Did you ever feel like you’re striving for Perfection but you aren’t exactly sure what that is? For some of us it seems like a futile effort that can never be attained. For others, like me, it drives us nuts. I remember being perfect for a short time in 2007, April 7th, to be exact— from 1:14-2:01 p.m. But it passed.
Perfection, at least on this planet, is a myth.
So for those of us still striving toward Perfection, the perfect look, the perfect hair, the perfect family or job or whatever, allow me to pass on what I’ve learned about how to be IMPerfect.
Please note— I have not learned this from any of my friends. I have spent years developing my own imperfections all by my widdle self!
Here are 10 Precepts you can follow to truly develop your own imperfections.
1. Always make the same mistake at least twice— that way, you will be able to make it perfectly the next time.
2. When it becomes clear that you are definitively WRONG about something, learn to implicate others in a complimentary manner. Bringing others in on your failures builds comradery.
3. That being said, never, NEVER own up to your failures, mistakes, or “misspeaks.” It’s not your fault.
4. Never, ever try anything NEW. You could fail. Let someone else try it first: then fail.
5. Tell the truth only when it reflects positively on YOU. Truth, remember, is convenient.
6. NEVER seem perfect. Every day, dress or act in some way that others can find fault with you. This way you can seem imperfect and still maintain your superiority.
7. Make little mistakes to seem human.
8. Tell people little about yourself; your insecurities and screw-ups are closer to the surface than you think. Hide them.
9. There is absolutely no answer to a pretentious, bombastic self-aggrandizing personality. Assert yourself!
10. If you are not sure about something, speak with more authority.
Following these 10 basic precepts will assure your status as an ingenuinely imperfect person. Your perfection will remain intact within.
For what it’s worth,
Gary
Clueless Christianity 
Thanks for this, Gary. Some incredibly painful recent experiences with my family of origin have shown me how closely I have mistakenly linked being perfect with being loved. My failures are finally so big even I can’t deny them anymore, and as predicted, my family’s love has been withdrawn as a result. But – what a concept – my worth can still remain intact because the creator of the universe loved me before I ever did anything worthy or rotten. Sorry it took me 58 years to figure that out. Paradoxically, and miraculously, I have left my kids with a different legacy – no matter how much she messes up, my daughter knows she is loved. Period. Perfection is over-rated.
Barb,
Perfection IS overrated, Barb. I was perfect back in 1987. March 13th. From 1:11-1:17 p.m. Glad that passed. Calvinism provides a great foundation for reminding us how imperfect we are. WORSHIP grants us the release to remember we are not perfect…, but it doesn’t matter. We are blessed.
Oh, I have a video for the Hannah-girl. How can I send it to her?
Gary