…the glass is half-full

…the glass is half-full

Dr, Gary, Davis, Needinc, Clueless, Christianity, Christian, perspective, resources, focusYou know the lines— The glass is half-full. The glass is half-empty. Or, the engineering version— Someone made the glass too large. It’s a pint-sized metaphor of life, of one’s perspective on life. It questions whether we see life as optimists (half full), or as pessimists (half empty); or as engineers, who don’t talk in metaphors— it’s a design issue & has nothing to do with perspective. Maybe they are the realistic ones after all.

Personally, I have never cared whether the glass was half full, half empty, or designed wrong. Just drink it! Sometimes life will appear half empty. Drink whatever is there! You’ll need the nourishment it brings to raise the next glass. And when your life feels half full, you’ve only taken in ½ of what you need to complete the tasks God has set before you; be they corporate planning, child rearing, relationship resolution, or overcoming some personal dilemma. Drink the rest of the glass! You are only half way to getting done what is important in life. Actually, pour another glass: you’ll doubtless need that one too.

Some of us get so hemmed in by our perspective that we forget to take advantage of the resources sitting right on the table in front of us. Drink! Drink in the counsel of friends, professionals, spiritual directors! Drink in the refortification of the love offered you by so many of those around you! Drink of your own insights & discernment; you are not a useless blot of DNA! Drink in the empowerment and protections offered you by the God who made you!

There is a story in the Judeo/Christian Scriptures that takes place in the Judean Fall (Oct.-Sept.). The Feast of the Lord (Sukkot, the Feast of Tabernacles) was being celebrated to remind the Jews of God’s bounty in the Fall Harvest. For seven days a Priest would walk around the Temple. On the eighth day he would take a golden pitcher, draw from the water of the Temple Fountain, go to the Temple Laver (wash bowl) and pour out the water while facing West in a symbolic gesture of thanks and praise to God. It was on this eighth day that Jesus approached the golden pitcher before the priest arrived. He emptied it, outside the Temple, in front of all the people, and said, “Let anyone who is thirsty come to me and drink.  Whoever believes in me, as Scripture has said, rivers of living water will flow from within them.”

So, instead of focusing on whether you feel optimistic (up), or pessimistic (down), at this moment, why not drink fully of what God has set before you? I hear He has good taste in wine too.

 

Have a nice week,

Gary

distractions

Dr, Gary, Davis, Needinc, Clueless, Christianity, Christian, distractions, relationships, What keeps you from getting things done? For some, it is no less than life’s chronic interruptions-children crying, screaming, being teenagers. Illness. [Whoever finds the cures common cold should be knighted!] Piles of paper that needed your attention yesterday, last week…, last year. The basement, the attic, the lawn. Your relationship with your husband/wife, or parents/children. Wanting to be in a relationship: wanting to get out of one. Not enough money. Not enough time (a.k.a.- getting behind). Daydreaming. Fantasy games. Gaming…, and, of course, various addictions.

There is no end to the myriad of distractions that come assault us on a daily basis, preventing us from attending to the weightier matters of life. When I was a teenager I remember then Secretary of State Dean Rusk saying “A man without a singular over-riding purpose will waste his life doing important things.” His words have pressed upon me the critical nature of the passing of time. We all have the same amount; the question is what we do within its restrictions.

The issue here is not so much time’s management; rather, it is those things that distract us from accomplishing what we set out to do. Be sure that there will always be distractions. Some must be addressed immediately, but far fewer than we usually give in to. Pleasant distractions are the most appealing to follow. A sunny day, a simpler issue on my desk, a pleasant conversation with a co-worker. Difficult distractions-a criticism, a bodily injury, emotional turmoil, an accusation, or even a threat, are much harder to cast aside. They invade your mind and spirit and prevent you from clear, logical thinking, from being imaginative and creative, let alone being productive. These distractions dissipate soul, mind, and spirit. Some guidance-

1. Think about the distraction before you act. But DO act.
2. Resolve it as best you can as quickly as possible.
3. Accept guilt if it is warranted; seek reconciliation.
4. Leave accusation to the defense of God and others.
5.

No…, wait. This is not about some logical/rational, practical series of steps to get back on track. This is a matter of the heart. If you are passionate about something, someone, your heart will drive you to commit the greater part of your energies to it. Distractions are anything that dissuades you from your passion. Distinguish them from responsibilities. Responsibilities must be part of your passion. Passion is often mistaken for what you want to do. To be sure it IS what you desire; but desire’s context is duty. DO what must be DONE: it is a indispensable component of passion. Distraction decreases with fewer variables on the table.

Oh yes, one more thing. Honor God; honor people: make a difference.

Have a nice week,

Gary

Insignificant significance

Dr, Gary, Davis, Needinc, Clueless, Christianity, Christian, A theme that continues to pop up both in counseling and business these days is that of significance. Am I significant? What does it mean to be significant? How will I know if I am significant? There seems to be an inherent fear of being insignificant in all of us. We dread living lives of mediocre existence, of humdrum sameness, of being no more than background noise in the grand symphony of life.

Yet few of us who live seemingly insignificant lives realize the significant roles we play in the journeys of those around us. Many years ago I gave a lecture at Middlebury College on the importance of blending ones scholarly worldview with everyday practicalities— like taking out the trash. Eight years later I ran into a successful businessman in Mad Martha’s Ice Cream on Martha’s Vineyard who reiterated the eight points of my talk back to me; and then he thanked me for changing the course of his life. I didn’t even remember speaking at Middlebury College, let alone what I had said. What I deemed an insignificant lecture was quite significant for someone else.

Often, what we consider an insignificant act is used by God as something of great significance. “God is in the details.” once said Ludwig Mies van der Rohe (1886-1969), a German born American architect. It’s the little things that one does in life that are the ultimate contribution. Only a few are designated to discover the great mysteries of our God. [And you may yet be one of them.]

But there is a flip side to this coin too. There are hundreds of thousands of people whom the leaders of our society deem insignificant. The “little people,” the hoi-polloi, the middle class, the lower class; the people who matter not a grain of salt until the next election. If you believe you fit into this category, do not disdain your status in life; for you are truly mistaken. You are higher than the rulers of this world. The little acts of kindness, your heart of forgiveness and graciousness, add to your measure more than anyone with the power to govern a nation with a hand of might. Do not think of yourself as insignificant, a stay-at-home-mom, or a dad working far below his educational level; you are giving to others what you can to the best of your ability. You are of little insignificance; you are, rather, quite significant, beyond what you imagine.

Life should not be about the pursuit of trophies. To be sure, in sports, trophies are appropriate, as are markers through rites-of-passage, and awards for great achievement (like graduating from elementary school or receiving the Nobel Prize). But our significance, no matter our station in life, should come within— from the humbling realization that whether we like it or not, we are mirror reflections of the God of the universe. This alone should elicit a desire in us to contribute to the significance of others. Is this what you are about? Is it part of your company’s ethos and core values? Does your church seek to serve those outside its walls or only the faithful? (We already have Country Clubs doing just that.)

Significance, like beauty, is found in the eye of the beholder. You cannot make yourself significant. You can only BE significant. Your significance lies within the core of your Being. Rest assured in that. What you DO may never be noticed; but it will never be insignificant. We are all made of greater stuff.

Have a nice week,

Gary

afterlife

Dr, Gary, Davis, Needinc, Clueless, Christianity, Christian, afterlife, heaven, death, What will you be like when you are dead? People have been obsessed with this question for millennia. Ancient Egypt established the afterlife as a destination, a passing over to another realm, at least for the worthy (or wealthy). Emperor Qin Shi Huang (259 BCE – 210 BCE) did take it with him— 8,000 soldiers, 130 chariots with 520 horses and 150 cavalry horses, all in earthy terracotta. Dante Alighieri’s 14th century Divine Comedy describes for us the Nine Circles of Hell (Dante’s Inferno)— Limbo, Lust, Gluttony, Avarice, Wrath, Heresy, Violence, Fraud, and Treachery; as well as a depiction of Heaven as the Four Cardinal Virtures— Justice, Fortitude, Prudence, and Temperance, coupled with the Three Theological Virtues— Faith, Hope and Love. Hinduism offers us Reincarnation, Islam— Paradise, Christianity— Heaven (or Hell, depending). And postmodern scientific uncertainty— well, uncertainty, or nothingness, or, just the end. Then there are those Near Death Experiences, when people seemingly return from beyond and tell us of visions of light, a tunnel, even Jesus. Hum. Oddly, they report that it is the little things in life, kindness, caring, touch, forgiveness, that truly matter.

What seems amazing, though, is how much energy we expend on preparing for death, or at least for retirement. It’s all about protecting ourselves, isn’t it. Nothing wrong with that, of course; but history reveals just how obsessive we can become with it. On the other end of the spectrum are those who live for the moment. Future be damned! Live for NOW. This disregard for the consequences of our actions, though oft pleasurable, has its own built in self-destruct machinery. Obviously, we need to establish a happier, more sensible middle arrangement.

Though most religions offer us some revelations of the afterlife, most can be considered to be speculative, metaphorical, or at best, scant. Even within my own faith, Biblical Christianity, the descriptions of the afterlife usually describe encounters with God the Father, Throne Rooms, Judgment, etc. Even if these descriptions are merely metaphorical, versus actual, they are enough to give me pause about my own position before a Holy God. Shouldn’t we be giving our energies to making a difference in this life, on this planet, in the lives of some of those we know, and some we don’t know— quite yet! I’m not living my life, being good, to avoid Hell, or to gain a reward in Heaven. I live my life as honorably as I know how, as compassionately as I can be, and as in line with the principles set-up by God at Creation for this world to run smoothly.

As long as I am alive, I want to be someone who makes a difference in other people’s lives. (I’ll probably drive God crazy when I’m dead.) How ‘bout you?

Have a nice week.

Gary

certum est quia impossible est

Dr, Gary, Davis, Needinc, Clueless, Christianity, Christian,

 

Quintus Septimius Florens Tertullianus, or, anglicized as Tertullian, (ca. 160 – ca. 220 A.D.) was a prolific early Christian Berber author and the first to write Christian Latin literature. He coined concepts like TRINITY, “Three Persons, One Substance,” and this phrase—

certum est quia impossible est— It is certain because it is impossible

It is certain because it is impossible. What an intriguing approach to problems. Whether resolving the dilemma of the Triune nature of God or determining the primary substantial nature of mercury or H2O, Tertullian’s attitude was to conclude certainty in the probability of the impossible. Could he have been so confident of his resolution today, with scientific method at such a pinnacle of detailed observation and explanation?!? “Science” asserts that it is only a matter of time before it can explain everything. This does not leave little room for faith—it leaves no room for faith. [Albeit, science itself is fraught with assumptions about the nature of the universe and presuppositions that craft their own conclusions.]

 

But certainty because of impossibility!?! How does that work?!? Could it be that a thing seems impossible from one vantage point but obvious and simple from another? That impossible or not from either vantage point, from its own self-perception, it is, in fact, TRUE? (Okay, I’m coming out! I was a philosophy major in college.)

Let’s bring it down to earth again. Suppose you were assigned a task that seems virtually impossible. IMPOSSIBLE. Cannot be done, cannot work, under any circumstances! No way! Because of its impossible nature, why bother to even start it!?! Yet Tertullian presumed the inverse stance— its impossibility made it certain. If we were to assume that posture at work, in our home, in our relationships with difficult people (certainly impossible!), how might it affect our words, our actions and responses, or our emotions and attitudes? Not that the impossible isn’t difficult; but our attitude toward it might carry us closer to resolution than we might imagine. (Personally, I’ve long relished the reactions I evoke when I talk about how we intend to meet the challenges we face at NEEDinc. “That’s impossible!” Outwardly I respond with “Hummm. How so?” but inwardly I’m chuckling.)

When your confidence and source of strength lies within yourself, within your own well of intellectual/emotional capital, you, invariably/eventually, wear down/dry up, or simply quit trying. But if your certainty and strength lay outside yourself, say, in the God who created you, and you are consistently tapped into that source of strength, aren’t the possibilities… endless?

To accomplish what is possible takes time and tenacity: to do what is impossible takes a little longer…  and just maybe a closer connection with the God who made you.

Have a nice week.

Gary

triggers

Dr, Gary, Davis, Needinc, Clueless, Christianity, Christian, triggers, behavior, revenge, What sets you off? You know…, those little experiences or events that make something inside you go POP! Psychologically, these are called triggers— a stimulus that evokes a response pattern. Triggers have been used intentionally to activate sleeper spies, to provoke an argument as a deflection from the main point, or to tantalize a young lady through a simple touch. Unintentionally, we respond to buzz words (Jesus, @#$%, whatever, thank-you, nigger, jerk, etc), déjà vu situations, anger, aromas, and sounds that draw up recollections pleasant, or not so pleasant, from our past. Triggers set us off. They ignite something within us that changes our behavior for good or ill.

Some personalities explode upon the stimulus of a trigger. Other personality types (most notably, Brits) respond with a greater degree of civility, at least externally. Neither is more/less mature that the other: they are merely factors of personality and cultural propriety. The more “restrained” person merely has learned to put a lid on it, though seething animosity continues to ferment within.

Beliefs are quite another matter. They are the guiding principles by which we manage our lives and perceive the world around us. They tend to be systematic morés, firmly ensconced at the foundation or our being: they are, for the most part, consistent, cohesive, and compelling of the way we live. Here, too, triggers can have an effect. Some external experiences can rekindle our beliefs to become more fervent and play a more dominant role in our lives, like a blatant injustice, or a natural catastrophe, or genuine remorse for real guilt. Other triggers, like an insatiable lust, or desire for revenge, can demolish the connection we have with our beliefs in an instant. Though the beliefs may still be intact, they now offer little comfort or compass to regain our bearings. Triggers, clearly, can have a positive or negative effect on any of us.

But the questions I want you to grapple with through this emPulse are these—

  • What are your triggers? What sets you off? Positively? or Negatively?
  • What does it take for you to get so mad that you will finally DO something and make a difference?
  • If Jesus railed at the market-vendors He found in the Temple and drove them out with a whip, but sat still as a prostitute cleaned His feet with costly perfume, why do you believe you must always respond with the same demeanor to all situations?

Now, if you are content to live a simple, unruffled, composed, calculated, cautious, and calm life, just ignore all of the above. You have other issues to deal with.

Have a nice week.

Gary

weapons of self-destruction

Dr, Gary, Davis, Needinc, Clueless, Christianity, Christian, We’ve all met someone who seems to have a built-in self-destruct button. They make consistently bad decisions; some of them life threatening. We worry about these people; we try to help them; and, sometimes, we stay as far away from them as possible. Their personal annihilation often drains the life out of those around them.

Much more delicately, however, each of us fabricate our own weapons of self-destruction. Not intentionally, of course, but we do it nonetheless. Here are a few WSDs I’ve observed in people.

·  Over-commitment · Short-changing on sleep · Peopled-out
·  No time alone, down-time · Work is life: life is work · No time for even one friend
· Afraid to adapt, change, grow · Constant headaches · Loss of life’s excitement

There are more WSDs, to be sure. But these are the most obvious to others; if we’re honest, we’ve all sensed some of these signs in ourselves at one time or another. The question is what we DO about them. Here’s my next list for defusing some of these devices and lessening the extent of damage they can do in our lives.

1.       Take stock of your life. Not just a cursory band-aid review, but a full-fledged assessment of who you are and what you are doing. You may want a sounding-board person to help you establish an honest perspective on yourself.

2.       GO TO BED! Sorry, you DO need 8 hours. Talk with your doctor about a sleep-aid if necessary.

3.       For a time, limit the people in your life to a balance of feeders and drainers. i.e.- you need to be fed as you give out.

4.       Get away. Go for a walk (daily, alone), go to a hotel (no TV), get out in the woods…, something.

5.       Create a life that is separate from work. Anything. Take up knitting! Snow-football. Watch-making. Anything.

6.       You have to have at least one friend with whom you are completely safe. Find ‘em, feed ‘em, laugh with them.

7.       Start by brushing your teeth differently, then shift from boxers to briefs & vice-versa. Try doing something completely unusual for you. Hug people you’ve never hugged before. Smile at your enemies; send them gifts. Anything!

8.       Headaches are our body’s cues that we are pushing too much. [Some people can push more than others.] Go to a medical doctor and get some perspective…, and some proper medication.

9.       If nothing in life excites you any longer you are in the grasp of some form of depression. You need to talk to a professional counselor, psychologist, etc. more than anything the loss of a zest for life will destroy you. DO NOT let this WSD run its course.

Remember, it is never too late to regain your equilibrium in life. Our Creator did not make us to fall apart; that’s our doing. Let Him help rebuild your life into something remarkable, full of life, and maybe a little outrageous!

Have a nice week.

Gary

insightinfusionimplications

Dr, Gary, Davis, Needinc, Clueless, Christianity, Christian, insight, ideas, Edison, It’s in those frantic, life-is-too-full periods of life that flashes of insight come to us more frequently. Granted, having an incredible insight while sitting on a beach as tropical breezes blow over you is the preferred way of receiving an insight, it is more likely that they will hit you when you are too involved to take note of them. So much has been lost to human innovation due to a loss of a momentary insight that might have cured the common cold, rid the world of political positioning, or developed a galactic hyper drive. Carrying pen & paper (PDA, SmartPhone, voice-recorder, etc.) with you just might save the world.

Insights are wonderful things; they spark the imagination, solve problems, create new realities, gadgets & industries. They move the human race one step further away from the cave. Some people seem to have more insights than others:  they are people who are always imagining— imagining different ways of doing the same things. The wheel comes to mind, as does language, the alphabet, the printing press, the assembly-line, the computer, the internet, and deciphering the dynamics of cross cultural communications.

There are serious implications for people who receive an infusion of insights. [Not for those who came up with the Slinky, the Barbie Doll, or the trashcan for chewing gum.] For theirs is the responsibility to invent and utilize their day-dreamed devices in ways that benefit society, & the world’s peoples. But how does one go about the responsibility of bringing their insights to invention and usefulness? Here are some ideas—

  1. Surround yourself with other insightful people. You probably do this anyway, but if you don’t , well… . Working alone will never carry your idea to fruition.
  2. Find practical people who know how to make things work!  For example—  clever assistants (like mine…, and no, you can’t have her), lawyers, financiers to back the development of your idea, marketers , and patent officers that will protect your idea.
  3. Get used to rejection and failure. What was it Thomas Edison said about the light bulb? He hadn’t failed 10,000 times; he just learned 10,000 ways how not to make a light bulb. You know Post-it Notes, Velcro, the Hamburger—they all took decades to catch on. So be willing to admit it when you don’t quite get it right. Now try it again.
  4. Learn patience.
  5. Believe in what you are doing. Find people who believe in you and in your idea.
  6. Don’t let it consume you. Remember to breathe, spend time with family & friends. (I find that creating 2-3 new ideas at the same time provides me with more balance & reality checks than working on one all consuming idea.)

Remember what Jesus said, “For to whom much is given, from him much will be required; and to whom much has been committed, of him they will ask the more.” (Luke 12:48)  Create wisely, with gusto; enjoy yourself while you’re at it.

Have a nice week.

Gary