EmPulse for Week of April 11, 2011

leading in isolation

Most of the leaders I know express the sentiment that it is quite lonely at the top. Though they are entrusted with the most critical of decisions, they feel isolated from both those who have decreed their directives and those who must implement them. They have few confidants. They have few trusted friends in the workplace, or in parallel endeavors. Sadly, the patterns of isolation they have established at work are brought home: they are evident in remoteness from family responsibilities, events, and relationships. Wives become work: children seem an additional demand on time and energy. There is no rest anywhere in sight. Somber introspection, or alcohol, or an obsession with sports, ensues. Or worse. [These descriptors are not as true of female leaders: they face quite a different set of issues.]

For some, this isolation can result in suicide. For most, it means a life of silent fears and covert alliances, calculated relationships and constant, constant secretiveness. It eats away at a person’s soul to the point of despair, death, and a forlornness that overshadows all other activities. These are truly the living dead of our society—the six-figure shells who are the corpses of our corporations, governmental committees, and churches.

We have killed ourselves.

How is a leader to break the bondage of such insidious isolation? My list—

1.      Try Trusting—yes, it is dangerous. You have been betrayed. Try again anyway. Choose your confidants carefully.

2.      Feed your Soul regularly—no one on earth is going to care about you. Start with that assumption. Then find resources (books, people, mountain retreats, ocean houses) that both provide you with a relief from the daily grind and refortifies the spiritual/emotional/psychic bolstering of your soul. NOT once a year! Monthly, even weekly for a while, if necessary. You are useless to others ‘till you do this.

3.      Be Yourself—the time for acting in the role of leadership is over. BE the man God made you to be—no more, no less. This is so freeing I cannot tell you what it has done for me! NO MORE GAMES!

4.      Set REALISTIC GOALS—do not set grandiose goals because they look, well, grandiose. People want realistic leaders who live in the real world. Board members want CEOs who will tell them the world is their oyster. They are dreaming. DO NOT lie to them; tell them to get real. The same goes for shareholders.

5.      Inspire People—these are not the best of days. Don’t count on them getting better any time soon. You want a team who know you are on their side. They will work their fingers to the bone—because they believe in you, not the job, not the company (or church), but you. Even Jesus dwelt among us.

6.      Lead from the Heart and the Head—our society needs leaders, not managers. What’s the axiom? Managers do things right. Leaders do the right things. ‘Nough said.

7.      Do NOT be afraid to admit you are Wrong: Do NOT be afraid to admit you are Right, either. FIGHT for what you believe in!

Leadership can be very, very lonely. Sometimes I feel like it is just me and God against the world. How naïvely stupid of me! God would never leave me out there alone. How ‘bout you!?!

Have a nice week.

Gary

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EmPulse for Week of April 4, 2011

What’s Wrong with the World?

In mid-1907, the Times of London invited a number of eminent philosophers and writers of the day to contribute their thoughts on the question—“What’s Wrong with the World?” A brief contribution was quickly penned by one of the most celebrated writers of the day—

Dear Sir:

Regarding your article ‘What’s Wrong with the World?’

I am.

Yours truly,

G.K. Chesterton

What a bold, all-encompassing admission. He did not try to pass the buck, deflect, skirt the issue, shade the truth, or place the blame somewhere else. He merely admitted his culpability in the collective corruption of the moral conscience of his culture. He was to blame. Of course, the inference extended far beyond his terse retort. Chesterton implied quite clearly that we all are at the core of what’s wrong. Either through inaction or passive aggressive behavior, we all stand in the dock for our role in the wretchedness of our civilization.

Understand that this undoing of our social order is not merely about a loss of moral consciousness. It encompasses a span from the loss of manners, courtesy, simple decorum, and civility to a respect for basic human decency, an honorable regard for human life, and the understanding that we each have a responsibility to make this small planet a better, safer place for future generations.

So why is it that so many of us have such a difficult time acknowledging our own botch-ups in life? Are we so insecure that we must be right all the time? Are we not allowed to forget something important a little too often? When was the last time you remember being perfect? My last time was in late April, 1987. Since then, not so perfect. But I have honed my skilled in apologizing, in admitting when I am wrong. Not to my surprise, people have been actually appreciative of these endeavors. Maybe I’ve learned something?

Still, our world feels like it’s going to hell in a hand-basket. Social niceties, like opening a door for a lady, have been supplanted by some dumb idea of equality. [Although why women would ever want to be equal to men still eludes me. What a step down!] The world at large seems torn into rifts of East & West, intentional racial/ethnic inequity, Islamic tribal rivalries (Sunni/Shiite/Sufi), and conflicting terrorist ideologies; not to mention the inevitable decline of Western economic rule giving way to emerging Chinese supremacy. These early decades of the Twenty-first Century are not witness to mere paradigm shifts: we are reshaping the future before it has yet to be formed.

You can view these times as catastrophic, calamitous, collapses of the world as we’ve know it. For so it is. But it is also a time for us to rise to the occasion to make a difference. We do not have to be perfect; we just have to act on our convictions of what is right, and good, and decent. I leave you with a quote from one of G. K Chesterton’s most collegial adversaries—

This is the – true joy in life, the being used for a purpose… being a force of nature instead of a feverish, selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy.

– George Bernard Shaw

Have a nice week.

Gary

EmPulse for Week of March 28, 2011

Affordable accountability?

One of the distinguishing marks of leadership is accountability. First, a leader is accountable to those who follow him/her. A leader’s responsibility is to raise their vision and productivity and to provide for their sustenance and safety. Second, leaders are accountable to those in authority over them; whether it be a military chain of command or a corporate structure, leaders are accountable to someone higher up, VP to President to CEO to Chairman of the Board to shareholders. We all live within the autonomy of accountable. Free to act within boundaries.

But the core of accountability is to one’s self. Invariably, accountability begins within a person as they set their own aspirations and boundaries. Those who live without ambitions or borders rarely amount to much; for they have given into the belief that license equals true liberty. Such is not the case. Instead of liberty, license leads to a lurid irresponsibility that affects not only one’s self-image, but also a person’s relationships with others. Even God Almighty granted us perimeters of protection that would clarify for us how we were to live in this world and be responsible for all therein.

Accountability does not come cheap. It always costs someone something on both ends of the relationship. For the one in submission it implies obedience, trust, compliance and regimen within the boundaries of commitments made. For the one in authority it means trustworthiness, nobility and honor, clarity of vision, and a passion to inspire others to work together toward a common end. It involves both parties laying aside personality differences (nay, even utilizing those differences), disregarding minor variances in procedure or even mentoring philosophy, and putting the goal to be accomplished as pinnacle.

If that goal is the nurturing, the maturing, the refining of the other individual, then cost becomes secondary to all other considerations. What is your education worth? What are your children worth? What would you not sacrifice to help them find fulfillment in life? Let’s move further— What are you passionate about? What would you not give to fulfill your dream? Or are you seriously willing to live in the doldrums of ship with no sail, no destination? You see, accountability is often seen as the bondage of one individual to another, of a servant to a master, a rank & file soldier to their chain of command. The reality is significantly differently. True accountability is costly for all involved; in a sense, it is never quite affordable…, for at least one person in the equation, and often, for both. Quite simply, accountability costs.

So the next time you find yourself in an accountability relationship, know that someone has, and will, pay a great price. And it you are asked to be accountable to God…, well, think of the cost, His, and yours.

 

Have a nice week.

Gary

EmPulse for Week of March 14, 2011

Reverse engineering

It was after I was abducted by aliens that I started to see things differently, think differently, and act peculiarly.  Or so I’m told.  I feel no different…, basically. I think. Although, NASA has asked me to sit in on a Hi-Tech Table Team to discuss reverse engineering; and I never even studied how to drive a train. [I do seem to know a lot about gravity-modified space-folding and mass/variable polar fusion.]

But that’s not was we’re talking about, is it? And, no, we’re not talking about retro-fitting alien technology to produce our own spacecraft or super-weapons either. Our reverse engineering has more to do with a deep desire to journey back in time to relive some of our worst moments, our worst decisions, our most inappropriate actions, and to make things right. We each have past experiences that have been very painful—some, of our own making. We have flown off into a rage and said things that deeply hurt another. We want to make that right. We have done other things that hurt someone physically; maybe crippling them for life. We want to make that right.

Seeking forgiveness for wrongs we have inflicted on others is a good thing. If those people are still alive, forgiveness may, possibly, be granted. If they are dead, you live with your pain. But you cannot deconstruct the past to read an alternate history. What’s done is done. Whereas it might be possible to rectify the injustices of your past, they remain in your soul as tight, dark specters. In many instances your only solace will come from the God Who created you, from His forgiveness for all you’ve done or left undone. To seek His forgiveness is no small matter. It demands that you take your place as a creature among His creation: it demands you acknowledge the God Who created you as such and none other. It is to know your place in the cosmos and to assume your rightful responsibilities.

Most of us will always dream of reverse engineering—being able to change some of the things we’ve done in our past. But we cannot. The most we can do is to take steps to rectify our actions through corrective actions in the present; and to seek forgiveness for the things we have done—from those we have wounded, and from the God who made us to be otherwise. Thus, we can change the future and bring some resolution and healing to deeds done wrongly.

We’ll be watching,

Gary

EmPulse for Week of March 7, 2011

decisions, decisions…

A wise person decides slowly but abides by his decisions. (Arthur Ashe, American Tennis Player, 1943-1993)

O, if only life were simpler, like in the old days. Really? You believe that? Life has never been simple. Complexity, convolution, conflict, and chaos have reigned since time immemorial! About the only simple thing we get to choose is which color M&M to munch. Life is a series of decisions; some critical, some important, some of less consequence. If you are one who does not like making decisions, you have a problem. There will not always be someone there who will tell you what to do— you will have to make a decision on your own.

Ergo, this little Ten-Point Primer on decision-making might be of some use to you. Enjoy.

1.      What is the nature of the decision? Complexity? Ramifications?

2.      What amount of time can you devote to this decision given the other areas of responsibility (read- time-commitments) in your life?

3.      What are the time-constraints on this decision? By when MUST it be implemented?

4.      What resources might you draw upon to help you make this decision?

5.      WHO should be included in your decision making process?

6.      Since your decision will affect the future, consider what might go wrong with your decision. How can you lessen its negative impact? What feasible scenarios might you create as secondary courses of action? [In general, there is always more than one way to do something.]

7.      What will your decision cost— financially, emotionally, relationally, professionally?

8.      How might spending time alone before God, listening, enable you to make a better decision?

9.      Some people need a lot of information before making a decision; others, not so much. At what point will you make the decision? Being about the future, it will never be totally certain, totally safe.

10.  Make the decision; implement it, live with its consequences.

There are few tools available to better gauge our growth toward maturity than our competence in making decisions. Risk, faith, trust, teamwork, fear, critical thinking, and just plain guts all come into play when we have to make a decision. The buck may stop with you, or you may be on a team that needs consensus; no matter the process, you come to a point of decision. By the best of your ability, so help you God, make a good one.

Have a nice week,

Gary

EmPulse for Week of February 21, 2011

dyslectic dreams

All of us dream. Most dream in black/white. Some dream in color. (I have taste, aroma and altitude sense in mine.) But some of us have dreams that are so vivid that they are hardly discernable from being awake. Among many top businessmen their successes were first envisioned in dreams, then fleshed out in profitable enterprises. In times of war there have been people who can sense an ensuing battle, image it inside their minds, and plot a strategy for a victorious resolution. On the flip side, some people live in their dreams because reality is too threatening, too unmanageable. Dreams can be so much more beautiful, so much safer. They simply drop out of life and live the fantasy.

We live in an era of unrelenting bombardment of both images and information. As a result, our minds have lost some significant ability to distinguish fact from fancy. The interplay runs deep. We think we have done something we have not; we remind our husband/wife of something we are sure we told them earlier. Or did we just imagine ourselves telling them? Our dreams become woven within our realities and form an amalgamated memory, irrespective of their veracity. Thus, we oft get things backwards, upside down, or mashed together. What is actually REAL becomes convoluted in our perception. We see through a glass darkly…. if we are even aware that we should be sorting through the mayhem of multiple meanings at all. Cogito ergo sum. Cogito. (I think therefore I exist. I think.)

The end result of this multiphasic-mental interplay is a loss of what is REAL, and what is IMAGINED. Not only do we get our dreams backwards, we get reality backwards as well. Dyslectic dreams produce dyslectic decisions—we have our life-facts so confused that our decisions about people, projects, and planning are based on truly fallacious assumptions. It is truly a conundrum: we need to dream to stretch the perimeters of our imagination; and we need to remember real-reality as the proper domain of our influence.

So many mental moves come into play when trying to solve problems, provide solutions, repair interpersonal relationships, or build cooperative trust over issues. It is tantamount that we have a clear grasp of who we are, of our present, real responsibilities and commitments, and of our abilities to handle what life throws at us.  Remember we live in community; DEPEND on the insights of others. DO NOT waste time trying to solve a problem for which someone else has already imagined the solution. DO NOT isolate yourself to such a degree that you miss the strength of melding the hearts and minds of others with yours.

Final questions to ruin your day— How many of your dreams have gone unfulfilled? How much time do you spend dreaming about what might be versus making it happen? How can you check your “facts” with others to know if they are real or imagined?

Our lives have a time-frame. Are you within the correct boundaries at this point in your life to make a difference in our world?  OR, are you still daydreaming? And please, get your realities sorted out! Confusing dyslexia with clear thinking is clearly dangerous.

Have a nice week,

Gary

EmPulse for Week of February 14, 2011

relearning love

Some people are born lovers. They love life, people, challenges, projects & problems. They give freely of their strength and energy to everything and everyone. They seem to have boundless energy. They are the cavalry, the Knight in Shining Armor, the Hero who sweeps in to save the day. Their aspirations for service, sacrifice, graciousness and greatness seem boundless. You know people like this; they seem unreal in some ways. True, in some ways they might be faking-good, believing they cannot let others down. But in a another sense they may actually be what you see—individuals who possess an indefatigable ability to love. If you encounter such an individual, do not discount them, or be suspicious: thank God for them in your life, for they are rare.

When wounded, they have the strength and fortitude to bounce back quickly, to love and serve and sacrifice again as if little had changed. It has, of course. They have been diminished—cut deeply to the core of their very nature. Yet over time they have disciplined themselves to allow the cut to penetrate and to wound, but not to kill. They have learned that healing is quickened by once again serving, giving, caring for others. Do they need love? Of course. Do they need to be served? Yes. But their life decision to love supersedes whatever needs they may have. More likely than not, they have tapped into an inner source of strength to which the rest of us have thus far not discovered.

Most of us love and love again. We love and we are wounded too. But we do not bounce back so readily. We guard our hearts, often for quite some time. We also leave trust behind, afraid of being cut deeply yet again. Our defenses become fences become walls become fortresses become high towers, untouchable by only a few, if any.  We need to relearn to love. To grant access to the person who hides within our body, behind our smiles, past our pleasantries, underneath our civilities. For once facades become fixed they are not so easily shed. They become us, and we lose our true self within.

Relearning love is not as difficult as it might seem. It is no less than a frightening decision turned into positive action. Start small or start with your greatest fear; it matters not. Just start. Our God has surprised many an individual who has ventured to take the first step. For it you do not relearn love you most assuredly will not have to learn death… , for you already have.

There is no remedy for love but to love more.

~ Henry David Thoreau

Have a nice week,

Gary

EmPulse for Week of February 7, 2011

Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons— for you are crunchy and good with ketchup

Dragons…, curious creatures to be sure. A friendly dragon. Hummm. Oxymoron? Dragons are mythological beings from an earlier era; never actually existed. Or did they? Surely there is nothing to worry about today; they’re no longer around. Are they? Are you sure? These thoughts flashed through my mind as I read the bumper sticker on the car in front of me. Do not mess in the affairs of dragons—for you are crunchy and good with ketchup. Not sure I like that chewy-crunchy part. Ouch! Guess I know what’s for dinner.

The point of the message stuck with me. DO NOT MESS WITH THINGS THAT DO NOT CONCERN YOU; ESPECIALLY THINGS THAT SEE YOU AS DINNER. OR TOAST. Yet that is precisely what many of us are called to confront, challenges that are greater than we can contend with, ordeals that might eat us alive or fry our energy to embers. Some of us plunge in head first; others research the situation to death; still others shrink back, afraid of being wrong or failing. Besides, it’s none of our business. Leave well enough alone. Dragons are too dangerous.

There are many fire breathing situations in life that unnerve us to the core. Getting married. Getting married again. Promotions on the job. Being the person where the buck stops. Driving in Boston. Driving in Damascus. Living a life of deception. Having an inmost sin revealed. Control types. Passive aggressives (silent killers). Discovering cancer. Sooner or later each of us will come up against our dragon—that which we fear to face. It may swoop in out of nowhere, nostrils blazing; or it may slowly awaken within, creeping up on us, jaws agape, ready to devour.

How do we prepare for the attack of the dragon? If your overall attitude toward living is one of fear, nothing will change; a dragon attack will only amplify your fear and force an inner paralysis. If you maintain a laissez faire attitude toward life, you may not even recognize a dragon attack until it is too late. If you live at the edge, always going for it, always gaining the higher ground, you probably have your sword drawn already. But most of us are simply not expecting to be devoured by our dragon. We lie contentedly beside them.

Life is not a see what happens next affair. It is either a conscious decision to live vibrantly or an unconscious decision to resign one’s self to personal fatalism. We were not put on this earth to “get by.” Ergo, some simple recommendations—

1.      Develop an honorable character. Having your sword at the ready still requires a skilled hand to wield it.

2.      A Fire Proof Shield is necessary to buffet fiery dragon breath. Find what you need to guard your integrity and stay behind it…, all the time.

3.      Surround yourself with fellow-warriors who do not share your strengths; most likely, they will not hold your weaknesses either. You dare not go up against a dragon alone.

4.      Make decisions quickly. Most decisions need less deliberation than we think; still, some need to be discussed at length with someone, anyone, more experienced that you.

5.      Learn from your mistakes & failures. DO NOT repeat them out of stupidity or precedent.

6.      Generally speaking, dragons are creatures of evil. Live within the greatness of God and leave trails of His graciousness where you journey. If you get lost, your friends (& God) can find you.

We are each called to mess in the affairs of dragons every day. Get used to it. Guard yourself against becoming dinner (or toast). Slay the dragon.

Have a nice week,

Gary