perspective August 23, 2010Posted by needinc in emPulse.
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EmPulse for Week of August 23, 2010
Maurits Cornelis Escher (1898 – 1972), usually referred to as M. C. Escher , interpreted ideas of multi-dimensional planes where objects refused to remain on their own plane and leapt to another, defying the laws of aspect and perception. He challenged the rules of perspective and the viewpoint of the observer by skewing the eye’s ability to follow a line to the vanishing point beyond the horizon.
Not incongruously, this happens to most of us when we try to make sense of what lies before us in many areas of life. There are more variables than constants, more uncertainties than givens, more unpredictable scenarios than sureties. Our perspective can become skewed, distorted, out-of-true; no longer able to interpret reality accurately, we oft make decisions and form commitments based on erroneous information or blurry perspective; and things go very, very, very badly.
Accurate perception, perspective, must consider a wide variety of factors to grasp realities correctly. Do I have enough data? Do I have the right data? What might be missing? How does my observation of the data effect its interpretation? What is the relationship between my vantage-point and what I am examining? What are my unconscious assumptions, conclusions, prejudices? Also, there is the factor of personality resonance and chaffing, not to mention personal differences in perspective and interpretation. In business and family matters personal emotions must also be considered; fiery tempers & passive-aggressives are a lethal combination in any circle. Long-term resentments and seething animosities lie just below the surface of seemingly cordial familial partnerships. Careful!
Nonetheless, gaining precise perspectives on relationships, business decisions, future plans, etc. is critical for anyone trying to make an impact on our present-day world situation. Whether you are 13 years old, delivering newspapers, 23 years old working at your first job in an investment brokerage, or 45 years old trying to change the ethos of a company known for its questionable business practices, having the correct perspective on what you are endeavoring to accomplish is essential if you intend to make a difference in today’s convoluted society. Here is a list of ideas on gaining an accurate perspective:
1. Listen carefully to others—especially to those who disagree with your assessment.
2. Assume a position of humility; you’ll learn more.
3. Research, research, research.
4. Find historical precedent, whether in relationships or business. “Those who do not learn from history… .”
5. Be honest with yourself about your short-comings. Find people who can countermand them.
6. Ask God for guidance. [Actually wait for it to come.]
7. After all is said & done, you have to trust your gut.
8. Make a decision that matters.
9. If you get it wrong, you’ve eliminated a variable. Try again.
10. Always update your perspective to stay current with changing relationships, cultural & economic conditions.
Now go back to the drawing boards and get it right! Make what you do matter! Make a difference! [Or, try a Tesseract cube to relax- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5xN4DxdiFrs&feature=related ]
Have a nice week.
success for dummies August 22, 2010Posted by needinc in emPulse.
EmPulse for Week of August 16, 2010
success for dummies
It is well known to my friends that I have made a lot of mistakes. To me, it feels as if I’ve raised failure to the level of an art form. Nonetheless, I have learned from my mistakes, and my friends, not to make the same mistakes again. Well, er, that isn’t exactly true. One of my other life dictums is— Always make the same mistake at least twice; that way you’ll be able to make it perfectly the third time.
Although I’ve been through all kinds of management regimens (time management, decision making, problem analysis, potential problem analysis, hand-writing analysis, body language reading, etc.), I have always found that understanding HOW to DO something is not the same as actually doing it. Furthermore, success at anything requires not only a vision of what is not-yet and needs-to-be, but also the perspicuity and tenacity to make it happen…, in a team effort, with others who do not share your Achilles’ heels (or clumsy feet), blind-spots, or, yes, stupidities. Working in a vacuum always makes it harder to breathe freely.
Backing up a bit, becoming a “success” first needs prior definition. What is success? Accumulation of $$$? Bling!? Bling!? A Mercedes? Lavish stuff? Or is it something slightly less tangible, yet far more durable? Ending hunger in just one part of the world. Curing AIDS. Turning around a ghetto in NYC or East LA. Saving history accurately. Providing scholarships & grants for those in need. Maintaining a wacked-out, flourishing, loving, Silly-String home. Bringing peace and laughter into a tense workplace. Loving one convoluted teenager. Righting an injustice in your community. It’s simply…, making a difference.
Defining success is prerequisite to being successful. What’s the quote… If you aim at nothing you’re bound to hit it. What might be worse is mindlessly assuming everyone else’s definition of success. Usually money. Rather, ask yourself questions like these—
1. What does it mean for me to be significant?
2. What one thing do I want to accomplish in my life more than anything else?
3. Where is a concrete, actual place on this planet where I can make a difference?
4. What skills do I have to give away?
5. What skills will I need to help me fulfill God’s design on my life? How do I get them?
6. How will I know when I am truly successful?
Make your life count. It’s not so much about how long you live, or how much wealth you accumulate as it is about the legacy, the contribution, you leave behind.
Have a nice week.
intimacy August 9, 2010Posted by needinc in emPulse.
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EmPulse for Week of August 9, 2010
1. the state of being intimate. 2. a close, familiar, and usually affectionate or loving personal relationship with another person or group. 3. a close association with or detailed knowledge or deep understanding of a place, subject, period of history, etc.: an intimacy with Japan. 4. an act or expression serving as a token of familiarity, affection, or the like: to allow the intimacy of using first names. 5. sexual intercourse. 6. the quality of being comfortable, warm, or familiar: the intimacy of the room. (http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/intimacy)
But why start with “definition” at all? Do we feel safer with things we can put a tag on, classify, categorize, name, or identify? Does it give us a feeling of greater control because it is a defined thing? Are realities more under control once they are sorted by classification in our minds than when they are free to roam as ideas or emotions? Are emotions more of a danger to some of us than the prisons of logical reasoning? Why are some of us so guarded, so fearful? [To be sure, some of us need to keep ourselves a little more reserved.] Why are others of us so comfortable in our own skin, comfortable with anyone?
Intimacy…, & deeper intimacy, is a factor of individual, personal safety. The safer a person feels in a situation, the more relaxed, open, comfortable, & intimate the conversation, camaraderie, or love-making. The presence of fear or insecurity in a situation inhibits the sense of safety, and thus, the depth of intimacy possible.
The ramifications of a loss of intimacy in relationships are immense. Whether in business, religion, politics, or interpersonal relationships, trust, deep-trust, is key to honor in contracts & commitment. Without it, only betrayal and legal action will follow. We base our lives on the commitments and confidences we form between one another as our bond. To be intimate with another is to fortify that bond in a richer loyalty.
Those who are afraid of intimacy disclose much about themselves. They reveal that they have been betrayed, that they have been hurt deeply. They reveal that trust does not come as easily for them as it once did. They tell us that they do not want to be known too deeply ever again. These are people of sadness, who must live in the shadow of freedom offered freely to them by God. In essence, they choose to trust not even Him. Their fear blocks the lightness of His Love. They choose, rather, to live lives of inner isolation shrouded within a serene façade.
For those who are open to God’s love are also open to love others, and to receive love from others…, freely. Theirs is a life of freedom, forgiveness, celebration, and companionship. They are united with the God who made them and free to love those around them— from husband, to wife, to workmate, to enemy. Intimacy at its finest!
They rest well at night. How do you sleep? Being open to intimacy is a great key to open a locked-down heart.
Have a nice week.
Fear of being un-known August 4, 2010Posted by needinc in emPulse.
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EmPulse for Week of August 2, 2010
Many people in our society are terrified of being known, of revealing too much of themselves to others. Thus, though sociable outwardly, they conceal their souls in secrecy. Yet others long for significance; theirs is a desire to make a difference, to leave a mark, to be known: they have a continual underlying fear that their lives won’t matter— theirs is a fear is of being unknown, of being ignored. For this kind of person there is a daily disappointment in the mundane, the repetitious, the monotonous routine. They long to contribute something of significance but may, in fact, live lives of trivial irrelevance.
Their inconsequential reality plays horrible tricks with them—
1. Need to Impress— Their fear of being unknown causes them to constantly try to impress people.
2. OCD— Obsessive Compulsive Disorder; they have to be right! They over prepare for everything.
3. Exaggerated Life— Their reported life, seeming greater than it actually is, leads them to believe their own lie.
4. Loss of Significant Solitude— Solitude allows for contemplation & self-examination. In doing so, people who fear being unknown just might not measure up, even to themselves.
5. Loss of Self-Esteem— Remaining unknown brings on possible depression and resignation to a dull life.
If you find yourself among those who fear being insignificant throughout life, muse over these offerings—
1. Quiet Humbleness— Give other people the opportunity to draw attention to your accomplishments.
2. Admit Mistakes— Statistically, you can’t get it wrong all the time. Still, do your best; but don’t overdo it.
3. Reality Bites— Live an honest life before God & man. It is so much more satisfying than remembering the lies.
4. Friendly Fire— Find someone who will truly level with you about how you come across to people. Listen! Do not defend yourself. Take the shots. Then get alone before God and yourself to reflect on your soul in solitude.
5. Being…, so much more than Doing— If self-esteem comes from doing, it can all be swept away in an instant. Search for significance in who God has designed you do BE as a integral part of His creation.
Your life already has a context. You are of considerable importance to more people than you might realize. Still, it is more important to be known to God than to be known to men. Being unknown is not possible. Give it up.
Have a nice week.