Did you ever feel like you’re striving for Perfection but you aren’t exactly sure what that is? For some of us it seems like a futile effort that can never be attained. For others, like me, it drives us nuts. I remember being perfect for a short time in 2007, April 7th, to be exact— from 1:14-2:01 p.m. But it passed.
Perfection, at least on this planet, is a myth.
So for those of us still striving toward Perfection, the perfect look, the perfect hair, the perfect family or job or whatever, allow me to pass on what I’ve learned about how to be IMPerfect.
Please note— I have not learned this from any of my friends. I have spent years developing my own imperfections all by my widdle self!
Here are 10 Precepts you can follow to truly develop your own imperfections.
1. Always make the same mistake at least twice— that way, you will be able to make it perfectly the next time.
2. When it becomes clear that you are definitively WRONG about something, learn to implicate others in a complimentary manner. Bringing others in on your failures builds comradery.
3. That being said, never, NEVER own up to your failures, mistakes, or “misspeaks.” It’s not your fault.
4. Never, ever try anything NEW. You could fail. Let someone else try it first: then fail.
5. Tell the truth only when it reflects positively on YOU. Truth, remember, is convenient.
6. NEVER seem perfect. Every day, dress or act in some way that others can find fault with you. This way you can seem imperfect and still maintain your superiority.
7. Make little mistakes to seem human.
8. Tell people little about yourself; your insecurities and screw-ups are closer to the surface than you think. Hide them.
9. There is absolutely no answer to a pretentious, bombastic self-aggrandizing personality. Assert yourself!
10. If you are not sure about something, speak with more authority.
Following these 10 basic precepts will assure your status as an ingenuinely imperfect person. Your perfection will remain intact within.
For what it’s worth,