and I founded NEEDinc. Initially an evangelistic ministry that “tailor made” an evangelistic approach more suitable to our New England environment and culture.

I was alive again! My soul refreshed, my vision clear, my purpose rising ahead of me. I committed myself and all that we had to this new venture of training Christians to make sense of evangelism in the new, emerging postModern/postChristian world.

Soul Confession behind me, I began digging in the dirt clarifying what I was all about. For Soul Clarity involves a focus on a future path, of how and where to expend energy. It asks questions like—

What am I designed to do in the next phase of my life?

Where does God want me to spend my strength to make the most difference?

Everyone will come to a point in their journey where the question of what NOT to do is as important as what TO DO. Options DO change as wisdom increases and strength diminishes. Again, seeking the perspective of others who know you seems an advisable path.

Having founded and incorporated NEEDinc, we next constructed a Board of Directors. From Day One, NEED’s Board of Directors has provided me with consistent guidance that has kept me on the straight & narrow. Ok, not so straight, definitely not narrow, but definitively on a path which fulfilled the Mission of NEEDinc, and suited God’s design upon me, my strength level, and a course of action that kept me on track. Thank God for the critiques, criticism, caring, and cautions of friends!

For the only ways to clarify what you are designed for is—

To take risks, in fear & faith.
To listen carefully to the advice and criticism of those who know you best. (Including testing.)
Assess whether what you believe about yourself is proven accurate in the evaluations of your efforts.
In the affirmation that comes directly from the God who created you.

Soul Clarity works in two ways: first, to wash clean all the junk that has clouded your vision for so long; and, second, to grant you clear vision and long range sight. (2 Peter 1:11). Still, I must add that you will not continue to see things clearly if you clutter your purpose or cloud your vision with peripheral projects. There are many good and great things you can do. But what is the ONE THING you MUST do, no matter what? THAT is the question. Or, that is THE question we all must answer if we are to have a purpose for our existence.

Some lingering depression may still be there; but it will be couched in a revitalized purpose.

Digging deeper,

Gary

Dr. Gary Davis, President

NEXT— After There’s Nothing Left— the incredible lightness of being.

After There’s Nothing Left: An Intermission

popcorn

If you have grappled with any of the issues in these posts (book) so far you might want to take a break at this point. This might be especially true if you are in a critical place in your life, a tipping point, but without hope. I have found through my own emptiness that you cannot, should not, continue with self-analysis and pondering 24/7. To do so depletes your strength and creates fearful concerns where none may be warranted.

Most of us have a tendency to over-analyze. Then we over-analyze again, rolling around the data, the experiences, and interpersonal relationships in our heads to a fault. Too often, resulting in depression and loss of stability.

So take a break. Process what you’ve read so far.

I need a break. You probably do too. Dealing with depression and recovering your soul are not easy topics to dwell on for too long. Unless, of course, you are a counselor or psychologist, and it is your job.

So for the next two months These posts will address the issues of this Thanksgiving and Christmas Season. There are other things we need to consider and set aside time and energy to ponder. Some of the ideas I want to look at are—

Kindness
Caregiving
Being loving
Thanksgiving
Transitions in Life
Dealing with Your Past
Letting go
Crazy Celebration

Many of the people we know will find Thanksgiving and Christmas quite difficult times to live through. So let’s get down to the business of loving them in ways that reflect Christ, make a difference, and make sense.

Honor God, honor people, make a difference,

Gary

Dr. Gary Davis, President

NEXT— INTERMISSION— kindness

After There’s Nothing Left: This Gets Personal

There is a line from Shakespeare that reads “How do I love thee…, let me count the ways.” In an oddly related way, this is how I often think when I ponder my own sin(s). Here is a list of some of the areas where I have struggled.

A Need for Significance. For me, this has not been as much a need to control, to be in charge, as a need to make a difference. To be sure, nothing is wrong with this. Nonetheless, when it becomes a compulsion it ceases to be a gift to enjoy and is degraded to a self-promotional lust for influence.
A Desire to have the Best. Have I mentioned I like Volvos? A well equipped XC60 with heated-massaging seats and all the goodies to bathe you in luxury. Then there are well made watches— Patek Philippe, Breitling. True representations of God’s handiwork in creation. Or, so I tell myself.
A Sense of Self-Worth. Too often has the value of myself come from what I’ve done and the things I possess. But accomplishments and possessions weigh in very lightly in the grand scheme of the universe. My self-worth is turning out to be what I pass on to others.
Aloneness. Throughout my life I have been in leadership positions. I have become self-sufficient in many ways. Although, in recent years, I find myself surrounded by a host of people to whom I can delegate much of the responsibilities of leadership. Nonetheless, I find myself feeling terribly alone far too often. It is not the case; I know that. My aloneness is an irrational feeling of isolation which leaves me in a state of despondency and depression. It is a struggle.
Sexual fantasy. In a sense, I’ve told you nothing. What man does not struggle with this!?! For many this can be the same as drug addiction, or alcoholism. That was what it was like for me for many years. Now, not so much. But remember, I am a man just past 75 (stop laughing). If you are reading this in your 20s or 30s, it is still, probably, a very strong siren yowling in your heart and head. Do not let it take over your very being. Its cost…, could be your future.

These things drain my soul. There will be similar things in your life that will drain your soul. So when you find yourself drowning in self-pity and depression, you should probably do a lot of soul searching. But you may also throw guilt on yourself as a way of understanding your failure. In reality you may or may not be guilty.

Remember, our Lord is overflowing with compassion and forgiveness. He only calls to us to turn to him… and ask.

Honor God, honor people, make a difference,

Gary

Dr. Gary Davis, President

NEXT— After There’s Nothing Left— what forges forgiveness?

Things that keep me from fulfilling God’s design.

Continuing, there are a number of things that are at war within my soul to prevent me from fulfilling God’s design for my life. Maybe you have some of the same.

Doubts. The Christian faith is, well, exactly that— faith. As a former philosophy major I know full well that there are a number of things in our experience that cannot be verified. Faith is one of them. So also are love, history, time & space, and an after-life. To be sure there is evidence for their existence, but no empirically verifiable proof. Thus, I could be wrong about this whole God thing. But I do not believe so.

I have come to realize that empirically the most anyone can hope for is certitude, not certainty. Even in the sciences there is more faith than we might imagine. Get used to it. The more we examine a thing the more we influence its behavior. And this raises the level of doubt we have about the accuracy of our findings. My faith truly is faith. So at times I fall into a sea of uncertainty and doubt. Is this all real? I hope so; truly, I hope so.

Fear. Flowing out of Doubt is Fear. Intensive doubt leads to fear. Irrational fear, in my case. As I have written these pages I have faced fear as I have not known before. Not of any specific thing, just fear. For many others, their whole lives are gripped by fear! They live nary a moment absent of genuine, all-consuming fear. Fear of going outside. Fear of groups. Fear of driving on a freeway. Fear of others. Fear of being known. Fear of failure. Fear of being wrong. Fear of never being good enough. Fear blinds people of seeing what it is God has for them. It binds them in boxes too small for God’s plan for them. So they settle into those boxes and dare not to look beyond. They lose so much.

Fear can be overcome; but it is not a comfortable climb out of that box. It is a considerable challenge. You will need someone with a rope, a guidebook, a gentle hand, a commanding, encouraging voice. And someone to give you a push through. But anything, ANYTHING, is better than the confinement in your box of fear.

Arrogance. I’ve often found myself arrogant, too full of myself, to listen to others. (Others have mentioned this to me with little subtlety.) I’ve stubbornly stuck to my own way of doing things that just could not work. But it was my way. I lost a lot of friends acting this way. I also failed a lot more than I needed to. If only I had listened. But, no, I knew it all. It has taken me a long time to learn the words, “I was wrong. Forgive me. Are you still willing to help me?” Arrogance is simply an admission that we are insecure and therefore we must know everything; thus, we don’t even ask for the simplest of directions. Directions to a location, how to sew on a button, how to repair a lawn mower, or how to mend a damaged relationship.

It takes a strong person to overcome arrogance. A kind of self-blindness comes with arrogance that prevents us from seeing anything from any other viewpoint other than our own. Some of us don’t even want to hear, let alone consider, another opinion, another way of approaching a problem or situation. We dig in our heels and insist on our way, period. If our souls are ever to truly rest then we must give up our arrogance and become part of the human family: not as its center, but as a fellow traveler, learning from others who are much further along in their journeys than we might be. I’ve learned this the hard way. DO NOT follow in my footsteps.

Disapproval from Others. Let’s be honest, we all want the approval and acceptance of family, friends, work associates, and from those who lead in whatever field of common interest where we invest our lives. This is a normal part of socialization. We want to be a part of something: it’s called being in community. In many ways human beings are defined by their inter-connectedness, their histories, their commonalities, their family & kinships, their relationships…, everywhere. So when we come up against the disapproval of someone important to us, it is a mortal blow. We feel less of a person, unacceptable, at least for the time being, if not permanently. A simple parental “No” to some children will shatter them to the core of their being. For other kids, it will present a challenge to circumvent in some clever, devious way. We are all so very different when it comes to disapproval.

Most of my life I have met with disapproval in seemingly larger doses than normal. My father rarely approved of anything I did. In his eyes I could not even cut the grass right. When I bought my first car, a Volvo PV544, I was realigning the steering wheel when he screamed obscenities at me to let the entire neighborhood know that I could not do anything, ANYTHING, right. I knew right then and there that I would be on my own in life. During my college days my academic advisor encouraged me to drop out. “You’ll just never make the grade or measure up.” So encouraging. ( I completed my first Masters Degree before he did.) In my first professional job I was informed that I would need very close supervision. This devastated my confidence about ever getting things right. Then again, I saw my immediate supervisor three times that first year, once the second year, and only twice the third year. Odd definition of “close supervision.” I thought. I just kept pressing on and getting the job done.

My personal need for the approval of others has faded over time. I still like to have people approve of me; I just don’t need it. Approval or disapproval have been supplanted by knowing who I am and knowing what it is I am supposed to be doing on this planet. I know God’s design for me. Do you?

It’s really quite refreshing. Soul-lifting, actually.

There are a couple more things that keep me from fulfilling God’s design on my life. Thus, plunging me into further depression. Therefore, sadly, there will be a section “c” to this present section.

Honor God, honor people, make a difference,
Gary
Dr. Gary Davis, President

NEXT— After There’s Nothing Left— Confession- a way out of depression

After There’s Nothing Left: Imbalance & Deception

[Note~ I have been very tempted to comment on the murder of George Floyd along with the subsequent protests, riots, and killings. So much of this has inundated our news-media in so many forms that I will not add my outrage to make sense to this horror. Being raised in an inner-city gang-based neighborhood was enough to taint my perception of the “good” of man for the rest of my life. Instead, let’s direct our attention to further causes of depression— imbalance & deception.]

For years, my wife and I were involved in rock climbing and high–altitude mountaineering (10,000’-14,000’). Not so much in these days. But we knew the critical nature of maintaining balance and a sense of where we were on the mountain. It is much the same in our own lives.

Imbalance

A third cause of soul exhaustion in life is imbalance. It is similar to #1, Over-Commitment, but far more complex. Through either over-commitment or a general laze of long-term haphazard living, you find your life has come apart and unraveled; it is in shambles. You feel off-kilter about everything. You give too much energy and time to non-essentials and too little time and energy to truly important things. In this state you cannot make a decision about the simplest of things. And you feel like you are constantly teetering on the edge of collapsing in on yourself. If imbalance doesn’t produce soul-exhaustion, nothing will.

To maintain your balance, check in with the goals you’ve set for yourself. Measuring up? Or, ask someone who knows you how you come across these days.

Deception

It is pitiful to think that anyone would live a life of intentional deception. Sadly, too many of us do. Not in everything, to be sure; but in some areas of our lives we “fake good,” or “fake bad.” We pretend things are better or worse than they actually are. Or we try to put on a good front when we really do not have the slightest clue about what we are doing. (This may not be a bad thing in some cases.)

Deception burns up energy: remembering what you said to whom; recalling which persona you need to put on in which situation; or reworking the truth to fit the conversation so you come out looking better. Whatever it is, deception eventually sucks the life out of you and exhausts the strength of your soul.

Do not deceive yourself; this results in living a life as a shell, an untrue persona. We allow our minds to hide behind a projection of who we want to be, thus obscuring our genuine, transparent selves.

Honour God, honour people, make a difference,
Gary

Dr. Gary Davis, President
NEXT— Physical exhaustion, fear, & deep wounding.

After There’s Nothing Left: the art of recovering your soul

images I don’t know what I was thinking when I wrote that we would begin a series on Disruptive Technologies & Innovation.WAY too heavy for Summer reading. Let’s save that for the Fall.

Instead, let’s look at something a little lighter— Depression, and how to overcome it. COVID19 recovery period is a good time to sort through the hard times in your life and seek some resolution.

Most of my life I have struggled with depression. In my teen days it came out as insecurity, isolation, an inferiority complex. I believed I could do nothing right. People around me reminded me of that often, reinforcing my sense of fear and total uselessness among my peers.

Even during my wedding to Starr I remember standing there thinking, How could any woman in her right mind marry me?!?

As I grew into adulthood, I had some amazing successes in the things I accomplished. Finally, I admitted I was worth something, that I had something to offer the world. But throughout it all, people found fault with me. After the first presentation I ever made my supervisor challenged me— That was the best presentation I have ever heard. Where did you get it? The implication being that I was incapable of having written it myself.

On another occasion I was accused of having deep-seated insecurities because I used to much humor in communication. It could never be that I found people responded to humor and remembered the point more vividly than if I had assaulted them with their guilt. Wow!

The next 10-20 EMPulses are excerpts from a book I started writing in 2012. That was the year, according to the Mesoamerican (Mayan) Long Count Calendar that the world was supposed to end.

Drat!

So these subsequent articles come out of a life of rejection, misunderstanding, and a sense of failure.

Seriously.

Let me be up front with you and say that the analysis and solutions I will set forth are designed for a Christian mindset and heart. Still what I have to offer may be helpful to you even if you’re not a Christian. I will try to present these ideas to be helpful beyond the Christian point of view. But they will most assuredly be from a theistic reference point.

My Christian faith has buoyed me up in this struggle more than you could know. Let’s get started.

Honour God, honour people, make a difference,
Gary

Dr. Gary Davis, President

NEXT— Over Commitment & No Commitment

Suffering Hardship

You therefore, my son, be strong in the grace that is in Christ Jesus. ²The things which you have heard from me in the presence of many witnesses, entrust these to faithful men who will be able to teach others also. ³Suffer hardship with me, as a good soldier of Christ Jesus. ⁴No soldier in active service entangles himself in the affairs of everyday life, so that he may please the one who enlisted him as a soldier. ⁵Also if anyone competes as an athlete, he does not win the prize unless he competes according to the rules. ⁶The hard-working farmer ought to be the first to receive his share of the crops. ⁷Consider what I say, for the Lord will give you understanding in everything. 2 Timothy 2. [NASV]

There are areas on this planet where our Christian faith is not tolerated— Muslim dominated countries, Europe, the American marketplace and political arena. Genuine Christian faith is seen as an abnormality, a somewhat out-of-touch mythical hope in non-verifiable assertions. At varying degrees there is definitely a form of persecution being levied at genuine followers of Christ; in some places, it is demonstrably horrific, in others, like the United States, it is expressed as a slowly unraveling code of conduct being undercut in all areas of life.

We are allowed to hold our beliefs in our “deity” as long as we keep it to ourselves…, so far. But the paradigm shifts through Modernism to postModernism will eventually expose a postChristian sentiment that is most probably quite aggressive and vicious. The time is coming upon us when we will know the suffering of our brothers and sisters, both subtly and overtly, in other regions of the world.

Suffer hardship with me, as a good soldier of Christ Jesus.

Our adversary has always sought our destruction. Remember, he is described as a roaring lion, prowling about, seeking whom he may devour. [I Peter 5:8] Namely us.

WE dare not tell those who have recently joined the ranks of the redeemed that, now their sins are forgiven, their life will be a Christian cakewalk. It will not be so. We all have been enlisted in a great company of saints who have gone before and will come after, to lift the praises of our God and to serve the hurting, the dying, the poor, and the lost within themselves. And, yes, it is for this that we stand against our world to serve and not to use.

Our faith will be tested with constant disruptions as we try to hold on to what is right and good and pleasing to our Lord.

[Note: Since Monday was Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Day, I want you also to read this accompanying post on the disruptions we face today, the racism, and the complacency that grips too many of us. We dare not be neutral.] https://www.patheos.com/blogs/zackhunt/2018/01/words-martin-luther-king-jr-white-american-christians-need-hear-today/

Honor God, honor people…, make a difference,

Gary
Dr. Gary Davis, President

NEXT— disruptions & tenacity— entanglements.

“ad astra per alas porce”

lucky-pig-1843071_960_720 When John Steinbeck was in college he was told by one of his professors that he would become a published author when pigs fly. He liked the insult so much that he opened each pf his subsequent books with the phrase— ad astra per alas porce. “To the stars on the wings of a pig.”

Steinbeck would not be deterred from what he was designed to do by the critical comments of one person. It was as if the comment had steeled his resolve to prove his professor wrong.

It amazes me how so many of us give up so easily. One negative comment, one rejection, one disappointment, and we throw in the towel. How did so many of us get this way? Is it our educational system? Our family’s disapproval? When I was a young teen I could do nothing right in my father’s eyes; I couldn’t even cut the grass right!

Since those days I’ve learned to rise above the negative comments of my friends. [Albeit, some negative commentary should be heeded.] We all need to answer to a higher calling; one where we live up to our abilities and to the levels of accomplishment that God has designed us to achieve. This is not an easy practice to incorporate into our daily mindset. We are quite content to base our self-worth on the belittling of others. I knew I wasn’t good enough. Really?!?

For the nominal Christian, words like “I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me,” [Philippians 4:13], or “What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us who can be against us?” [Romans 8:31] seem to have lost their thrust. Our fear of failure has crushed them to the ground. Have we ceased to believe what is true?

If there is one thing genuine followers of Christ need to do in this present generation it is to regain their sense of adventure in their Christian lives. We need to truly trust God and take the risks our faith requires. There is no time left to continue in a Let’s wait to see what happens attitude. And the only way I know to learn faith is to step outside of our comfort zone into the uncomfortable. This will be a different step for all of us. For extroverts, they probably won’t even know they’ve done it. For introverts, it could be terrifying.

Nonetheless, our Lord calls us to it. What is our Christian faith without the faith part? Mere social alignment with a religious institution. Yeah…, that’s meaningful!

Our Christian faith could be so much more exciting if it were not mere religious attendance.

Flying with the pigs,
Gary

Of Cubes and Chaos: Paradigm Positioning 3- Dashed Dreams

When I was in sixth grade I had a crush on a girl. She looked a lot like this. Carla Jean Stewart- the love of my life…, in fifth grade. Alas, it was not meant to be. She moved, I moved. Never saw her again. My dreams of a bright future with my precious blue-eyed blonde crush were never to be.

Dashed dreams of childhood.

Since then I have known many dashed dreams- some of them more devastating than others. But I recovered, mostly. Today they’re just an ancient memory. And I’ve learned something.

Dreams are fun, fanciful, wonderful diversions from our realities. And it is good to dream them. (Most of them.) Some might even come true. Most, though, will hide in the back right corner of our minds and pop up later on in life. Like now.

I don’t dream of young beautiful blondes anymore; actually, I married one! But she was a brunette by the wedding. I didn’t care. She was perfect for me! She was God’s gift to me. Still is. Who cares about hair color!?!

Had I pined for my childhood crush I would have never met my wife. And if any of us hang on to a past love, dream, fantasy, etc., we will miss the better things our Father has in store for us. When I was first in ministry, I could see no other future for my life outside of the ministry’s opportunities for service. Little did I understand how I had adjusted my dreams to fit their realities, limiting both God and myself. What I am doing today is so far beyond who I was back then. What a surprise.

The monkey on the vine image still holds true. Sometimes you have to let go of the last vine before you can reach out and grab the next one. Or, as we’re more apt to say around here- God is full of surprises…, don’t trust Him. And if you believe that I’ll send you Zac Efron’s cell number.

Dashed dreams simply clear the way for you to move beyond your limited perspective to a more expansive, wilder, Christ-infused vision.

Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and watch your doors to be blown off. [Proverbs 3:5-6. Sorta.]

Dashed dreams are mere hints that you should be dreaming bigger, wilder, adventurous ways of God.

Get with the program.

Honor God, honor people…, and watch out for flying doors,

Gary

NEXT— Paradigm Positioning 4: stepping up our game.

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